I want to let you know how horrible I feel about last night.  I feel horrible that it was not you getting engaged last night.  You deserve to be the happy girl with the lucky guy.  You deserve to be treated like a queen, because that is what you are.  I know you had to wish that was you last night.  My heart breaks to see you sad, and I wonder if you can forgive me for being the one who makes you sad.  You deserve to be held and loved all of the time not just a few hours each night at your brother in laws house.  I so wish I could always be here with you.  I am sorry I cannot.  I am heart broken that I cannot.  I hope we can always have what we do now but I also hope that someone deserving of you will come along and sweep you off your feet in love.  I know it will make me jealous but I know it is what you deserve, a happy life.  xxxx, I love you and always will, I am so sorry for being the source of pain in your life.  I have always wanted to be the joy.  My love for you shall never die.