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1480.       FamilyGuy
81 posts
 13 Nov 2008 Thu 10:29 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

 This is horrific   I don´t know much about family social services, but from my observation it does seem that the emphasis is too much on helping the parents, rather than the children.    Yet another story today about two children stabbed....

 

I do think that much of the problem is now cultural here.  Women (especially young women) have bizarre reasons for having children (including "to get out of school", "because I thought it would make my boyfriend stay with me", "because I wanted to get more money from social services"  because it is socially acceptable to have babies at any age (married or unmarried). 

 

My comment sounds far more conservative than I actually am, but I just think that there is a social/cultural problem in the UK and it´s effects are increasingly frightening.  I don´t really know what the answer is

 

 I can completely understand why you think that the system is here to help the parents... but from my point of view, I am here to help and support the children, and sometimes the best way to help the children is to help the parents to become better parents... You are completely correct about many young mothers and fathers  having children because they get financial support and housing....if there is no evidence that the child is at risk then you have to work to allow that child to have a  happy home life with parents who can cope    ...I wont go into my experience of parenting classes and detox programms.. it would take too long

but what i would like to say there is still too much red tape in some areas of the uk and too little in other parts of the uk.......

in the last week I spent 3 hours interviewing a parent because their child failed a maths exam and made a silly comment "my mum is going to kill to me, im in big trouble when i get home" some teacher decided that according to legislation it would be right to report this comment".....another 3 hours spent this week interviewing a parent because their child fell off a wall and had been to the hospital for another incident in the past 6 months.... I discussed this with my colleagues who feel that doing something is better than nothing... but what happened to common sense?

 

so what i ask myself is how can the child protection in my area be so aggressive and this baby was seen 60 times.....and no one did a thing

 

I dont have the answers... just in my region we were inspected on our child protection and we go a good report on most aspects apart from sharing information with other agencies

 

I dont know the in´s and out´s of this case but perhaps if agencies were more willing to share information this could be prevented in the future

 

and i cant belive i have gone on and on about this... but its something i feel very passionate about......

1481.       lady in red
6947 posts
 13 Nov 2008 Thu 10:29 pm

 

Quoting libralady

 I also walked through there today and not a sign!  What time was it? 

 

Being my preferred route from Kings Cross to the underground................

 

No idea - but I don´t suppose you spent the whole day walking through St Pancras did you? I doubt they spent all day there.

1482.       libralady
5152 posts
 13 Nov 2008 Thu 10:36 pm

 

Quoting lady in red

No idea - but I don´t suppose you spent the whole day walking through St Pancras did you? I doubt they spent all day there.

 

 Hahaha!  It is actually quite a beautiful place................ and some nice shops................. I suppose it was about 9:45 this morning............. but the photos are taken upstairs where no one would go, unless you are going to the champagne bar and that is out of my price range.  Cup of tea in Starbucks is about my limit {#lang_emotions_rolleyes}

1483.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 10:04 am

The romance was virtual. But the behaviour of David Pollard´s character in an online game has cost him his real marriage!!

 

As divorce cases go, ... a woman catches her husband having sex with a prostitute, forgives him, but finally throws in the towel after discovering he has been unfaithful again. Yet absolutely none of it happened in real life.

Amy Taylor is divorcing David Pollard, .. on the grounds of "unreasonable behaviour" after she discovered his character in the online community game Second Life had been having an affair.

It was the second time ....l. Before they were married, she had once awoken from an afternoon nap to discover him sitting at his computer watching his online character – whom he had named Dave Barmy – having sex with an on-screen call girl.

She said: "I went mad – I was so hurt. I just couldn´t believe what he´d done. I looked at the computer screen and could see his character having sex with a female character. It´s cheating as far as I´m concerned."

.. But in April this year, she caught his character in flagrante for a second time. "I caught him cuddling a woman on a sofa in the game. It looked really affectionate," she said...

 

The day after discovering his online affair, Ms Taylor filed for divorce,..

Mr Pollard, 40, admitted he had been having an online affair with a woman from America, and the pair´s characters are now engaged in Second Life.

..but then Amy found out about it and went mad, and said ´how could you do this, you bastard?´ {#lang_emotions_scared}

 

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/..g-an-affair-in-second-life-1017946.html

 

1484.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 11:44 am

 

Quoting FamilyGuy

 I can completely understand why you think that the system is here to help the parents... but from my point of view, I am here to help and support the children, and sometimes the best way to help the children is to help the parents to become better parents... You are completely correct about many young mothers and fathers  having children because they get financial support and housing....if there is no evidence that the child is at risk then you have to work to allow that child to have a  happy home life with parents who can cope    ...I wont go into my experience of parenting classes and detox programms.. it would take too long

but what i would like to say there is still too much red tape in some areas of the uk and too little in other parts of the uk.......

in the last week I spent 3 hours interviewing a parent because their child failed a maths exam and made a silly comment "my mum is going to kill to me, im in big trouble when i get home" some teacher decided that according to legislation it would be right to report this comment".....another 3 hours spent this week interviewing a parent because their child fell off a wall and had been to the hospital for another incident in the past 6 months.... I discussed this with my colleagues who feel that doing something is better than nothing... but what happened to common sense?

 

so what i ask myself is how can the child protection in my area be so aggressive and this baby was seen 60 times.....and no one did a thing

 

I dont have the answers... just in my region we were inspected on our child protection and we go a good report on most aspects apart from sharing information with other agencies

 

I dont know the in´s and out´s of this case but perhaps if agencies were more willing to share information this could be prevented in the future

 

and i cant belive i have gone on and on about this... but its something i feel very passionate about......

 

 As I said I don´t know enough about how Social Services work (you obviously know more about it).  Despite my comments about them, I do think we all rush to blame them, instead of blaming the actual parents (!) and society itself.

 

I feel very passionate about it too, and my sister (who is a special care baby unit nurse) tells me horrific stories of some of the babies they have in their care, some harmed, some full of illegal drugs because the mother took them during pregnancy.  They find that social services do everything they can to return these babies to their mothers, and it is heartbreaking for them to hand back these poor babies, who have been so mistreated, to the very people who harmed them in the first place

1485.       libralady
5152 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 02:32 pm

 

Quoting thehandsom

The romance was virtual. But the behaviour of David Pollard´s character in an online game has cost him his real marriage!!

 

As divorce cases go, ... a woman catches her husband having sex with a prostitute, forgives him, but finally throws in the towel after discovering he has been unfaithful again. Yet absolutely none of it happened in real life.

Amy Taylor is divorcing David Pollard, .. on the grounds of "unreasonable behaviour" after she discovered his character in the online community game Second Life had been having an affair.

It was the second time ....l. Before they were married, she had once awoken from an afternoon nap to discover him sitting at his computer watching his online character – whom he had named Dave Barmy – having sex with an on-screen call girl.

She said: "I went mad – I was so hurt. I just couldn´t believe what he´d done. I looked at the computer screen and could see his character having sex with a female character. It´s cheating as far as I´m concerned."

.. But in April this year, she caught his character in flagrante for a second time. "I caught him cuddling a woman on a sofa in the game. It looked really affectionate," she said...

 

The day after discovering his online affair, Ms Taylor filed for divorce,..

Mr Pollard, 40, admitted he had been having an online affair with a woman from America, and the pair´s characters are now engaged in Second Life.

..but then Amy found out about it and went mad, and said ´how could you do this, you bastard?´ {#lang_emotions_scared}

 

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/..g-an-affair-in-second-life-1017946.html

 

 Well I find this incredible!  Bit like divorcing someone for reading a magazine.................

1486.       lady in red
6947 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 03:13 pm

 

Mr Pollard, 40, admitted he had been having an online affair with a woman from America, and the pair´s characters are now engaged in Second Life.

Quoting libralady

 Well I find this incredible!  Bit like divorcing someone for reading a magazine.................

 

Agreed....if it was just the game but he was having an affair with a real person  albeit it an online affair.  I think that was what his wife was ticked off about! lol

1487.       libralady
5152 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 04:28 pm

 

Quoting lady in red

Mr Pollard, 40, admitted he had been having an online affair with a woman from America, and the pair´s characters are now engaged in Second Life.

 

Agreed....if it was just the game but he was having an affair with a real person  albeit it an online affair.  I think that was what his wife was ticked off about! lol

 

 

My interpretation of an affair would be to have sex with someone in real life on a regular basis other than your regular partner - so perhaps in that case we are all guilty of having online affairs.  How many people (men) do you chat to on your MSN???  Would you call that having an affair? Not in my book 
And what a handsome couple they made.....................................

1488.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 04:34 pm

 

Quoting libralady

My interpretation of an affair would be to have sex with someone in real life on a regular basis other than your regular partner - so perhaps in that case we are all guilty of having online affairs.  How many people (men) do you chat to on your MSN???  Would you call that having an affair? Not in my book 
And what a handsome couple they made.....................................

 

Well actually I disagree with you on this one LL.  I could forgive an affair if it was just sexual attraction, but the thought of my partner getting very close to someone on MSN, thinking about them all the time, sending SMS etc., is actually worse

 

BTW for a mod, you made a right mess-up of your "quotes"

1489.       libralady
5152 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 04:54 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

Well actually I disagree with you on this one LL.  I could forgive an affair if it was just sexual attraction, but the thought of my partner getting very close to someone on MSN, thinking about them all the time, sending SMS etc., is actually worse

 

BTW for a mod, you made a right mess-up of your "quotes"

 

 I know, I could not get the content out of the boxes!

1490.       catwoman
8933 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 04:56 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

Well actually I disagree with you on this one LL.  I could forgive an affair if it was just sexual attraction, but the thought of my partner getting very close to someone on MSN, thinking about them all the time, sending SMS etc., is actually worse

 

personally, I am not sure which one is worse, but I think that a real-life thing is worse!! when something actually happens.. an online thing, or regular magazines... that is also bad, but to me, it´s one step behind from actually having an affair.

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