|
"My husband passed away nearly one year ago. I am trying to continue my life as a widow. My friends turned their back on me after my husband´s death. Even my neighbors, with whom we had close ties for years, cut off communication with me after I became a widow. What hurts me more than being left alone in life is gossip in my neighborhood about me."
Those words belong to Semra Tunçbüken, a widow trying to stand erect in life despite many challenging difficulties. She says she´s overwhelmed by a series of problems, but what saddens her most is the prejudice she experiences as a widow and thus as a "potential threat" to other women, who fear widows may break up their families.
Halime Güner from Uçan Süpürge (Flying Broom), one of Turkey´s leading feminist organizations, told Sunday´s Zaman that there is widespread prejudice against widows and divorced women in Turkey. "Conservative family ties are very strong in Turkey. There is widespread prejudice against widows or divorced women. Many see them as a threat to their families.
These women, however, are faced with multiple difficulties. On the one hand, they are trying to continue their lives despite all the difficulties, and on the other, they are trying to overcome this prejudice," she stated.
Ayça Özdoğan from Boşanmış Anneler (Divorced Mothers), a civil society organization that helps divorced women with children, agreed, adding that social prejudice against widows and divorced women make their already heavy burdens even heavier. "Widows are deemed to be pitied or excluded from society. The objective of our association is to change this societal attitude," stated Özdoğan.
The difficult situation faced by Turkey´s widows and divorced women was corroborated by a recent report released by a US-based research organization. According to the report, released on June 23 by WorldPublicOpinion.org, millions of women in many parts of the world are facing discrimination and abuse simply because they happen to be either widows or divorced.
The report revealed that Turkey was second after South Korea in terms of discrimination against widows. According to the report, 70 percent of the general population in Turkey thinks that widows face discrimination.
Divorced women in Turkey fare no better than widows. According to the report, 72 percent of Turkish people believe divorced women are subjected to poor treatment in society.
"There is considerable pressure on widows and divorced women in our society. These women are expected to stay in their homes and isolate themselves from the outer world so that no rumors about them arise. Such psychological pressure makes their situation even more difficult. When these women are challenged by economic problems, they withdraw into their own shells," said Güner.
Güner went on to say that some widows and divorced women are making a big mistake by retiring from the world. "They don´t realize that that life can still begin anew after they become widows. They should exert their utmost to cling to life instead of withdrawing into their shells," she stated.
Do children make life more difficult for widows?
If there is something more difficult for a widow or a divorced woman than being left without a partner in life, then it is being left with a child who needs constant care. When asked what widows should do to raise their children as healthy individuals, Güner stressed that these women should teach their children that they can be happy no matter what happens in life.
"Divorced women, in particular, should tell their children that they will be happier in life after the divorce of their parents. There is no doubt that children will be happier living with one of their parents in a peaceful atmosphere than leading a life in which their parents are together, but have frequent quarrels. In this way, children of divorced couples will see their parents as two separate but happy and peaceful people who will contribute to their children being raised as healthy individuals.
Boşanmış Anneler´s Özdoğan regrets that there aren´t more organizations in Turkey that can help widows or divorced women. "The divorce rate in our country has increased rapidly over the past few years. Around 60 percent of divorced couples have children. The main objective of our association is to give assistance to women with children who don´t have a partner in life any more," she said.
A report released in late June by the Turkish Statistics Institute (TurkStat) showed that a total of 94,219 people got divorced last year, slightly up from 93,489 in 2006. The divorce rate was highest in the Aegean region, followed by the Marmara region and western Anatolia. According to the report, 41 percent of couples that get divorced do so in the first five years of marriage, while just 22.5 percent get divorced after 16 years of marriage.
What to do to improve women’s position in society
Fatma Benli, head of the Women´s Rights Association against Discrimination (AK-DER), stated that not only widows and divorced women but almost all females in society are subjected to some sort of discrimination.
"It is not possible to say that only widows or divorced women are subject to discrimination or prejudice in society. Other women complain about similar problems as well. If we want to improve the position of women in the society, then we need to make people accept the fact that women are equal to men," she said.
She also said that women´s position in Turkey is not promising. She noted that only one-quarter of all women in Turkey participate in the labor force, that more than 5 million women are illiterate and that one out of every three women experiences domestic violence. She added that there are only 38 shelters in Turkey for women.
Benli, stressing that women and men have been equal under the law since the first years of the republic, noted that the essential point in changing prejudice against women is to make laws be duly implemented.
"It is not important to make amendments on laws to improve women´s position in society. The amendments are just words. The important point is to change society´s point of view regarding women. We should make everybody understand that women are individuals who are equal to men and who have inalienable rights. Then we should do what is necessary to make women have better positions in the society. We should offer them a good education and professional opportunities. In this way, they will become stronger individuals who can stand on their own feet," she stated.
Source: www.todayszaman.com
|
