General/Off-topic |
|
|
|
|
|
help understanding turkish man
|
| 30. |
25 Aug 2007 Sat 08:20 pm |
|
Thank you all for your replies....given me something to think about. i go to bed early cause i know he will phone about midnight to make sure i've taken my tablets. i would like to think he's being protective over me. time will tell anyway.
lynda
|
|
| 31. |
25 Aug 2007 Sat 08:40 pm |
|
still I can't understand what Lynda does complain from!
Love is not possession or getting control on all what the other side has. And what is more important love a devine seceret none shared with others. Just the 2 lovers have the right to know the details. If you tried to say a word to a third one then be sure that there is something wrong. Possession in love like a conditional agreement to be ready at anytime to change your face.
Good luck.
|
|
| 32. |
25 Aug 2007 Sat 09:04 pm |
|
Quoting Serdar07: still I can't understand what Lynda does complain from!
|
With all respect, your don't understand because you are a man! If any man feels he has to control what his partner wears, how she spends her time, who her friends are etc. then he must be very insecure and untrusting and it will only get WORSE if you marry them.
Of course you don't see anything wrong - I can't imagine you would let your gf tell you that you may not go out alone with your friends, or that you may not wear certain things... 
|
|
| 33. |
25 Aug 2007 Sat 09:04 pm |
|
I am not complaining at all....just trying to understand
Lynda
|
|
| 34. |
25 Aug 2007 Sat 09:07 pm |
|
Quoting MarioninTurkey: Quoting mylo: I've had experience on both sides i've had Turkish girlfriends,and ive seen the effects of relationships with Turkish men and foreign women.The problem is trust in my opinion,Turkish guys are very good at talking the talk,but when it comes to trust and 'walking the walk' they are not the best,this said ive also seen lying Turkish girls they are as bad as each other.
I think trust is the basis for any relationship,no trust no friendship/relationship.I think there are insecure men in Turkey as there are in most countries,but in Turkey i have seen this alot,they are ok to look at foreign women but their wives must wear/eat what they order?Double standard?I Don't get this,I think its something from past history,'this is the way it was and this is how it will be'type of attitude,but i think it's changing slowly.
Generally educated Turks are more sincere than the ignorant 'tourist workers'(nothing wrong with tourist workers but their goal is to sell and play around with foreign women,in my opinion)i'm sure there are decent ones but ive yet to meet them.
Anyway thats my view on this,hope it all works out for you. |
Mylo couldn't agree more.
There is a HUGE difference between the attitude of the university graduate who works in the bank, and the village boy who has a temporary job as a waiter in Antalya. Sorry to sound so "snobbish" but Turkish society is really class-ridden. A young lady from the bank wouldn't touch the waiter with a rusty barge pole!
|
universite graduate? it means nothing marinion, i saw many people with university degree but still ignorant,i dont agree with you and that could be explained better..
|
|
| 35. |
25 Aug 2007 Sat 09:07 pm |
|
Quoting AEnigma III: Quoting Serdar07: still I can't understand what Lynda does complain from!
|
With all respect, your don't understand because you are a man! If any man feels he has to control what his partner wears, how she spends her time, who her friends are etc. then he must be very insecure and untrusting and it will only get WORSE if you marry them.
Of course you don't see anything wrong - I can't imagine you would let your gf tell you that you may not go out alone with your friends, or that you may not wear certain things... |
Ha Ha please read all my words about possession and love!!
|
|
| 36. |
25 Aug 2007 Sat 09:09 pm |
|
Quoting Serdar07: Quoting AEnigma III: Quoting Serdar07: still I can't understand what Lynda does complain from!
|
With all respect, your don't understand because you are a man! If any man feels he has to control what his partner wears, how she spends her time, who her friends are etc. then he must be very insecure and untrusting and it will only get WORSE if you marry them.
Of course you don't see anything wrong - I can't imagine you would let your gf tell you that you may not go out alone with your friends, or that you may not wear certain things... |
Ha Ha please read all my words about possession and love!! |
I read them - but find it hard to believe that you would feel such "possession" to be equal
|
|
| 37. |
25 Aug 2007 Sat 09:12 pm |
|
Quoting AEnigma III: Quoting Serdar07: Quoting AEnigma III: Quoting Serdar07: still I can't understand what Lynda does complain from!
|
With all respect, your don't understand because you are a man! If any man feels he has to control what his partner wears, how she spends her time, who her friends are etc. then he must be very insecure and untrusting and it will only get WORSE if you marry them.
Of course you don't see anything wrong - I can't imagine you would let your gf tell you that you may not go out alone with your friends, or that you may not wear certain things... |
Ha Ha please read all my words about possession and love!! |
I read them - but find it hard to believe that you would feel such "possession" to be equal |
Thanks , You don't have to believe me... But that is the true life and love for me.
regards
|
|
| 38. |
25 Aug 2007 Sat 09:16 pm |
|
so this isnt true?I have also met ignorant educated turks,but they can be found alot more in the low payed jobs within the tourist industry,as in every country.My ex girlfriend in Turkey was a trainee accountant,she took the piss out of me big time,2/3 boyfriends on the go at the same time?The next girl i met was an 'interior designer'didnt mean a thing she was the same.
I've also met guys(good for me not for young foreign girls)who i still talk within Marmaris and Antalya regions they tell me they are 'on a good thing' with so and so,we all know what they mean,the sad thing is that the females who come to this site for 'Guidance' isnt for Turkish in the main its for 'cross cultural relationship advice'.
Its a sign of the times what can we say?
|
|
| 39. |
25 Aug 2007 Sat 09:17 pm |
|
Well it IS a fact that Turkish men are VERY possessive (MOST Turkish men ). There is definitely a cultural difference to men in the UK, for example.
In the UK there is a completely different attitude to jealousy. UK men don't get jealous if other men look at their girlfriends, or if they wear short shirts etc. because it makes them feel great that they have such an "object of desire" with them and it gives them a "kick" that other men are envious.
If you are out with your bf/gf socially, it is important that, although you arrive as a couple, you are attentive to other people to show respect. It is considered very good manners, for example, to slightly flirt with your friend's gf/bf as it is showing them attention  If you are at a party it's completely acceptable to go and talk to other men and even flirt with them to a degree, just so long as you dont take things "too far" When I was out recently a friend of mine was actually complaining that her bf didn't flirt enough or pay enough attention to her friends!
A UK man would not DARE to refuse to let his gf go out on her own or with friends, or even away on holiday on her own. Any men that are "controlling" or too possessive are considered to need psychiatric help!
When you consider ALL the above, you can see why English girls find Turkish men so possessive. There is a REALLY BIG difference
|
|
| 40. |
25 Aug 2007 Sat 09:19 pm |
|
sorry i've cause such a problem....but its true i was only looking for some advice
Lynda
|
|
|
