Quoting lynda0090:

i have met a turkish man and we get on really well but he seems to have taken over my life. he decides what we eat and do. He's now gone back to his home town for 10 days. he phoned last night saying one of his friends will be round today to take me for a walk ( what's he think i am a dog). He seems very posessive. Is all this normal with turkish men or is he over the top. He's even talking about getting engaged when he comes back.

Very confused...Lynda

Quoting lynda0090:

i have no problems with the way he treats me....its just a bit alien to me. He makes me feel very special.

Thanks Lynda

Quoting lynda0090:

i have met a turkish man and we get on really well but he seems to have taken over my life. he decides what we eat and do. He's now gone back to his home town for 10 days. he phoned last night saying one of his friends will be round today to take me for a walk ( what's he think i am a dog). He seems very posessive. Is all this normal with turkish men or is he over the top. He's even talking about getting engaged when he comes back.

Very confused...Lynda

Quoting lynda0090:

i have no problems with the way he treats me....its just a bit alien to me. He makes me feel very special.

Thanks Lynda

Quoting kat007:

I think most Turkish men are possessive and jealous people. If you don't believe me go look for english girlfriends of Turkish men. It's a support group, haha for girls to deal with their Turkish boyfriends. Yeah! And everyone always whines about how controlling they can be.

My boyfriend always says "you're mine, totally, only mine" And then he says "I'm yours askim, bitanem."

A little possessive and jealous is ok, but telling you what to eat, do or wear or go...those things are kind of going too far. Which ever thing you don't like you should talk about it and mention it to him otherwise he will ASSUME it's ok with you and keep doing it. Sometimes when my bf acts a certain way I don't like I talk to him about it until he stops it (even if I have to tell him 3 times).

Quoting kat007:

RULES RULES RULES!!!

Don't get me started. These are some of the rules the nice english girlfriends and american girlfriends of Turkish men have to deal with. [Flash warning sign]

1) Can't go night clubbing
2) Can't go to the bars
3) Can't wear skimpy clothes when going out
4) Can't go swimming or beach wearing a bikini or a swimsuit
5) If you go out with girls he wants to know where
6) Can't talk on the phone with your ex bf
7) Can't have any male friends (he'll pout and sulk until you give in. Or he'll chase them all away by acting rude/possessive)sure women not equal individuals with men on most of areas of Turkey,and still some odd social rules working for make unhappy to most of inncent Turkish women ,beside that thats really good to some logical rules for keep in safe a relationship...(sure for both side,not just to women)
8) Need to answer his call when you're out or he'll wonder what you did
9) He wants to go everywhere with you and follow you around
1 Traveling by yourself--Forget it!
11) When you smile at guys or talk to guys on the street when he's around watch out--lecture coming
12) You can't even hug your male cousins
13) Some of the religious ones, he won't even let you stay in a room or living room alone with one of his brothers
14) He'll annouce that you're his gf if you talk to any males and he'll stay glued next to you.
15) If there's males on the sofa/couch you can't sit there.

Quoting lynda0090:

i have no problems with the way he treats me....its just a bit alien to me. He makes me feel very special.

Thanks Lynda

Quoting kat007:

RULES RULES RULES!!!

Don't get me started. These are some of the rules the nice english girlfriends and american girlfriends of Turkish men have to deal with. [Flash warning sign]

1) Can't go night clubbing
2) Can't go to the bars
3) Can't wear skimpy clothes when going out
4) Can't go swimming or beach wearing a bikini or a swimsuit
5) If you go out with girls he wants to know where
6) Can't talk on the phone with your ex bf
7) Can't have any male friends (he'll pout and sulk until you give in. Or he'll chase them all away by acting rude/possessive)
8) Need to answer his call when you're out or he'll wonder what you did
9) He wants to go everywhere with you and follow you around
1 Traveling by yourself--Forget it!
11) When you smile at guys or talk to guys on the street when he's around watch out--lecture coming
12) You can't even hug your male cousins
13) Some of the religious ones, he won't even let you stay in a room or living room alone with one of his brothers
14) He'll annouce that you're his gf if you talk to any males and he'll stay glued next to you.
15) If there's males on the sofa/couch you can't sit there.

Quoting CANLI:

No,it has nothing to do with Turkish women rights here Mrx.
Because the women here are not Turkish,

Quoting Trudy:

Jealousy?
Possesiveness?
Controle freak?

Women are not wireless dirigible toys!

Quoting MrX67:

Quoting Trudy:

Quoting MrX67: Quoting Trudy: Jealousy? Possesiveness? Controle freak? Women are not wireless dirigible toys! i bet every women like to be jealosed a bit in a sweet way

Quoting mylo:

I've had experience on both sides i've had Turkish girlfriends,and ive seen the effects of relationships with Turkish men and foreign women.The problem is trust in my opinion,Turkish guys are very good at talking the talk,but when it comes to trust and 'walking the walk' they are not the best,this said ive also seen lying Turkish girls they are as bad as each other.
I think trust is the basis for any relationship,no trust no friendship/relationship.I think there are insecure men in Turkey as there are in most countries,but in Turkey i have seen this alot,they are ok to look at foreign women but their wives must wear/eat what they order?Double standard?I Don't get this,I think its something from past history,'this is the way it was and this is how it will be'type of attitude,but i think it's changing slowly.
Generally educated Turks are more sincere than the ignorant 'tourist workers'(nothing wrong with tourist workers but their goal is to sell and play around with foreign women,in my opinion)i'm sure there are decent ones but ive yet to meet them.
Anyway thats my view on this,hope it all works out for you.

Quoting Serdar07:

still I can't understand what Lynda does complain from!

Quoting MarioninTurkey:

Quoting AEnigma III:

Quoting Serdar07:

Quoting AEnigma III: Quoting Serdar07: still I can't understand what Lynda does complain from! With all respect, your don't understand because you are a man! If any man feels he has to control what his partner wears, how she spends her time, who her friends are etc. then he must be very insecure and untrusting and it will only get WORSE if you marry them. Of course you don't see anything wrong - I can't imagine you would let your gf tell you that you may not go out alone with your friends, or that you may not wear certain things...

Quoting AEnigma III:

Quoting Serdar07: Quoting AEnigma III: Quoting Serdar07: still I can't understand what Lynda does complain from! With all respect, your don't understand because you are a man! If any man feels he has to control what his partner wears, how she spends her time, who her friends are etc. then he must be very insecure and untrusting and it will only get WORSE if you marry them. Of course you don't see anything wrong - I can't imagine you would let your gf tell you that you may not go out alone with your friends, or that you may not wear certain things... Ha Ha please read all my words about possession and love!!

Quoting AEnigma III:

Well it IS a fact that Turkish men are VERY possessive (MOST Turkish men ). There is definitely a cultural difference to men in the UK, for example.

In the UK there is a completely different attitude to jealousy. UK men don't get jealous if other men look at their girlfriends, or if they wear short shirts etc. because it makes them feel great that they have such an "object of desire" with them and it gives them a "kick" that other men are envious.

If you are out with your bf/gf socially, it is important that, although you arrive as a couple, you are attentive to other people to show respect. It is considered very good manners, for example, to slightly flirt with your friend's gf/bf as it is showing them attention If you are at a party it's completely acceptable to go and talk to other men and even flirt with them to a degree, just so long as you dont take things "too far" When I was out recently a friend of mine was actually complaining that her bf didn't flirt enough or pay enough attention to her friends!

A UK man would not DARE to refuse to let his gf go out on her own or with friends, or even away on holiday on her own. Any men that are "controlling" or too possessive are considered to need psychiatric help!

When you consider ALL the above, you can see why English girls find Turkish men so possessive. There is a REALLY BIG difference

Quoting mylo:

I'll go with that,but that doesnt mean we don't love our women as much as the next nation?I see it like this we are all free if 2 people want to be together they will be,as soon as rules are imposed that changes everything,who are we to shout rules at each other is man better than woman?is black better than white?If we trust,there can be no argument,we trust and love thats it,nothing more nothing less.

Quoting AEnigma III:

UK men don't get jealous if other men look at their girlfriends, or if they wear short shirts etc. because it makes them feel great that they have such an "object of desire" with them and it gives them a "kick" that other men are envious.

Quoting AEnigma III:

Quoting kafesteki kus:

With all respect ,In my humble opinion the title of this thread should be"Help to understand all the men"not only Turkish
We are two different species,which does not mean enemies...Aliens from totally different planets,speaking different languages and seeing the world in different way,no matter what is our cultural background

Quoting catwoman:

their "excessive attention" seems very exotic and charming. Sooner or later however, most of these women realize that it's all about power and control. Sometimes it's hard to get out of these relationships after a while because of the intimidation of the guy who cannot stand the woman leaving him. I would tell these women - don't lose your head, think rationally what this kind of control imbalance may lead to. Love is about mutual respect and listening, not about imposing anything on anybody because of his or her "definition of love".

Quoting turquoise:

actually people really dont know how to be friend,thats the first problem between them and they also dont know how to live together.

do you ask your friends to wear what u want them to or can u ask them to do everything you want? dont think so... cuz friendship makes you respect the people and each person has their own lifes and thoughts.by the way people do know each other and see if they can live together.so if someone doesnt treat you like you r his/her friend and doesnt make you feel safe how to be in love with them? as i always say if people cant be friends they can be nothing..

so lynda just think about it and dont rush...

Quoting turquoise:

actually people really dont know how to be friend,thats the first problem between them and they also dont know how to live together.

do you ask your friends to wear what u want them to or can u ask them to do everything you want? dont think so... cuz friendship makes you respect the people and each person has their own lifes and thoughts.by the way people do know each other and see if they can live together.so if someone doesnt treat you like you r his/her friend and doesnt make you feel safe how to be in love with them? as i always say if people cant be friends they can be nothing..

so lynda just think about it and dont rush...

Quoting catwoman:

Quoting mylo:

turqs not turk,hes lived there for a bit but he has the 'mind' of a balanced human being,only joking broby the way which resort do you work in?

Quoting MrX67:

i bet every women like to be jealosed a bit in a sweet way

Quoting mylo:

turqs not turk,hes lived there for a bit but he has the 'mind' of a balanced human being,only joking broby the way which resort do you work in?

Quoting christine:

This is the first time i have ever diagreed with you MrX67.

Quoting AEnigma III:

Quoting turquoise:

actually people really dont know how to be friend,thats the first problem between them and they also dont know how to live together.

do you ask your friends to wear what u want them to or can u ask them to do everything you want? dont think so... cuz friendship makes you respect the people and each person has their own lifes and thoughts.by the way people do know each other and see if they can live together.so if someone doesnt treat you like you r his/her friend and doesnt make you feel safe how to be in love with them? as i always say if people cant be friends they can be nothing..

so lynda just think about it and dont rush...

Quoting Serdar07:

Strange question!
Do you want to apply a map for love and feelings indicating different feelings? According to the locations and continents??

Quoting mylo:

keep stirring girl,aint gonna help you? i happen to know the guy oh sorry you didnt know?he's a great guy and not a tourist worker in any sense.

Quoting AEnigma III:

Quoting turquoise:

Quoting AEnigma III:

Sooooooo true
You SURE you are Turkish ?
(PS CATWOMAN! Stop trying to get him to join YOUR gang" )

Quoting Serdar07:

Quoting AEnigma III: Quoting turquoise: actually people really dont know how to be friend,thats the first problem between them and they also dont know how to live together. do you ask your friends to wear what u want them to or can u ask them to do everything you want? dont think so... cuz friendship makes you respect the people and each person has their own lifes and thoughts.by the way people do know each other and see if they can live together.so if someone doesnt treat you like you r his/her friend and doesnt make you feel safe how to be in love with them? as i always say if people cant be friends they can be nothing.. so lynda just think about it and dont rush... Sooooooo true You SURE you are Turkish ? (PS CATWOMAN! Stop trying to get him to join YOUR gang" )

Quoting mylo:

catwoman you belong to me dont forget....you love me...you want me if you don't understand i won't let you send me another mobile phone

Quoting mylo:

catwoman you belong to me dont forget....you love me...you want me if you don't understand i won't let you send me another mobile phone

Quoting mylo:

hey thats my mobile,keep your hands off....

Quoting AEnigma III:

Quoting AEnigma III:

Really?
You haven't been long at this site?

Quoting catwoman:

Quoting catwoman:

Quoting AEnigma III: Quoting mylo: hey thats my mobile,keep your hands off.... Catwoman do you want me to "deal" with Mylo boss? Usual fee?

Quoting catwoman:

Quoting AEnigma III: Quoting mylo: hey thats my mobile,keep your hands off.... Catwoman do you want me to "deal" with Mylo boss? Usual fee?

Quoting AEnigma III:

Quoting catwoman: Quoting AEnigma III: Quoting mylo: hey thats my mobile,keep your hands off.... Catwoman do you want me to "deal" with Mylo boss? Usual fee? Yes Aenigma, you know - the usual code and password - same as you did with the last one. Thank you dear.

Quoting AEnigma III:

Consider it done. Money to be delivered in used notes, plain brown envelope

Quoting mylo:

you just know ill come back as a mylo spelled differently,or with some other alias like?........hmmm

Quoting mylo:

why is the envelope brown?ask yourself this ill give you more catwoman but mine will be in a white envelope

Quoting mylo:

Quoting AEnigma III:

Quoting catwoman:

Quoting mylo:

when working for the CIA we worked out your system a long time ago and we realised that white envelopes are better(in a poll of 10so my money is clean it doesnt touch any other source,including the Aenigma alias's

Quoting AEnigma III:

Quoting catwoman: Quoting AEnigma III: Quoting mylo:

Quoting catwoman:

Quoting catwoman:

Aenigma... since Turquoise is a new member and still in denial... what technique do you suggest that we use to convert him to our gang?

Quoting mylo:

if you choose to meet my demands it would be wise,i'm a company man,the reward would have to be substantial,and not in an aenigma envelope(you know the one ,its the brown one thats been too near other asses),lets not confuse matters,dont forget i have friends in the pentagon,click of the fingers and all that....

Quoting AEnigma III:

Quoting AEnigma III:

If you are out with your bf/gf socially, it is important that, although you arrive as a couple, you are attentive to other people to show respect. It is considered very good manners, for example, to slightly flirt with your friend's gf/bf as it is showing them attention If you are at a party it's completely acceptable to go and talk to other men and even flirt with them to a degree, just so long as you dont take things "too far" When I was out recently a friend of mine was actually complaining that her bf didn't flirt enough or pay enough attention to her friends!

A UK man would not DARE to refuse to let his gf go out on her own or with friends, or even away on holiday on her own. Any men that are "controlling" or too possessive are considered to need psychiatric help!

Quoting AEnigma III:

OUR gang?
You abandoned that Foamy Borat girl now too?

How to persuade Turquoise? .........
violence?

Quoting catwoman:

Turquoise seems to be responding well so far...

Quoting mltm:

Quoting catwoman:

Quoting AEnigma III:

Quoting lynda0090:

i have met a turkish man and we get on really well but he seems to have taken over my life. he decides what we eat and do. He's now gone back to his home town for 10 days. he phoned last night saying one of his friends will be round today to take me for a walk ( what's he think i am a dog). He seems very posessive. Is all this normal with turkish men or is he over the top. He's even talking about getting engaged when he comes back.

Very confused...Lynda

Quoting cat_leo:

Quoting turquoise:

yall must be hungry girls stop talking with empty stomach

Quoting turquoise:

actually people really dont know how to be friend,thats the first problem between them and they also dont know how to live together.

do you ask your friends to wear what u want them to or can u ask them to do everything you want? dont think so... cuz friendship makes you respect the people and each person has their own lifes and thoughts.by the way people do know each other and see if they can live together.so if someone doesnt treat you like you r his/her friend and doesnt make you feel safe how to be in love with them? as i always say if people cant be friends they can be nothing..

Quoting AEnigma III:

Quoting mylo:

turq are you made of jeans?cotton? the last time i saw you you were very polyester like

Quoting AEnigma III:

Quoting mltm:

Hey, I'm out of the subject (I mean out of "your subject" . You've posted so many thinhs here, and I read all pages before. What am I to do here, what do I bring? What's happening lol

Quoting mylo:

The CIA is on the case leave this thread alone we need fingerprints.

Quoting AEnigma III:

Quoting mltm:

Yes, actually this is a good point. In the societies where male-female friendship are not very common and even sometimes forbidden, the males see females just as partners, so the only time they can get together is for a marriage intention. The two sexes do not know eachother very well on a friendship bases, so the feelings the males have for the females are rather possession. In the big cities (rather among the high educated), the male-female friendships are more common, so the possession is less but since the men cannot isolate himself from this culture which is dominant, he still has this over possession feeling.

Quoting turquoise:

alright,do u girls let your boyfriends go on vacation alone?

Quoting mylo:

Quoting turquoise:

Quoting mylo: Quoting turquoise: alright,do u girls let your boyfriends go on vacation alone? Mine lets me visit E5 if we have the money usually with useyir but hes not here

Quoting mylo:

Quoting AEnigma III: Quoting catwoman: Aenigma... since Turquoise is a new member and still in denial... what technique do you suggest that we use to convert him to our gang? OUR gang? You abandoned that Foamy Borat girl now too? How to persuade Turquoise? ......... violence?

Quoting mylo:

Quoting turquoise: Quoting mylo: Quoting turquoise: alright,do u girls let your boyfriends go on vacation alone? Mine lets me visit E5 if we have the money usually with useyir but hes not here awwwww poor guy ,this sad

Quoting turquoise:

alright,do u girls let your boyfriends go on vacation alone?

Quoting AEnigma III:

Anyway, lets get back to talking about Turkish boyfriends for a change...or post some translation requests ...

Quoting xkirstyx:

Guys, can you please not hijack threads all the time. It gets real tedious when we have to sift through 13 pages( sometimes more)half of which are just silly personal comments to eachother. Cant you use chat room, or private message or even just start a chatting thread? It's crazy how many of the threads on here that start of as interesting topics with interesting comments turn into pages and pages of nonsense from the same people all the time. Sorry to sound like a nag, but it is annoying.

Quoting xkirstyx:

Guys, can you please not hijack threads all the time. It gets real tedious when we have to sift through 13 pages( sometimes more)half of which are just silly personal comments to eachother. Cant you use chat room, or private message or even just start a chatting thread? It's crazy how many of the threads on here that start of as interesting topics with interesting comments turn into pages and pages of nonsense from the same people all the time. Sorry to sound like a nag, but it is annoying.

Quoting AEnigma III:

However, clearly, nobody ever searches old threads to find out things...

Quoting AEnigma III:

otherwise we would not be discussing the SAME OLD SUBJECTS time and time again

Quoting AEnigma III:

So...threads are disposable! Sorry but its true.

Quoting MarioninTurkey:

Where's our sense of humour....sounds like it just had a failure.

Yes, I like serious debate. I like to be able to help people with tranlations. I pop in and out of class while I am doing other work on my computer, as it can be a nice change from doing finance, accounting and book ordering...

BUT often no one posts anything. I can click on 15 minutes or 20 minutes after my previous visit and the last sensible post was one I read ages ago: so I enjoy seeing what has gone on with the fun guys.

So: SUMMARY MESSAGE: If you don't like it ... don't try to stop the guys making us all smile, send some sensible posts yourselves.

e.g. How about asking how you say something, rather than just sending a five paragraph letter to be translated? etc etc

e.g. How about asking what the Turkish is for nag? And an example sentence of how it is used?

e.g. How about trying to write 'FOR GOD'S SAKE STOP RUINING OUR THREAD' in Turkish, and ask someone to correct it for you...?

Quote:

Where's our sense of humour....sounds like it just had a failure.

Yes, I like serious debate. I like to be able to help people with tranlations. I pop in and out of class while I am doing other work on my computer, as it can be a nice change from doing finance, accounting and book ordering...

BUT often no one posts anything. I can click on 15 minutes or 20 minutes after my previous visit and the last sensible post was one I read ages ago: so I enjoy seeing what has gone on with the fun guys.

So: SUMMARY MESSAGE: If you don't like it ... don't try to stop the guys making us all smile, send some sensible posts yourselves.

e.g. How about asking how you say something, rather than just sending a five paragraph letter to be translated? etc etc

e.g. How about asking what the Turkish is for nag? And an example sentence of how it is used?

e.g. How about trying to write "FOR GOD'S SAKE STOP RUINING OUR THREAD" in Turkish, and ask someone to correct it for you...?

Quote:

Quoting girleegirl:

Watch your crown AEnigma dear...I see a pretender to the throne afoot!!

Quoting AEnigma III:

Quoting xkirstyx:

Guys, can you please not hijack threads all the time. It gets real tedious when we have to sift through 13 pages( sometimes more)half of which are just silly personal comments to eachother. Cant you use chat room, or private message or even just start a chatting thread? It's crazy how many of the threads on here that start of as interesting topics with interesting comments turn into pages and pages of nonsense from the same people all the time. Sorry to sound like a nag, but it is annoying.

Quoting turquoise:

ok ok sorry i wont post anymore cuz it causes trouble here

Quoting AEnigma III: