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INSTALLING YOUR HUSBAND
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1. |
10 Mar 2008 Mon 12:04 am |
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
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DEAR DESPERATE,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
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2. |
10 Mar 2008 Mon 12:26 am |
Cute....thanks...
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3. |
10 Mar 2008 Mon 12:40 am |
Quoting AlphaF:
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
***
DEAR DESPERATE,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
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Dear Tech Support,
You were right. The applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5 did kick in automatically. Unfortunately they were not alone and I can't buy a darned thing online because of the tracking cookies. I tried to rectify this by installing the 2002 version of the "you can iron your own shirts 4.0" software but this was over-ridden by the 2008 version of "I don't care say hello to the au pair 8.8"
I need help fast as I am in danger of being rebooted. Please reply via email to desparrot.wifey@boohoo.com
Hurry please.
Yours hysterically
Desparate
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4. |
10 Mar 2008 Mon 04:13 am |
Ok boys...let's try this...
: >
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FA71gM2cCYE
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5. |
10 Mar 2008 Mon 05:03 am |
Very nice, PT !
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7. |
10 Mar 2008 Mon 11:13 pm |
Quoting AlphaF: We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
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sure! men..!
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8. |
10 Mar 2008 Mon 11:23 pm |
Dear Tech Support,
Your standard of service is lousy. I am running out of patience.
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9. |
11 Mar 2008 Tue 12:39 am |
Quoting peace train: Dear Tech Support,
Your standard of service is lousy. I am running out of patience. |
Maybe you should take husband 1.0 back to where you got it and try to get a new one...
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10. |
11 Mar 2008 Tue 01:32 am |
Quoting KeithL: Quoting peace train: Dear Tech Support,
Your standard of service is lousy. I am running out of patience. |
Maybe you should take husband 1.0 back to where you got it and try to get a new one... |
erm . . . I just remembered something . . .I don't actually have a husband . . . I donated him to the Help the Aged charity shop many moons ago, because he became obsolete. I think I had an Amstrad PC in those days.
OK I will revise my correspondence . . .
Dear Dateline,
. . .
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11. |
11 Mar 2008 Tue 01:42 am |
Why not just let the whole damn thing crash and then have it cleaned up, virus-scanned by skilled hands? Then reboot, sit back and enjoy!
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12. |
11 Mar 2008 Tue 01:46 am |
Quoting Deli_kizin: Why not just let the whole damn thing crash and then have it cleaned up, virus-scanned by skilled hands? Then reboot, sit back and enjoy! |
Careful DK, Careful . . .Tech Support will be asking for extra payment.
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