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WOMEN TRAVELERS IN TURKEY – TO SMILE OR NOT TO SMILE?
(62 Messages in 7 pages - View all)
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20.       ramayan
2633 posts
 06 Apr 2006 Thu 12:50 pm

Quoting sophie:

Quoting mltm:


Yes, beyond culture, it's also something about personality and character.



Yes, it's more about personality than it is about culture. And so is the reaction that you will get. If the person you smile to is narrow minded of course s/he ll never understand that you are just being friendly and polite. Not immoral.



totally agree with u...if they are fool and misunderstand u..its their problem..behave how u r

21.       mltm
3690 posts
 06 Apr 2006 Thu 02:48 pm

Altough I agreed that it's also about personality, somehow you have to adapt yourself to the people around and consider their thoughts and manners as well. If I feel that I'm gonna receive something I wouldn't want, I try to avoid that condition normally, I can't just say that it's their problem. Adapting myself to them doesn't mean that I value their thoughts, it's just for feeling better and not getting disturbed.
Just for same reasons I don't wear very attractive clothes while wandering around in some parts of İstanbul where I know that I'll get a reaction which will disturb me and even I'll get harasses, but there're places where I can dress like that without really being disturbed. Holiday resort places are very different than the real social life. it's not just about ourselves, it depends to the people around us as well.
Yes, unfortunately being especially a modern girl in Türkiye is not so easy. Usually you have to consider your sexual identity or they make you consider it.

22.       Deli_kizin
6376 posts
 06 Apr 2006 Thu 04:52 pm

Quoting mltm:

Altough I agreed that it's also about personality, somehow you have to adapt yourself to the people around and consider their thoughts and manners as well. If I feel that I'm gonna receive something I wouldn't want, I try to avoid that condition normally, I can't just say that it's their problem. Adapting myself to them doesn't mean that I value their thoughts, it's just for feeling better and not getting disturbed.
Just for same reasons I don't wear very attractive clothes while wandering around in some parts of İstanbul where I know that I'll get a reaction which will disturb me and even I'll get harasses, but there're places where I can dress like that without really being disturbed. Holiday resort places are very different than the real social life. it's not just about ourselves, it depends to the people around us as well.
Yes, unfortunately being especially a modern girl in Türkiye is not so easy. Usually you have to consider your sexual identity or they make you consider it.



I totally agree with Meltem.
It's not only their sick minds that are guilty, also the thing that feeds them is guilty. So if you don't want to get (negative sexual) attention, then dress like that.

I'm not talking about smiling around, because i'm not sure what i think of that. In Holland we say:
"Wie goed doet, goed ontmoet". It means "who acts well towards others, will receive that same goodness" (this is not literally translated as it doesn't really translate that well). But apparantly in Türkiye it doesn't work like that for smiling yet.

23.       deli
5904 posts
 06 Apr 2006 Thu 05:18 pm




sorry peeps couldnt resist doing this and i for one will continue to smile, i cant help but smile when in turkey its my heaven on earth, but maybe i will try not to smile at everybody ,but its so natural for me, even in my own country when i walk by people in the street i usually wish them good day and smile ,we english are told some many times that we are very reserved, but this dosent apply to me , only problem with smiling is it brings on the wrinkles quicker

Laila65 liked this message
24.       sophie
2712 posts
 06 Apr 2006 Thu 07:08 pm

Quoting Deli_kizin:

"who acts well towards others, will receive that same goodness".



This is exactly what I am saying. I have wandered in many turkish cities so many times, always finding a reason to chat for and people to smile to, and never (and I mean NEVER) got a negative response. Only once, last month, I visited Kapalı Çarsı in a really bad mood, asking about what i wanted to buy in a very serious way and it was the first time i saw numb people and straight faces around me.

So, I don't agree with you, where you say that this doesn't work for Turkey yet. A warm smile works everywhere and softens even the most moody faces.

Meltem has mixed a little bit this warm smile I am talking about, with the stupid laugh of some women. I don't mean that you have to humiliate yourself by laughing like an idiot to anybody. I m talking about that kind of smile that is polite and warm. It doesn't say "flirt me I m easy". It says "hello, it's a beautiful day, isn't it?"

25.       mltm
3690 posts
 06 Apr 2006 Thu 07:40 pm

Quoting sophie:


Meltem has mixed a little bit this warm smile I am talking about, with the stupid laugh of some women. I don't mean that you have to humiliate yourself by laughing like an idiot to anybody. I m talking about that kind of smile that is polite and warm. It doesn't say "flirt me I m easy". It says "hello, it's a beautiful day, isn't it?"


Hehe no, no, I'm not talking about that stupid smile either . And by being serious, I wasn't talking about being rude and sulky. I was just saying that there're some occasions where I find it more useful not to be equally friendly with some other occasions. But I agree that smiling at a degree always leaves a much positive impression.

26.       Deli_kizin
6376 posts
 06 Apr 2006 Thu 10:09 pm

Quoting sophie:

Quoting Deli_kizin:

I m talking about that kind of smile that is polite and warm. It doesn't say "flirt me I m easy". It says "hello, it's a beautiful day, isn't it?"



How i'd like to see you smile

Yeah you're right. I dunnow, i will give a proper meaning once i live there Becuase i think that will be different from being on holiday i suppose.
I don't want people to look at us, thinking I'm an easy european girl and that he's nothing but a horny man. To be honest that's the only thing I'm kinda afraid of. On the other hand, maybe that's me being shortsighted thinking they will think that..

So I think I'll go for the Izmir-look: sunglasses, handbag, walking straight forward. And i'll smile when i order delicious baklava and fresh grapefruit juice

27.       Boop
785 posts
 07 Apr 2006 Fri 11:14 am

My advice would be just be natural - and if you are naturally a warm and smiley person - behave as normal.
If this is misinterpreted maybe adjust accordingly - every person is different - every culture is different.....go with the flow

28.       ramayan
2633 posts
 07 Apr 2006 Fri 11:40 am

as a man i have few words..i never behave a woman as a bitch if she smiles me...its same everywer...between kind smile and meaningful ones der r great differencies...everybody can seperate it..a smiling face is better than a face with sun glasses and sullen face..a smile better than a laughter..u should never chance urself...just be kind and careful..if other misunderstands u ,u can change ur manner...and i think nobody is fool..no need to tell wad kind of smiles and laughters they are...

it is a kind of mirror..u will find urself on others face..if u see urself worse or so better there must be a problem with that mirror...(very philosophical words ummmm i cant believe myself heheheh )

im fond of smiling...i love smiling...i love smiling ones...lets smile

29.       damla
129 posts
 07 Apr 2006 Fri 01:15 pm

Quoting ramayan:

as a man i have few words..i never behave a woman as a bitch if she smiles me...its same everywer...between kind smile and meaningful ones der r great differencies...everybody can seperate it..a smiling face is better than a face with sun glasses and sullen face..a smile better than a laughter..u should never chance urself...just be kind and careful..if other misunderstands u ,u can change ur manner...and i think nobody is fool..no need to tell wad kind of smiles and laughters they are...

it is a kind of mirror..u will find urself on others face..if u see urself worse or so better there must be a problem with that mirror...(very philosophical words ummmm i cant believe myself heheheh )

im fond of smiling...i love smiling...i love smiling ones...lets smile



Yeah absolutely like this.I love smiling and nobody understands me wrong.It is so stupid to think like that.

30.       mltm
3690 posts
 07 Apr 2006 Fri 05:12 pm

Nobody is telling that smiling is a bad thing. I try to smile and be kind as much as possible during my interactions with people, but was just trying to tell that sometimes there're some social conditions in Turkey different than in Europe which no one can deny I'm sure. And it counts for the behaviours of females and how they are welcomed as well.
It was just some information for foreigners (especially female ones who travel alone) to make them aware of somethings, and as the article also points out, there should be some truth in it.
Anyway turkish people are very very friendly as you know

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