Welcome
Login:   Pass:     Register - Forgot Password - Resend Activation

Turkish Class Forums / General/Off-topic

General/Off-topic

Add reply to this discussion
Can it be true love or am I deluded?
(31 Messages in 4 pages - View all)
[1] 2 3 4
1.       Tiny
28 posts
 28 Nov 2005 Mon 11:13 pm

Hi everyone! I'm new to this website having stumbled upon it while browsing the internet looking for information on visas/passports to get my boyfriend over to the UK from Turkey for a visit and thought it would be great to chat with people in similar situations and get advice and opinions which would be most appreciated before I make the drastic decision to move to Turkey!

I met a Turk while on holiday in Marmaris in June 2004 and have just returned from my fourth trip out to see him. The relationship has got to the stage now where he wants me to move to Turkey to marry him and make a life out there with him. I'm both happy and excited at the prospect but having read all the cynical stories - not just on this website but from the press, I naturally have my reservations as to whether I can trust him. I should add here that I'm a London born Turkish Cypriot so don't know if this makes any difference to the way he regards me and our relationship. My Turkish is quite poor having been lazy about learning it as I grew up in London but fortunately he speaks good English so we communicate in both.

He works in tourism selling day trips and excersions and I know this is really hard work with long hours so the prospect of a new life with a Brit with a bit of money probably seems a very attractive proposition. To me he isn't a typical Turk. There were no declarations of love after our first meeting, in fact I was despairing of him every saying he loved me when he finally uttered those 3 words over a year into our relationship! He said he wouldn't say such a thing until he felt it and meant it so I guess that goes in his favour. Also he has no wish or desire to come to London, hence why I'm contemplating the big move. He says he's happy in Turkey and thinks it's paradise although he's never been out of the country!

Am I foolish to think he's unique and has honorable intentions towards me? I guess I'll only really find out when I move out there but would appreciate your comments, advice and opinions - having read some of your comments to other members I know you guys can be brutally honest!

Look forward to hearing from you.

2.       catwoman
8933 posts
 29 Nov 2005 Tue 02:10 am

Afet, you are asking a difficult question. It's good that you are aware of the different things that happen around between men from Turkey and women from GB. I would say be on guard and test his love and patience. Use your wisdom to understand his behaviour and demand from him to make sacrifices for your relationship, that might help you understand how serious and committed he is. Apparently you have doubts, so something is not completely right.
It also depends how old both of you are and if you are ready to make a long term commitment.
If you WANT to go to Turkey to live with him, if this is what your heart desires without knowing that you are sacrifizing your education and happiness, I think it would be ok to go then. Relationship is always a risk to some extent.

3.       Tatli
6 posts
 29 Nov 2005 Tue 08:54 am

My 5cents..... I worked in turkey this past summer with turkish boys....we worked in tourism so i can say a few words about those kind of guys. First of all, they all have a girlfriend from a foreign country but despite this they still go around sleeping with other girls. I talked to them many of times about this...they say they love their girlfriend and want to marry her and be with her, so then why do they go sleeping with other girls....they told me they have needs but that it is only sex with the other girls. OK, about the fact that he said I love you after a year, some of the guys when they pick up girls say I love you just to get them in bed obviously but others cant just say it which does not mean their intentions are pure. For me, I really like the guys i worked with and in their defense I truly believe they did not see anything wrong with it. One of the men was 50 and doing the same thing!!! I am no one to give advice. I am in a tough situations myself. I am dating one of those boys who I worked with and yes I have doubts but not because he gave me reason to doubt him but because of all the talk on this website. I think you do not need any advice. You know best what he wants and just listen to what your heart says it will lead you in the right direction. PS i want to move to turkey someday after i finish college....and i figure life opens many doors for us so we should take advantage of them and shit if it doesnt work out you can always go back to london or somewhere else.

4.       ~crissie~
58 posts
 29 Nov 2005 Tue 09:58 am

i met my boyfriend on holiday
and he wants me to move to turkey and marry him.
like your bf he did not say he loved me strait away
and i think that is a good thing
i miss him like mad
i think that your b/f really does love you
bye


i miss him

5.       ~crissie~
58 posts
 29 Nov 2005 Tue 10:06 am

and all this talk on all the websites, i agree, does make you worry
at one point i read so many bad stories i started to wonder if he really loved me, or if it was just because i am from another country
but now i am sure he loves me and i think that the people who have good experiances dont add antything to thses websites telling us about turkish guys i think its mainly only people who have had bad experiances
bye lol

6.       sophie
2712 posts
 29 Nov 2005 Tue 11:56 am

Quoting ~crissie~:

and all this talk on all the websites, i agree, does make you worry
at one point i read so many bad stories i started to wonder if he really loved me, or if it was just because i am from another country
but now i am sure he loves me and i think that the people who have good experiances dont add antything to thses websites telling us about turkish guys i think its mainly only people who have had bad experiances
bye lol



Well i think Crissie is right. I m one of those who have had only good experiences and memories from Turkey. There i met the one who used to be 'my turk' and though we are not together anymore, i have no regrets about those 2.5 years i spent with him. He tought me so many things and made me a better human being. Maybe i was lucky, i don't know. But i definately disagree with those who believe that every turk is a creep. They do have a heart lan! And when they love, they love! When they fool around, they fool around. Like any other human being in the whole world...

7.       mltm
3690 posts
 29 Nov 2005 Tue 12:03 pm

Quoting sophie:


But i definately disagree with those who believe that every turk is a creep. They do have a heart lan! And when they love, they love! When they fool around, they fool around. Like any other human being in the whole world...



yes, otherwise there would be no happy couple in Turkey...

8.       sophie
2712 posts
 29 Nov 2005 Tue 12:42 pm

Quoting mltm:


yes, otherwise there would be no happy couple in Turkey...



The same story was told about greek men 5-10 maybe 20 years ago. That they were after foreign women, so that they could get a visa and a better future in a foreign country, through a marriage. And yes, there is no smoke without a fire. Ofcourse some did this. But most fell in love with foreign women just because they were so much different from the greek ones. Was it their free spirit? Their independance? Their powerful personalities? I have no idea! But they were different. And this made greek men fall in love with them. It was their heart beating, not their ambition to move in a different country, or take advantage of their wealth.
And if they were manipulating those women, then how come most of those couples live permanently in greece and have never moved to any of those women's motherland? I wonder...

9.       xanthea
83 posts
 29 Nov 2005 Tue 01:00 pm

10.       Kimberley
10 posts
 29 Nov 2005 Tue 01:14 pm


(31 Messages in 4 pages - View all)
[1] 2 3 4
Add reply to this discussion




Turkish Dictionary
Turkish Chat
Open mini chat
New in Forums
possessive case help me..
mrdr: Hi,Could you please write whole sentence? If I know the sentence,...
Grammar Textbook
qdemir: The e-book version is now $4.99 instead of $9.99 at Amazon.com till th...
TURK-ENG. .THX...
mrdr: Hi, This is more difficult than other sentence. I try to translate. ...
TUR-ENG thank you...
mrdr: Hi,It is very difficult to protect real ... I translated in Go...
Eid
bydand: Iyi Bayramlar.
T羹rk癟em kontrol edebilir misin l羹tfen?
john250: yardimin ... teekkur ederim. Hersey anladim
T羹rk癟em kontrol edebilir mis覺n l羹tfen?
john250: yard覺m覺n ... teekkur eder覺m
G繹re explained
ETurgut1974: Thank you
G繹re explained
ETurgut1974: I understand that ... ... means ... to me’. In a movie I re...
G繹re explained
ETurgut1974: I understand that ... ... means ... to me’. In a movie I re...
- m覺t覺 / -d覺
: ...
e to t please
mrdr: Haziran sonunda ... ... Orada olacak m覺s覺n? Seninle buluma...
Random Pictures of Turkey
Add thumbnails like this to your site
Most commented