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Marriage in Egypt
(26 Messages in 3 pages - View all)
1 2 3
1.       Roswitha
4132 posts
 02 Mar 2008 Sun 04:57 pm

In Egypt and across the Middle East, many young people are being forced to put off marriage, the gateway to independence, sexual activity and societal respect. Marriage plays an important financial role for families and the community. Often the only savings families acquire over a lifetime is the money for their children to marry, and handing it over amounts to an intergenerational transfer of wealth. Abeer Adel, 19, and her fiancé, Amgad Muhammad, 21, looked at engagement rings and other jewelry at a shop in Cairo. The two, who are cousins, said they planned to be engaged for four years

http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2008/02/16/world/20080217EGYPT_index.html

2.       catwoman
8933 posts
 02 Mar 2008 Sun 07:40 pm

Roswitha, how is this related to Turkey?

3.       peacetrain
1905 posts
 02 Mar 2008 Sun 08:07 pm

It is in the general/off topic section

4.       catwoman
8933 posts
 02 Mar 2008 Sun 08:12 pm

that's not where Ros put it though.

5.       peacetrain
1905 posts
 02 Mar 2008 Sun 08:23 pm

ok I realised some of her threads have been relocated

6.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 03 Mar 2008 Mon 07:52 pm

Quoting Roswitha:

In Egypt and across the Middle East, many young people are being forced to put off marriage, the gateway to independence, sexual activity and societal respect. Marriage plays an important financial role for families and the community. Often the only savings families acquire over a lifetime is the money for their children to marry, and handing it over amounts to an intergenerational transfer of wealth. Abeer Adel, 19, and her fiancé, Amgad Muhammad, 21, looked at engagement rings and other jewelry at a shop in Cairo. The two, who are cousins, said they planned to be engaged for four years

http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2008/02/16/world/20080217EGYPT_index.html



In any case, some of these brides are 17 or just barely adults....I don't see how waiting a few years is such a crisis.

7.       catwoman
8933 posts
 03 Mar 2008 Mon 08:26 pm

Quoting Elisabeth:

In any case, some of these brides are 17 or just barely adults....I don't see how waiting a few years is such a crisis.


you are clearly an evil westerner lol lol lol

8.       CANLI
5084 posts
 04 Mar 2008 Tue 12:33 am

Quoting Elisabeth:



In any case, some of these brides are 17 or just barely adults....I don't see how waiting a few years is such a crisis.


Of course its not a crisis,just needs good logic and judgment which those who marry early lack them ,in my opinion of course!
But normally they dont get married in that age tho,except if they come from a very poor and non educated environment,but other than that,they marry at their twenties,engagement here can take few years, from 1 to 5 yrs of even more depends on their economical stiuations.
The regular marriage age between girls here almost from 23,24 till 30th
And its getting later for more girls tend to work and settle their careers first before marrige.

9.       CANLI
5084 posts
 04 Mar 2008 Tue 12:36 am

Quoting catwoman:

Quoting Elisabeth:

In any case, some of these brides are 17 or just barely adults....I don't see how waiting a few years is such a crisis.


you are clearly an evil westerner lol lol lol


Tell that to the WESTERN teeagers mothers also

10.       alameda
3499 posts
 04 Mar 2008 Tue 08:19 pm

Quoting Elisabeth:

Quoting Roswitha:

In Egypt and across the Middle East, many young people are being forced to put off marriage, the gateway to independence, sexual activity and societal respect. Marriage plays an important financial role for families and the community. Often the only savings families acquire over a lifetime is the money for their children to marry, and handing it over amounts to an intergenerational transfer of wealth. Abeer Adel, 19, and her fiancé, Amgad Muhammad, 21, looked at engagement rings and other jewelry at a shop in Cairo. The two, who are cousins, said they planned to be engaged for four years

http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2008/02/16/world/20080217EGYPT_index.html



In any case, some of these brides are 17 or just barely adults....I don't see how waiting a few years is such a crisis.



It's easier to have babies when you are young than when you are older and your bones and ligaments become more rigid. Like it or not, anatomy has a LOT to do with destiny.

Just because a woman gets married young is no reason her education has to finish. I know a couple who got married young, the wife is now finishing her phd.

11.       teaschip
3870 posts
 04 Mar 2008 Tue 08:22 pm

I think marriage and having kids should come later in life. Women are having kids in their late 40's, isn't abnormal anymore. Couples are usually settled down by then, have learned patience and are more likely to be financially securer.

12.       alameda
3499 posts
 04 Mar 2008 Tue 08:36 pm

Quoting teaschip1:

I think marriage and having kids should come later in life. Women are having kids in their late 40's, isn't abnormal anymore. Couples are usually settled down by then, have learned patience and are more likely to be financially securer.



Yes, and it makes a nice industry for the fertility clinics too.

Although one CAN/maybe have babies later, the fact of the matter is the body is better prepared when one is young and flexible. Yes, there are test that can be done, proceedures that can be done, however the prospect of serious problems increases with the age of both the man and woman.

With waiting to bear children later in life, particularly after the age of 40 (when most women are becoming grandmothers) the prospect of having a Caesarean section is increased.

Risks
Statistics from the 1990s suggest that less than one woman in 2,500 who has a caesarean section will die, compared to a rate of one in 10,000 for a vaginal delivery.[10] However the mortality rate for both continues to drop steadily. The UK National Health Service gives the risk of death for the mother as three times that of a vaginal birth.[11] However, it is misleading to directly compare the mortality rates of vaginal and caesarean deliveries. Women with severe medical disease often require a caesarean section which can distort the mortality figures.

A study published in the 13 February 2007 issue of the Canadian Medical Association Journal found that women that have planned caesareans had an overall rate of severe morbidity of 27.3 per 1000 deliveries compared to an overall rate of severe morbidity of 9.0 per 1000 planned vaginal deliveries. The planned caesarean group had increased risks of cardiac arrest, wound haematoma, hysterectomy, major puerperal infection, anaesthetic complications, venous thromboembolism, and haemorrhage requiring hysterectomy over those suffered by the planned vaginal delivery group. Again, these figures can be significantly distorted given that women with severe health conditions are more likely to preschedule births by caesarean.

A study published in the February 2007 issue of the journal Obstetrics and Gynecology found that women who had just one previous caesarean section were more likely to have problems with their second birth. Women who delivered their first child by caesarean delivery had increased risks for malpresentation, placenta previa, antepartum hemorrhage, placenta accreta, prolonged labor, uterine rupture, preterm birth, low birth weight, and stillbirth in their second delivery.

A study published in the June 2006 issue of the journal Obstetrics and Gynecology found that women who had multiple caesarean sections were more likely to have problems with later pregnancies, and recommended that women who want larger families should not seek caesarean section as an elective. The risk of placenta accreta, a potentially life-threatening condition, is only 0.13% after two c-sections but increases to 2.13% after four and then to 6.74% after six or more surgeries. Along with this is a similar rise in the risk of emergency hysterectomies at delivery. The findings were based on outcomes from 30,132 caesarean deliveries.

A caesarean section is a major operation, with all that it entails, including the risk of post-operative adhesions. Pain at the incision can be intense, and full recovery of mobility can take several weeks or more. A prior caesarean section increases the risk of uterine rupture during subsequent labour.

If a caesarean is performed under emergency situations, the risk of the surgery may be increased due to a number of factors. The patient's stomach may not be empty, increasing the anesthesia risk.


...............and that's just a start of risks associated with waiting until 40 to start....

13.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 04 Mar 2008 Tue 08:47 pm

Quoting alameda:

Quoting Elisabeth:

Quoting Roswitha:

In Egypt and across the Middle East, many young people are being forced to put off marriage, the gateway to independence, sexual activity and societal respect. Marriage plays an important financial role for families and the community. Often the only savings families acquire over a lifetime is the money for their children to marry, and handing it over amounts to an intergenerational transfer of wealth. Abeer Adel, 19, and her fiancé, Amgad Muhammad, 21, looked at engagement rings and other jewelry at a shop in Cairo. The two, who are cousins, said they planned to be engaged for four years

http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2008/02/16/world/20080217EGYPT_index.html



In any case, some of these brides are 17 or just barely adults....I don't see how waiting a few years is such a crisis.



It's easier to have babies when you are young than when you are older and your bones and ligaments become more rigid. Like it or not, anatomy has a LOT to do with destiny.

Just because a woman gets married young is no reason her education has to finish. I know a couple who got married young, the wife is now finishing her phd.



It is extremely prejudicial of you to make the judgement that having babies when you are younger is easier. In the modern western world...being married at 17 or even at 25 is too young...I didn't even finished with my studies until I was 30!! Now that I am a bit older, I feel ready to have a baby. When I had my son 10 years ago, I wasn't half as settled as I am now. Physically, I am in the best shape of my life (Thank God for yoga!!). I eat better (because I can afford to!), I don't smoke anymore, I rarely drink (because my party days are behind me)....believe me, for some of us this is the best time of our lives!!

14.       teaschip
3870 posts
 04 Mar 2008 Tue 08:50 pm

Any pregnancy is a "risk" no matter what age you are. Yes, the older you get the risk is higher. However, with age comes maturity, responsiblity and financial stability with goes along way in raising children. My mother was 38 when she had my younger brother and both parents agreed if they had to do it over again, they would have waited to have kids when they were in their mid 30's compared to early 20's.

15.       alameda
3499 posts
 04 Mar 2008 Tue 09:41 pm

Quoting teaschip1:

Any pregnancy is a "risk" no matter what age you are. Yes, the older you get the risk is higher. However, with age comes maturity, responsiblity and financial stability with goes along way in raising children. My mother was 38 when she had my younger brother and both parents agreed if they had to do it over again, they would have waited to have kids when they were in their mid 30's compared to early 20's.



Teaschip...note your earlier message:

"I think marriage and having kids should come later in life. Women are having kids in their late 40's, isn't abnormal anymore. Couples are usually settled down by then, have learned patience and are more likely to be financially securer."

You state your mother was 38 when she had your younger brother...that is not the same thing as starting at 38............and the older you are the older your eggs are....the more pollutants they have been exposed to....of course you can have the fetus tested and abort it if something is wrong....is that desirable?

Then the risk of ectopic pregnacy is also increased.


All in all, have a baby whenever you want. My point is there are advantages to having them young rather than older.....and there are advantages to having then older. Don't fool yourself though. Sometimes one can wait too long. What is the saying "strike while the iron is hot"

16.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 04 Mar 2008 Tue 09:56 pm

Well, I got news for you missy! My iron is plenty hot!!

17.       teaschip
3870 posts
 04 Mar 2008 Tue 10:03 pm

Quoting alameda:

Quoting teaschip1:

Any pregnancy is a "risk" no matter what age you are. Yes, the older you get the risk is higher. However, with age comes maturity, responsiblity and financial stability with goes along way in raising children. My mother was 38 when she had my younger brother and both parents agreed if they had to do it over again, they would have waited to have kids when they were in their mid 30's compared to early 20's.



Teaschip...note your earlier message:

"I think marriage and having kids should come later in life. Women are having kids in their late 40's, isn't abnormal anymore. Couples are usually settled down by then, have learned patience and are more likely to be financially securer."

You state your mother was 38 when she had your younger brother...that is not the same thing as starting at 38............and the older you are the older your eggs are....the more pollutants they have been exposed to....of course you can have the fetus tested and abort it if something is wrong....is that desirable?

Then the risk of ectopic pregnacy is also increased.


All in all, have a baby whenever you want. My point is there are advantages to having them young rather than older.....and there are advantages to having then older. Don't fool yourself though. Sometimes one can wait too long. What is the saying "strike while the iron is hot"



Almada this is what drive me nuts..when did I say in my original post anything about my mother. I only referenced her later on... Strike while the Iron is Hot..hehehehe

18.       azade
1606 posts
 04 Mar 2008 Tue 10:05 pm

These days people's lives and situations vary so much it's impossible to say when the right time to settle a family is. Sure I can see that it's best to have be financially stable first which most people won't be until years after ended education but I am personally very happy that growing up my parents were young (they were 19 and 21 when I was born) and they never struggled financially because of me. Myself, I would love to have a child now but also understand that it's not the time as I (especially after seeing the lives of the majority of turkish children) want to give them the best childhood and possibilities as can be.

19.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 04 Mar 2008 Tue 10:10 pm

Quoting azade:

These days people's lives and situations vary so much it's impossible to say when the right time to settle a family is. Sure I can see that it's best to have be financially stable first which most people won't be until years after ended education but I am personally very happy that growing up my parents were young (they were 19 and 21 when I was born) and they never struggled financially because of me. Myself, I would love to have a child now but also understand that it's not the time as I (especially after seeing the lives of the majority of turkish children) want to give them the best childhood and possibilities as can be.



azade....I hope your iron stays hot for many years to come!

20.       teaschip
3870 posts
 04 Mar 2008 Tue 10:14 pm

Quoting azade:

These days people's lives and situations vary so much it's impossible to say when the right time to settle a family is. Sure I can see that it's best to have be financially stable first which most people won't be until years after ended education but I am personally very happy that growing up my parents were young (they were 19 and 21 when I was born) and they never struggled financially because of me. Myself, I would love to have a child now but also understand that it's not the time as I (especially after seeing the lives of the majority of turkish children) want to give them the best childhood and possibilities as can be.



Sounds very logical...

21.       alameda
3499 posts
 04 Mar 2008 Tue 10:30 pm

Quoting teaschip1:

................Almada this is what drive me nuts..when did I say in my original post anything about my mother. I only referenced her later on... Strike while the Iron is Hot..hehehehe



Hey, have them whenever you want to...but too many young women have been misled into thinking they can put it off and off and off with no realistic insite on just what is and is not possible, and what is to be the expected outcome of waiting.

We have a tendancy believe in Science to an absurd degree. Although I respect science, often times all the facts are not revealed. Did you know that invitro fertilization has more possibilities of producing a chimera or intersex child?....

chimera

22.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 04 Mar 2008 Tue 10:57 pm

Quoting alameda:

Quoting teaschip1:

................Almada this is what drive me nuts..when did I say in my original post anything about my mother. I only referenced her later on... Strike while the Iron is Hot..hehehehe



Hey, have them whenever you want to...but too many young women have been misled into thinking they can put it off and off and off with no realistic insite on just what is and is not possible, and what is to be the expected outcome of waiting.

We have a tendancy believe in Science to an absurd degree. Although I respect science, often times all the facts are not revealed. Did you know that invitro fertilization has more possibilities of producing a chimera or intersex child?....

chimera



There are a many benefits to having a child later in life too, Alameda. If you would rather be the voice of gloom and doom, fine. But just because you put off having a baby for a few years doesn't mean anything will go wrong. Statistically, you are pointing out a very small percentage of things that can go wrong and making it seem like there is IMMINENT danger. The fact is, if a mother is healthy she will probably give birth to a healthy child.

23.       CANLI
5084 posts
 04 Mar 2008 Tue 11:11 pm

True Lisa,but to some degree,i mean end of 40th not like end of 30th not like end of 20th

24.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 04 Mar 2008 Tue 11:21 pm

Quoting CANLI:

True Lisa,but to some degree,i mean end of 40th not like end of 30th not like end of 20th



I think having a baby in your late 40s is a bit extreme...and for me personally...a bit distressing to say the least! Imagine going to your childs high school graduation and you are in your 60s!

25.       CANLI
5084 posts
 04 Mar 2008 Tue 11:28 pm

Quoting Elisabeth:


Imagine going to your childs high school graduation and you are in your 60s!


Nor in your 4os and you draw all people's attentions to you,''is she your mothers?''
He wouldnt appreciate it lol

26.       Daydreamer
3743 posts
 05 Mar 2008 Wed 12:25 pm

Biologically it is probably best to have a child in your early twenties, however, mentally and financially it is probably better to wait. My primary school friends have had babies at different stages of their lives - some had children as early as 17, some are still waiting. Those who had children at 17 now have 12-year-olds are are quite happy to be 30 and free to enjoy their free time with big children not demanding so much care. Those who had kids this or last year are more than happy to pay all their attention to their children as they planned them carefully, had enough money to do that, are not as dependant on other people's help as those seventeens. I've decided to have a child at 30 because I wasn't ready earlier.

I think it is how ready you are that sets the proper time. It doesn't matter if you're 20 or 40. If there are no medical restrictions then you should enjoy motherhood. I don't think anybody looks down on 40-year-old mothers anymore.

I remember I saw a tv program on a woman who wanted to have a child in her 60s. Call me ageist, but that's a bit too late for me.

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