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I want to let you know how horrible I feel about last night. I feel horrible that it was not you getting engaged last night. You deserve to be the happy girl with the lucky guy. You deserve to be treated like a queen, because that is what you are. I know you had to wish that was you last night. My heart breaks to see you sad, and I wonder if you can forgive me for being the one who makes you sad. You deserve to be held and loved all of the time not just a few hours each night at your brother in laws house. I so wish I could always be here with you. I am sorry I cannot. I am heart broken that I cannot. I hope we can always have what we do now but I also hope that someone deserving of you will come along and sweep you off your feet in love. I know it will make me jealous but I know it is what you deserve, a happy life. xxxx, I love you and always will, I am so sorry for being the source of pain in your life. I have always wanted to be the joy. My love for you shall never die.
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