My boyfriend is saying that he want to come to my place with somebody and ask me to marry him or it is the first visit.And he was saying something about the coffee that the girl should give to the guests and for him visout a sugar?????? Can somebody please explain what will go on?

Many thanks

Its called "Kız istemek" here.

Boys parents inform girls parent at first. For example they can say "We want to come to your home tomorrow for an auspicious work." And generally girls parents says "Ok, ok. Pls come in" And after that inform girls parents starts to work immediately. Because they have to clean the house, organize something etc.

The other day boys and his parents come. They have to bring a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolate. And generally boys and his father and girls father wears suit. And the girl wears a good dress. And mothers too.

After their comings, firstly they generally speaks trivial things. Meanwhile the girl have to go to the kitchen and make Turkish coffe for everyone and then she have to serve herself. (Its the most dramatic scene )

After Turkish coffe or meanwhile drinking it, boys father start to speak. Sir, our coming reason is known. Our girl and boy love each other. So with Allah's order and prophets agreement, we want (request) your girl to my son.

And after it, its girls father time. He can two alternative. First he can say you know our girl is so important for us. And he can ask abouth boys job, earnings etc. And then he can say Teens love each other. What can i say? May it be auspicious. It means everything is ok.
And second alternative means no. In this case girls father have to say its reason. Our girl must finish her school first, etc etc. Or girls father can say no with an angry way.

It has some more details but its ok for you

Good luck

) Wowww!!! Sounds funny and interesting )) I start to feel myself like a prize ) ... But if I am the one who decide what to do with my own life what then?

And he also wa saying something about the sugar? What is it about? What does it mean?

Tnaks in advance )

Yes you can decide your own life but you know its just tradition.

I dont know sugar. Maybe you can serve sugar (chocolate, lokum etc)

Yes, I agree, plus I like the traditions ... I wanted to say if I have not have anybody whom his parents can address ... what to do in this case?

Oh yes sorry

Your friend maybe, your relative maybe or if there is no one you by yourself. There is no problem.

I believe with the sugar he meant that the Turkish coffee has to be made well. I mean, there is a certain way Turkish coffee should be made AND look. It cant be all fluffy and foamy, but totally foamless like nescafe isnt correct either if i remember.. So the girl has to make the coffee perfect. And if his father loves very sweet coffee, she should add 2 spoons/lumps of sugar to his coffee in the cezve?

I thought there wasn't really such a thing of Kız istemek anymore, or mostly informal and without the coffee

No its still alive Thx to God

But just formal yes but with Turkish coffee ehehe. But still alive. Its a culture
And some of them arent formal

By the way perfect Turkish coffe has foam all of its surface

I would never see that happen to us, though it would be rather cool and Id like to say that my Turkish coffee is not bad for a starter either hehe.

But as my lovers parents didnt do the Kız istemek (çünkü onlar kızı istememişler ), he just took her

Maybe cause you are foreigner. So they just respect your culture and traditions i thougth and dont need that.