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What made you laugh today?
(1027 Messages in 103 pages - View all)
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60.       doudi94
845 posts
 22 Sep 2008 Mon 12:30 pm

PETER KAY´S UNIVERSAL TRUTHS

Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

You never know where to look when eating a banana.

You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

 

 

 

SOME GREAT QUESTIONS BROUGHT TO YOU BY PETER KAY

Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

Why can´t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, ´My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic´?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why does mineral water that ´has trickled through mountains for centuries have a ´use by´ date?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ´I think I´llsqueeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out´?

What do people in China call their good quality plates?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don´t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

What do you call male ballerinas?

Why is a person that handles your money called a ´Broker´?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure.

 

 

Makes ou think, doesnt it??

61.       doudi94
845 posts
 22 Sep 2008 Mon 01:01 pm

                                Hazardous materials data sheet

 

 

Element>>>>> woman

Discoverer>>>Adam

Atomic Mass >>>> Accepted as 55 kg but known to vary from 45kg to 225 kg

 

Physical properties

 

1- Body surface usually covered with film of powders and paint

2-Boils at absoloutley nothing-freezes for no aparent reason

3-Found in various grades ranging from virgin materil to common ore

 

Chemical properties

 

1-Reacts well to gold, platinum and all precious stones

2-Explodes spontaneously without reason or warning

3-The most powerful money reducing agent known to man

 

Common Use

 

1-Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars

2-Can greatly aid relaxation

3-Can be very effective cleaning agent

 

Hazards

 

1-Turns green when placed alongside a superior specimen

2-Possession of more than one is possible but specimens must never make eye contact

 

 

 

 

 

Hows that for a chemistry lesson??

62.       lady in red
6947 posts
 22 Sep 2008 Mon 06:37 pm

Thanks doudi - I needed a good laugh! {#lang_emotions_flowers}

63.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 22 Sep 2008 Mon 11:43 pm

Topics which shall not be named...{#lang_emotions_lol_fast}

64.       Trudy
7887 posts
 29 Sep 2008 Mon 08:49 pm

Yes! We can hover again! lol lol

65.       WarTrain
325 posts
 29 Sep 2008 Mon 10:18 pm

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when a tall, exceptionally handsome, man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.

The man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her and whispered to her, ´I´ll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00...... On  one condition´

 

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition Was. The man replied, ´You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.´

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, And then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, Which she pressed into the man´s hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said....

´Clean my house.´

 

66.       WarTrain
325 posts
 29 Sep 2008 Mon 10:24 pm

For you bed amerikens

 

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=i0qB-F6HqME

 

67.       catwoman
8933 posts
 29 Sep 2008 Mon 10:25 pm

 

Quoting Trudy

Yes! We can hover again! lol lol

 

This made you laugh Trudy? {#lang_emotions_unsure}

68.       Trudy
7887 posts
 29 Sep 2008 Mon 10:30 pm

 

Quoting catwoman

This made you laugh Trudy? {#lang_emotions_unsure}

 

Of course. Being able to keep an eye on all the ´sneaky´ plans of you mods and admins makes me laugh. It exactly fits into Elisabeth´s plan..... lol lol

69.       WarTrain
325 posts
 29 Sep 2008 Mon 10:32 pm

 

Quoting Trudy

It exactly fits into Elisabeth´s plan..... lol lol

 

 lol lol lol

70.       catwoman
8933 posts
 29 Sep 2008 Mon 10:38 pm

well Trudy, that option will be soon disabled and I will be laughing last! {#lang_emotions_laugh_at}

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