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Best Age to get married?
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1.       yilgun-7
1326 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 02:43 am

Is there an ideal age for first marriage?


Is the growing trend of young people waiting longer to get married a good thing?


Average marriage age?


Why single guys fear commitment?


Why the love era ends with marriage?


The phenomenon.


What do you think?

2.       catwoman
8933 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 02:52 am

I think that marriage is not really necessary these days! What´s the point of it... other then to please the parents?

3.       CANLI
5084 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 03:07 am

 

Quoting catwoman

I think that marriage is not really necessary these days! What´s the point of it... other then to please the parents?

 

 Ãnteresting concept .

Cant wait to hear the others´ opinions about it!

4.       catwoman
8933 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 03:13 am

 

Quoting CANLI

 Ãnteresting concept .

Cant wait to hear the others´ opinions about it!

 

And what is YOUR opinion Canli?

5.       Trudy
7887 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 07:39 am

Best age? None.

6.       bod
5999 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 10:40 am

 

Quoting catwoman

I think that marriage is not really necessary these days! What´s the point of it... other then to please the parents?

 

There are financial and security reasons as well as pleasing the parents........

But I tend to agree - mostly marriage is not necessary.

 

I´ve been there, done that and will never go there again without very good reason.

7.       gOrgeOus
9 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 10:51 am

It´s hard to put a number on it... When both people are mature and responsible enough to handle marriage.

 

I would say 24-27 for girls and 26-30 for guys, but it changes from person to person.

 

I will say that when I meet a guy over 35 who isn´t married I wonder what´s wrong with him. {#lang_emotions_noway}

8.       libralady
5152 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 11:53 am

Quote:

I think that marriage is not really necessary these days! What´s the point of it... other then to please the parents?

 

Quoting bod

There are financial and security reasons as well as pleasing the parents........

But I tend to agree - mostly marriage is not necessary.

 

I´ve been there, done that and will never go there again without very good reason.

 

 I am of the same opinion to both of the above, although I have been married for many years, I would not get married a second time, and in my day, it was always very much to please the parents.  Living together was not really an option then.

 

 

9.       Daydreamer
3743 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 12:02 pm

There isn´t a best age for marriage. people do it these days when and if they want it and that differs from person to person. I got married at 23 and I think it was too soon, today I see that the only thing marriage is useful for is taxes Living together is far less complicated and marriage does not change anything - each side may leave anyway

10.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 12:06 pm

Getting married is a great excuse for a party.  I notice that the bigger the party, the quicker the marriage fails.  Maybe it is because of all the debt they leave themselves in, paying for the elaborate big showing off wedding

 

I have no thoughts on this really - get married or not, whatever you want

11.       bod
5999 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 12:08 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

I have no thoughts on this really

 Blimey - that must be a first for AEnigma lol

 

12.       cedars
235 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 12:08 pm

 

Quoting catwoman

I think that marriage is not really necessary these days! What´s the point of it... other then to please the parents?

 

Marriage is just a contract to legally bind two people.

Just like any other contract (business for example) it is useful in case of dispute.  Imagine people doing business noawadays and dont sign contracts! they will kill each other in case of dispute

 

That´s from the administrative point of view, now as to the ceremony itself, I find it is lots of fun. We get to eat great food, dance and share our joy with loved ones.

I just love marriages

 

13.       bod
5999 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 12:10 pm

 

Quoting cedars

........now as to the ceremony itself, I find it is lots of fun. We get to eat great food, dance and share our joy with loved ones.

I just love marriages

 

 So exactly how many times have you been married cedars ???

14.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 12:12 pm

 

Quoting bod

 Blimey - that must be a first for AEnigma lol

 

 

15.       libralady
5152 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 01:44 pm

 

Quoting cedars

Marriage is just a contract to legally bind two people.

Just like any other contract (business for example) it is useful in case of dispute.  Imagine people doing business noawadays and dont sign contracts! they will kill each other in case of dispute

 

That´s from the administrative point of view, now as to the ceremony itself, I find it is lots of fun. We get to eat great food, dance and share our joy with loved ones.

I just love marriages

 

 Ist part - one thing to get people running in the opposite direction and divorce is another legally unbinding contract hehehe

 

2nd part - always like a good party

 

The bit missing - the key criteria that the two parties love each other

16.       cedars
235 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 01:44 pm

 

Quoting bod

 So exactly how many times have you been married cedars ???

 

Only once....so far!

I meant I love weddings 

17.       MrX67
2540 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 02:32 pm

marriage is to say ´´i love to share same house with you,i love to use same ring with you,i love to have ur kids under same roof,i love to breath same air with you etc...´´so which one of us can deny goodness of this great life agrement,but if theresn´t love or when love ends  then other name of a cageAnd thats certain a healthy society only possible with healthy marriagesSo every age possible for an ideal marriage as on many things..

18.       catwoman
8933 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 02:32 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

Getting married is a great excuse for a party.  I notice that the bigger the party, the quicker the marriage fails.  Maybe it is because of all the debt they leave themselves in, paying for the elaborate big showing off wedding

 

In my opinion the party is the worst thing in the whole "marriage" thing! I just hate weddings... that is when the REAL ´for the parents´ thing begins! It´s the most cheesy and tacky kind of party I can think of! And the cost of it is so ridiculous that it just makes the whole thing mind boggling...

19.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 02:35 pm

 

Quoting catwoman

 It´s the most cheesy and tacky kind of party I can think of! And the cost of it is so ridiculous that it just makes the whole thing mind boggling...

 

 I completely agree.  I think I will just run off to a nice caribbean island to do it (if I ever DO want to)

20.       catwoman
8933 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 02:44 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

 I completely agree.  I think I will just run off to a nice caribbean island to do it (if I ever DO want to)

 

Don´t forget about your parents though... a big village party might be waitinig for you as you return from the caribbean!

21.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 02:45 pm

 

Quoting catwoman

Don´t forget about your parents though... a big village party might be waitinig for you as you return from the caribbean!

 

 Luckily they had all that with my sister..... they know I am a little more "unique"

22.       catwoman
8933 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 02:48 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

 Luckily they had all that with my sister..... they know I am a little more "unique"

 

Hmmm... so they know that you just might take a u-turn as you see the party?

23.       bydand
755 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 02:49 pm

 

Quoting cedars

Only once....so far!

I meant I love weddings 

 

 Only once for me as well although it has lasted 42 years {#lang_emotions_alcoholics}

My partner says she would get married again though maybe not to me.{#lang_emotions_sad}  I don´t know why.{#lang_emotions_unsure} 

Marriage is not so important these days and I would advise against getting married too young.

24.       catwoman
8933 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 02:51 pm

 

Quoting bydand

 My partner says she would get married again though maybe not to me.{#lang_emotions_sad}  I don´t know why.{#lang_emotions_unsure}

 

Ok, maybe you also can be funny when you want to! lol

25.       lesluv
722 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 02:58 pm

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

{#lang_emotions_bigsmile} 

26.       cedars
235 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 03:18 pm

Gibran´s wise words about marriage:

 

(from The Prophet,  by Khalil Gibran )

 

You were born together,
and together you shall be forevermore.

 

You shall be together when the white wings
of death scatter your days.

 

Aye, you shall be together even in the
silent memory of God.

 

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

 

Love one another, but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between
the shores of your souls.

 

Fill each other´s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

 

Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone
though they quiver with the same music.

 

Give your hearts, but not into each other´s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

 

And stand together, yet not too near together.
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress
grow not in each other´s shadow.

27.       catwoman
8933 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 05:13 pm

Ok, the worst thing about marriage is the wedding ´party´ (imho ), and the second worst thing is the name change! I cannot imagine changing my last name, ever! And I have no idea in the world why is it the woman that´s supposed to do it! I think the best tradition so far is the spanish one, where the married couple doesn´t change their names, and children get both of their parents´ last names. Where they go wrong is when the kids get married, they do drop their mother´s name instead of their father´s...

28.       zettea
160 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 05:21 pm

 

Quoting catwoman

I think that marriage is not really necessary these days! What´s the point of it...

 

 =D i expected this from you

29.       zettea
160 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 05:28 pm

Is there an ideal age for first marriage? Hmm not really..

 

Is the growing trend of young people waiting longer to get married a good thing? Not at all

 

Average marriage age? 18-30 for women 20-35 for men

 

Why single guys fear commitment? Some are not ready yet, experimenting and opening their options..

 

Why the love era ends with marriage? Real love begins after marriage

30.       zettea
160 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 05:31 pm

 

Quoting gOrgeOus

I will say that when I meet a guy over 35 who isn´t married I wonder what´s wrong with him. {#lang_emotions_noway}

 

  same here!

31.       catwoman
8933 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 05:51 pm

 

Quoting zettea

 =D i expected this from you

 

And why is that, eh? {#lang_emotions_you_smartass} (by the way, lovely letterbox )

32.       zettea
160 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 06:03 pm

 

Quoting catwoman

And why is that, eh? {#lang_emotions_you_smartass} (by the way, lovely letterbox )

 

 thanks cnm

 

I kinda expected that because you´re a feminist

33.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 06:05 pm

 

Quoting gOrgeOus

 

I will say that when I meet a guy over 35 who isn´t married I wonder what´s wrong with him. {#lang_emotions_noway}

 

 I would say there is absolutely nothing wrong with him.  Perhaps he has been spending time getting an education, building his career and having a little fun.  I wouldn´t even consider marrying a guy UNDER 35. {#lang_emotions_noway}  As far as never being married before...there is something to be said for being picky and wanting to find the right person.

34.       catwoman
8933 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 06:13 pm

 

Quoting zettea

I kinda expected that because you´re a feminist

 

Is there a possibility to get you on our side too? (I mean to become a feminist...)

35.       bydand
755 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 06:46 pm

 

Quoting gOrgeOus

 

I will say that when I meet a guy over 35 who isn´t married I wonder what´s wrong with him. {#lang_emotions_noway}

 

 I must be okay then.{#lang_emotions_super_cool}

36.       libralady
5152 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 09:23 pm

 

Quoting bydand

 I must be okay then.{#lang_emotions_super_cool}

 

 You must feel comforted that you are married before you are 35 {#lang_emotions_wink}

37.       cedars
235 posts
 14 Nov 2008 Fri 11:54 pm

 

Quoting catwoman

Ok, the worst thing about marriage is the wedding ´party´ (imho ), and the second worst thing is the name change! I cannot imagine changing my last name, ever! And I have no idea in the world why is it the woman that´s supposed to do it! I think the best tradition so far is the spanish one, where the married couple doesn´t change their names, and children get both of their parents´ last names. Where they go wrong is when the kids get married, they do drop their mother´s name instead of their father´s...

 

 In lebanon we donnot change the name so the lady get to keep her last name but her register number will change since her name will be moved from her father´s register to her husband´s register. However on her passport and ID they add (married to "husband´s full name")

 

France changed recently its law and children can get both parents last name as in spain if parents wish to do  so.

38.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 15 Nov 2008 Sat 12:03 am

 

Quoting cedars

 In lebanon we donnot change the name so the lady get to keep her last name but her register number will change since her name will be moved from her father´s register to her husband´s register. However on her passport and ID they add (married to "husband´s full name")

 

France changed recently its law and children can get both parents last name as in spain if parents wish to do  so.

 

I know it probably isn´t thought of in Lebanon...but being registered to your father´s register or your husband´s register seems a bit...well....degrading.  It just seems a bit like ownership.  Is it possible for a woman to be registered to her own house?   Just curious.

39.       Trudy
7887 posts
 15 Nov 2008 Sat 12:58 am

 

Quoting MrX67

marriage is to say ´´i love to share same house with you,i love to use same ring with you,i love to have ur kids under same roof,i love to breath same air with you etc...´´so which one of us can deny goodness of this great life agrement,but if theresn´t love or when love ends  then other name of a cageAnd thats certain a healthy society only possible with healthy marriagesSo every age possible for an ideal marriage as on many things..

 

All these things are possible without legally marrying. You can live together, with or without a (financial) notary contract, but a marriage cerificate isn´t necessary for that. In the Netherlands there are three contractual options: marriage (m/f, m/m or f/f), a legalised partnership (the same but also possible for people who don´t have a sexual relationship e.g. 2 living together brothers, a mother and her son) or a notary contract (possible for everyone, also for more than 2 persons).

40.       CANLI
5084 posts
 15 Nov 2008 Sat 01:00 am

 

Quoting catwoman

I think that marriage is not really necessary these days! What´s the point of it... other then to please the parents?

Quoting CANLI

 Ãnteresting concept .

Cant wait to hear the others´ opinions about it!

 

Quoting catwoman

And what is YOUR opinion Canli?

 

 Well,we both have different bases to start with cat

Where in your world ´West´,it is acceptable that you have a relationship without marriage with your partner,in mine´East´ it is not.

So in my world if there is no marriage there will be no relation ´intimate i mean´ between man and woman .

Ýts not valid for us and we dont accept it by all means.

The only relation we accept it between man and woman ´again i mean intimate ´ is formed in marriage.

 

Ým not discussing what should or what shouldnt,but what i am curious about is something else

What is the problem or let me say the difference between marriage and long relationship between 2 people ?

Ým talking about relation where you want to spend your life with your partner.

Ý met someone who was in a stable relationship  for 15 years and having children too

He left his lady and kids after that time because he felt he wasnt free spirited enough !and he didnt want to carry further responsibilities...!

SO,he just left her with their kids on their own!

But he visit them,that i must say ! ´grrr´

Ý agree it also can happen in marriage...

So what is the difference ?

To me,both of them are the same,only first one is documented and second is not

So if they are the same,then isnt it much secure for both parts to have a formal shape of their relation before establishing a life?

Ýn my opinion its their responsibility toward themselves and their children too if they are planing a serious long relationship.

 

41.       CANLI
5084 posts
 15 Nov 2008 Sat 01:02 am

 

Quoting Elisabeth

I know it probably isn´t thought of in Lebanon...but being registered to your father´s register or your husband´s register seems a bit...well....degrading.  It just seems a bit like ownership.  Is it possible for a woman to be registered to her own house?   Just curious.

 

 Lis,anlamadým {#lang_emotions_confused}

What does registered to your father´s register or your husband´s register,or registered to her own house means ?

You mean what is written in her ÝD ,her address or what ?

42.       CANLI
5084 posts
 15 Nov 2008 Sat 01:19 am

 

Quoting yilgun-7

Is there an ideal age for first marriage?

Is the growing trend of young people waiting longer to get married a good thing?

Average marriage age?

Why single guys fear commitment?

Why the love era ends with marriage?

The phenomenon.

What do you think?

 

  •  Is there an ideal age for first marriage?

Before thinking about the ideal age for marriage,you should have thought about it as the only marriage,not the first one lol

My opinion,maybe 27 or something

  • Is the growing trend of young people waiting longer to get married a good thing?

Ýf its by there choice,i dont see anything wrong with it.

  • Average marriage age?

Depends

  • Why single guys fear commitment?

Actually i think they fear responsibilities ,so maybe because they are not mature enough for it ?!

Others,will take long time to think and reply and im too sleepy for that lol

Ýyi geceler

43.       lesluv
722 posts
 15 Nov 2008 Sat 02:33 am

There isn´t a best age to get married..... there is just the best person to marry.....the age you marry will never guarantee a happy and long marriage.....

some are lucky and marry "THE ONE", some won´t !

44.       catwoman
8933 posts
 15 Nov 2008 Sat 02:38 am

 

Quoting CANLI

What is the problem or let me say the difference between marriage and long relationship between 2 people ?

Ým talking about relation where you want to spend your life with your partner.

Ý met someone who was in a stable relationship  for 15 years and having children too

He left his lady and kids after that time because he felt he wasnt free spirited enough !and he didnt want to carry further responsibilities...!

SO,he just left her with their kids on their own!

But he visit them,that i must say ! ´grrr´

Ý agree it also can happen in marriage...

So what is the difference ?

To me,both of them are the same,only first one is documented and second is not

So if they are the same,then isnt it much secure for both parts to have a formal shape of their relation before establishing a life?

Ýn my opinion its their responsibility toward themselves and their children too if they are planing a serious long relationship.

 

That´s the thing Canli, I don´t think there is much difference.... but maybe I will change my mind some day. I personally could not have a relationship that is somehow based on intimidation, force or fear... it would have to be a relationship that is based on mature commitment and responsibility, therefore, I don´t think that marriage is necessary. If I am married and my husband wants to leave and not take care of our children, I would not force him to stay - I don´t want to have a person like that in my life anyway. I don´t want his money or anything else... I cannot imagine not being independent financially and emotionally in my life, and that means that I do not want anybody in my life who does not bring me the things that a relationships should bring -- love, caring, respect... For a woman, it is more difficult and risky when there are children involved. That´s why every woman should not get married or have a child before she is financially independent and develops a career and independent personality of her own.

45.       girleegirl
5065 posts
 15 Nov 2008 Sat 06:29 am

You have to know who you are and what you want before you can know what you need in a partner.....it doesn´t matter about age.

I heard the perfect quote yesterday - "Make sure you have your own life before you are someone else´s wife".

 

46.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 15 Nov 2008 Sat 10:58 am

 

Quoting catwoman

 I cannot imagine not being independent financially and emotionally in my life, and that means that I do not want anybody in my life who does not bring me the things that a relationships should bring -- love, caring, respect... For a woman, it is more difficult and risky when there are children involved. That´s why every woman should not get married or have a child before she is financially independent and develops a career and independent personality of her own.

 

 Oh definitely 100% agree.  Please arrange to have this printed and posted on the walls of every school.....

47.       cedars
235 posts
 15 Nov 2008 Sat 03:59 pm

 

Quoting Elisabeth

I know it probably isn´t thought of in Lebanon...but being registered to your father´s register or your husband´s register seems a bit...well....degrading.  It just seems a bit like ownership.  Is it possible for a woman to be registered to her own house?   Just curious.

 

 Let me explain...since we do not have a national number for each citizen, in order to keep track of who is who they have a register for each family. similar to "livret de famille" in france. In fact i believe we inherited everything from the french regime when lebanon was under mandate.

So, all kids are on their parents register, and once one of them is married he will have his own register with his/her partner.

So when a child is not married whether a boy or a girl, his/her name is on the parents register.

 

A house can be registered under the name of a person and not vice versa.and yes woman can own property in lebanon.

48.       cedars
235 posts
 15 Nov 2008 Sat 04:06 pm

 

Quoting CANLI

 Lis,anlamadým {#lang_emotions_confused}

What does registered to your father´s register or your husband´s register,or registered to her own house means ?

You mean what is written in her ÝD ,her address or what ?

 

 We are somehow complicated in Lebanon

A register is like a record book. to keep track of who is who..like a geneological record.

it doesnt matter where you live in lebanon, your register  is in the town where you and your great grandfather are originally from...On our IDs they dont write the address but rather where one originally come from (town, city, village).

 

They used to write the religion on the ID !! not anymore thank god. 

49.       doudi94
845 posts
 15 Nov 2008 Sat 04:44 pm

 

Quoting catwoman

That´s the thing Canli, I don´t think there is much difference.... but maybe I will change my mind some day. I personally could not have a relationship that is somehow based on intimidation, force or fear... it would have to be a relationship that is based on mature commitment and responsibility, therefore, I don´t think that marriage is necessary. If I am married and my husband wants to leave and not take care of our children, I would not force him to stay - I don´t want to have a person like that in my life anyway. I don´t want his money or anything else... I cannot imagine not being independent financially and emotionally in my life, and that means that I do not want anybody in my life who does not bring me the things that a relationships should bring -- love, caring, respect... For a woman, it is more difficult and risky when there are children involved. That´s why every woman should not get married or have a child before she is financially independent and develops a career and independent personality of her own.

 

omg!!! That is soooooooooooooooo perfect!!!!

Right now im whistling and clapping and i feel like im ata really good concert

Wow... thast sooo true!!!!

Thats exactly how everyone should think!!!!

50.       catwoman
8933 posts
 15 Nov 2008 Sat 08:34 pm

 

Quoting doudi94

omg!!! That is soooooooooooooooo perfect!!!!

Right now im whistling and clapping and i feel like im ata really good concert

Wow... thast sooo true!!!!

Thats exactly how everyone should think!!!!

 

and that is why we love you Doudi!!!

51.       catwoman
8933 posts
 15 Nov 2008 Sat 08:36 pm

 

Quoting CANLI

 Well,we both have different bases to start with cat

Where in your world ´West´,it is acceptable that you have a relationship without marriage with your partner,in mine´East´ it is not.

So in my world if there is no marriage there will be no relation ´intimate i mean´ between man and woman .

Ýts not valid for us and we dont accept it by all means.

The only relation we accept it between man and woman ´again i mean intimate ´ is formed in marriage.

 

Canli, I have a question for you -- do you think that it´s good or bad that things are this way where you live? I mean, do you agree with the social rule that people should not be intimate before marriage?

52.       CANLI
5084 posts
 15 Nov 2008 Sat 09:08 pm

 

Quoting catwoman

That´s the thing Canli, I don´t think there is much difference.... but maybe I will change my mind some day. I personally could not have a relationship that is somehow based on intimidation, force or fear... it would have to be a relationship that is based on mature commitment and responsibility, therefore, I don´t think that marriage is necessary. If I am married and my husband wants to leave and not take care of our children, I would not force him to stay - I don´t want to have a person like that in my life anyway. I don´t want his money or anything else... I cannot imagine not being independent financially and emotionally in my life, and that means that I do not want anybody in my life who does not bring me the things that a relationships should bring -- love, caring, respect... For a woman, it is more difficult and risky when there are children involved. That´s why every woman should not get married or have a child before she is financially independent and develops a career and independent personality of her own.

 

Ý cant say i disagree with you at any of what you have said above

But you also didnt get what i mean fully

Ý agree that %100 women should be financially independent,smart women should,even if their men´husbands are responsibile for all the financial issues at home

Never the less,women shouldnt put their necks in anyone´s hands !

And if a man or a woman want out,they are more than welcome,and they by no mean shouldnt be forced to stay.

For what ?! What would they offer to the marriage or relation if they are forced to stay ?!

 

Ý dont mean by secure just financially secure,i mean all,emotionally too

ÝF.. women/men  refused having any intimate relationship outside the bond of marriage that would lessen the number of affairs outside marriage between married men/women and other women/men

And if the man wanted another woman,his only way is to get the divorce and marry the other one

And that goes also for the women

Ý guess that would be more secure for both women and men ´emotionally here´

The second thing,

Marriage or a relationship is not just about man or woman,it involve kids in between ´if it meant to be for establishing a family´

And those kids have rights toward their mother´s and their father´s as well,once parents thought of having children their responsibilities toward them would start

That goes for both men and women.

And it is the children´s rights that,their father´s carry their responsibility as any other kids,and if he didnt want,he should be forced !

Ýt is their rights.

Ým not talking about the woman here,even in such cases women are the ones who carry that responsibilities,and do well at many cases,but STÝLL it affect the childern too some how financially and emotionally.

 

As long as being in a relation is same as marrige,then why not marriage ?

 

The way i understand it goes like that...

You dont have to sign many papers ,and you dont have to go through hell if you want out.

That is the only differences i find

Yes ?

 

 

 

53.       CANLI
5084 posts
 15 Nov 2008 Sat 09:16 pm

 

Quoting catwoman

Canli, I have a question for you -- do you think that it´s good or bad that things are this way where you live? I mean, do you agree with the social rule that people should not be intimate before marriage?

 

 Ãt is not just a social rules,but let´s talk about it from that prospective

Yes,i agree about it,and it goes for both men and women not just women

They should get intimate only with the person they decide to share rest of their life with,not with anyone before or after.

So each couple will also have a special and unique bond together,they havent experienced it with anyone else.

So i think its a good thing.

 

PS: and that was my 4000 post so that would say something ..eh ?! lol

54.       femmeous
2642 posts
 15 Nov 2008 Sat 09:32 pm

 

Quoting catwoman

In my opinion the party is the worst thing in the whole "marriage" thing! I just hate weddings... that is when the REAL ´for the parents´ thing begins! It´s the most cheesy and tacky kind of party I can think of! And the cost of it is so ridiculous that it just makes the whole thing mind boggling...

 

 i too hate weddings. the same repeated boring things, boring scheme: boring toasts, boring gifts, boring dances, boring rituals etc etc.

i somehow had to survive my own. and i didnt go to my brothers. people thought i was a weirdo (well, im). i arrived next day - sunday. i knew they would torture me with speech and dance. my mom was completly exhausted, i think she didnt sleep 72hrs. and wanted the party be perfect, organising everything (for 600 people): a dance group, singers, tonnes of food and drinks, making sure everyone was happy. i think it cost her thousands and thousands of dollars. what a waste! but she was proud for throwing such a wedding (and money too).

55.       Trudy
7887 posts
 15 Nov 2008 Sat 09:51 pm

 

Quoting CANLI

You dont have to sign many papers ,and you dont have to go through hell if you want out.

 

Not true. When living together most people have a shared bank account, a mortgage or rental contract, pension arrangements, insurances etc. etc. It took me 14 months to get rid of my ex and all the paper work after I was told ´it is over, there is another person´.

56.       a-enigma
5 posts
 15 Nov 2008 Sat 11:32 pm

cohibition is such a nice thing!why to spil it by wedding oaths..yuck..boring...will never give my freedom to that one who would like to posses my soul and body!{#lang_emotions_ninja}

57.       alameda
3499 posts
 16 Nov 2008 Sun 08:20 am

 

Quoting CANLI

 Ãt is not just a social rules,but let´s talk about it from that prospective

Yes,i agree about it,and it goes for both men and women not just women

They should get intimate only with the person they decide to share rest of their life with,not with anyone before or after.

So each couple will also have a special and unique bond together,they havent experienced it with anyone else.

So i think its a good thing.

 

PS: and that was my 4000 post so that would say something ..eh ?! lol

 

Wow, 4,000 posts! Amazing...

 

I think marriage is about being committed. Getting married is making a vow and getting blessings on the marriage.

 

It´s easy to feel generous, compassionate when one is alone, but when one has to consider another we see just how compassionate or selfish we are.

 

Then....there is the matter of making a committment to work together to make a life together, to share one´s life...the good and the bad. Without a serious committment, when things get difficult, and when the honeymoon is over, it´s easy to skip out. One´s spouse should be one´s best friend.

 

If you live together before making the committment, the honeymoon is over before you start.

58.       yilgun-7
1326 posts
 16 Nov 2008 Sun 12:46 pm

If so, Who will care you,  in the future - good times, bad times, retirement period, loneliness-?

Your children?

Your friends?

 

59.       zettea
160 posts
 16 Nov 2008 Sun 04:45 pm

 

Quoting a-enigma

cohibition is such a nice thing!why to spil it by wedding oaths..yuck..boring...will never give my freedom to that one who would like to posses my soul and body!{#lang_emotions_ninja}

 

 lol a newbie a-enigma! =D.. dear a-enigma, meet TheAenigma =D

60.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 16 Nov 2008 Sun 04:46 pm

 

Quoting zettea

 lol a newbie a-enigma! =D.. dear a-enigma, meet TheAenigma =D

 

 Yeah, to be more accurate, meet Temora (aka a-enigma)

61.       zettea
160 posts
 16 Nov 2008 Sun 04:58 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

 Yeah, to be more accurate, meet Temora (aka a-enigma)

 

 Ah, Temora sounds familiar =) why are there clones around here lol

62.       femmeous
2642 posts
 16 Nov 2008 Sun 05:05 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

 Yeah, to be more accurate, meet Temora (aka a-enigma)

 

 how can you be so sure that temora is a-enigma? of course unless you use your magic.

 

btw, why a-enigma, and not f-emme? im jealous now. everyone wants to be aenigma

63.       femmeous
2642 posts
 16 Nov 2008 Sun 05:08 pm

i think theres no such a thing as a best age to marry. you marry when you are ready.

my personal advice would be: first get educated, work and save some money, secure yourself finanacially and then marry. but love doesnt follow any rule, love is blind.

64.       zettea
160 posts
 16 Nov 2008 Sun 05:09 pm

 

Quoting femmeous

 how can you be so sure that temora is a-enigma? of course unless you use your magic.

 

btw, why a-enigma, and not f-emme? im jealous now. everyone wants to be aenigma

 

 it´s ok femme.. i dedicated a pic for you on my profile... that´s some love alright *giggles*

 

Anyway f-emme just doesnt sound right does it.. lol{#lang_emotions_bigsmile}

65.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 16 Nov 2008 Sun 05:13 pm

 

Quoting femmeous

 how can you be so sure that temora is a-enigma? of course unless you use your magic.

 

 I just know...ok?

 

66.       femmeous
2642 posts
 16 Nov 2008 Sun 07:12 pm

 

Quoting zettea

 it´s ok femme.. i dedicated a pic for you on my profile... that´s some love alright *giggles*

 

Anyway f-emme just doesnt sound right does it.. lol{#lang_emotions_bigsmile}

 

 lol to me it sounds FM just like radio waves lol

67.       sophie
2712 posts
 16 Nov 2008 Sun 11:03 pm

 

Quoting yilgun-7

If so, Who will care you,  in the future - good times, bad times, retirement period, loneliness-?

Your children?

Your friends?

 

 

What does "taking care of" have to do with marriage?

 

You marry someone because you love him and want to share every moment with him. You´ll definitely stand for and with him through good and bad times and there will be times when you´ll give and receive help, but considering this as a reason to get married, is.... hmmm...how can I say it?... a wrong motive maybe?

 

 

 

 

68.       sophie
2712 posts
 16 Nov 2008 Sun 11:15 pm

 

Quoting femmeous

 i too hate weddings. the same repeated boring things, boring scheme: boring toasts, boring gifts, boring dances, boring rituals etc etc.

i somehow had to survive my own. and i didnt go to my brothers. people thought i was a weirdo (well, im).

 

 Lol, I didn´t even appear to MY wedding party! I had warned my parents. Told them that there was no way I would spend that night with a bunch of people I hadn´t seen for ages, smiling and talking to them politely, ignoring the fact that they would spend the night gossiping about how I look, how I dance, how cold the dishes are, how tasteless the food, how cheap the drinks etc etc etc. And finally, if they had money to waste, they would better buy us two tickets to...anywhere, to celebrate our wedding.

 

They said that they had to follow the tradition and give the party and so they did. But we

were having a great night instead, at a live club, with my bro, his sis and our close friends. {#lang_emotions_alcoholics}

69.       yilgun-7
1326 posts
 17 Nov 2008 Mon 12:51 am

Everybody knows :

Marriage is a real friendship.

Because it  is so hard to find “good friends” for your ” bad times.”

But it is possible to find” so many good friends”  for your  “good  times.”

 

 

70.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 17 Nov 2008 Mon 01:31 am

 

Quoting sophie

 Lol, I didn´t even appear to MY wedding party! I had warned my parents. Told them that there was no way I would spend that night with a bunch of people I hadn´t seen for ages, smiling and talking to them politely, ignoring the fact that they would spend the night gossiping about how I look, how I dance, how cold the dishes are, how tasteless the food, how cheap the drinks etc etc etc. And finally, if they had money to waste, they would better buy us two tickets to...anywhere, to celebrate our wedding.

 

They said that they had to follow the tradition and give the party and so they did. But we

were having a great night instead, at a live club, with my bro, his sis and our close friends. {#lang_emotions_alcoholics}

 

Ha ha

I really like your way..

Actually, I could never ever imagined myself getting married in a traditional way..

It was my nightmare to think myself as the groom like ´a show horse´ in a traditional Turkish wedding..

 

71.       vineyards
1954 posts
 17 Nov 2008 Mon 01:39 am

For a certain prefered kind of marriage, marriage age depends on how soon you can find your soul mate.

72.       zettea
160 posts
 17 Nov 2008 Mon 01:44 am

i dont believe in big weddings.. all we need are some witnesses and the pastor/kadi.. maybe we can invite some close relatives and friends... why stress yourself with big weddings and end up in debt.. it´s all unnecessary and not a must so you have a choice not to do it. Besides, marriage is a spiritual reunion of a couple for life. I rather spend the money on honeymoon or on my future home.

73.       justinetime
1018 posts
 17 Nov 2008 Mon 07:53 pm

 

Quoting zettea

i dont believe in big weddings.. all we need are some witnesses and the pastor/kadi.. maybe we can invite some close relatives and friends... why stress yourself with big weddings and end up in debt.. it´s all unnecessary and not a must so you have a choice not to do it. Besides, marriage is a spiritual reunion of a couple for life. I rather spend the money on honeymoon or on my future home.

 

yes that was what i had in mind. big weddings are too much.

 

I think the purpose of marriage, is that it is more than just a union of two people, it is a commitment of your union to God. Two people being one, unseparable no matter what struggles they have etc...

 

I think some people either forget this part after they get married, that´s why it´s so easy to get divorced, and easy to forget the purpose of marriage. And since they forget the "commitment to God and promise to God" part of the marriage, it is easy for people to think that marriage is not needed at all. and plus, the divorce option doesn´t help either. Why get married and promise someone to be with them through the good times and the bad? this promises don´t hold much meaning if the option of divorce is present.

 

No wonder why it is so easy for some people to get married because they have the option to end the relationship when they don´t feel like being married, and no wonder why some people choose not to get married as well. In this present day, there is not much value in marriage anymore.

 

that´s just how i see it.

74.       gOrgeOus
9 posts
 17 Nov 2008 Mon 09:28 pm

 

Quoting Elisabeth

 I would say there is absolutely nothing wrong with him.  Perhaps he has been spending time getting an education, building his career and having a little fun.  I wouldn´t even consider marrying a guy UNDER 35. {#lang_emotions_noway}  As far as never being married before...there is something to be said for being picky and wanting to find the right person.

 

I see your point, and it´s totally valid.  But from my perspective, I see this guy like, if he´s as good as I think he is, some other girl would have swooped him up by now.  There´s got to be something he´s hiding.  Maybe he leaves dirty underwear everywhere or something small like that - but he might also be a total player (for the record, most of the guys I know over 35 who aren´t married sleep with different girls every night and that´s why they aren´t married.)

75.       sophie
2712 posts
 17 Nov 2008 Mon 11:33 pm

 

Quoting thehandsom

Ha ha

I really like your way..

Actually, I could never ever imagined myself getting married in a traditional way..

It was my nightmare to think myself as the groom like ´a show horse´ in a traditional Turkish wedding..

 

With me, you ll never EVER have to stand the torture of a traditional Turkish (or Greek) wedding. So, what do you think? Shall I buy two tickets to Peru? {#lang_emotions_owned} 

 

76.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 17 Nov 2008 Mon 11:44 pm

 

Quoting sophie

With me, you ll never EVER have to stand the torture of a traditional Turkish (or Greek) wedding. So, what do you think? Shall I buy two tickets to Peru? {#lang_emotions_owned} 

 

Perfect Sophie..

Just pm me the dates..I will be there {#lang_emotions_flowers}

77.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 17 Nov 2008 Mon 11:48 pm

 

Quoting gOrgeOus

I see your point, and it´s totally valid.  But from my perspective, I see this guy like, if he´s as good as I think he is, some other girl would have swooped him up by now.  There´s got to be something he´s hiding.  Maybe he leaves dirty underwear everywhere or something small like that - but he might also be a total player (for the record, most of the guys I know over 35 who aren´t married sleep with different girls every night and that´s why they aren´t married.)

 

 Most of the guys I know who are over 35 and never been married have been working on their advanced degrees and haven´t had time for many girlfriends.  Maybe one or two of them are players but most have been in very long term relationships that didn´t work out.  I guess it just depends on the people you know.

78.       bod
5999 posts
 15 Dec 2008 Mon 01:57 pm

 

Quoting vineyards

For a certain prefered kind of marriage, marriage age depends on how soon you can find your soul mate.

 

There is no disagreeing with this.........

Although I am somewhat unsure what the purpose of marriage actually is!

79.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 15 Dec 2008 Mon 04:58 pm

 

Quoting bod

 

Although I am somewhat unsure what the purpose of marriage actually is!

 

 Well, in the modern world, it is merely a legal contract that can be reversed at will when things get too difficult.  It is perverse how much money people spend on a wedding!  Wouldn´t it be better to buy a nice home? 

 

For me personally, I prefer to be married because I am far to traditional and set in my ways to do otherwise.  But I think its perfectly fine for two people who want to be together not to get married as long as they both understand that they have no legal rights.

80.       bod
5999 posts
 15 Dec 2008 Mon 05:15 pm

 

Quoting Elisabeth

But I think its perfectly fine for two people who want to be together not to get married as long as they both understand that they have no legal rights.

 

Having been married, and having very nearly lost my house at the end of it, not having any legal rights is a very good reason NOT to get married!!!

 

81.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 15 Dec 2008 Mon 05:25 pm

 

Quoting bod

Having been married, and having very nearly lost my house at the end of it, not having any legal rights is a very good reason NOT to get married!!!

 

 I was in that club too!  But that is a whole other thread!{#lang_emotions_razz}

82.       bod
5999 posts
 15 Dec 2008 Mon 05:39 pm

 

Quoting Elisabeth

 I was in that club too!  But that is a whole other thread!{#lang_emotions_razz}

 

Very few threads stay on topic.......

Why should this one be the exception???

83.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 15 Dec 2008 Mon 05:43 pm

 

Quoting bod

Very few threads stay on topic.......

Why should this one be the exception???

 

We will save this for the Laudramat forum!{#lang_emotions_lol_fast}

84.       bod
5999 posts
 15 Dec 2008 Mon 05:55 pm

 

Quoting Elisabeth

We will save this for the Laudramat forum!{#lang_emotions_lol_fast}

 

 OK - that´s a deal.......

85.       Forrest Gump
25 posts
 15 Dec 2008 Mon 10:18 pm

30...but its hard to find enough candidates...

86.       bod
5999 posts
 16 Dec 2008 Tue 10:52 am

 

Quoting Forrest Gump

30...but its hard to find enough candidates...

 

 Getting married does present a slight problem without a suitable candidate!!!

87.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 16 Dec 2008 Tue 12:30 pm

 

Quoting bod

 Getting married does present a slight problem without a suitable candidate!!!

 

Yes I thought that too - particularly as he also states in his profile that he is looking to get married!

88.       bod
5999 posts
 16 Dec 2008 Tue 12:39 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

Yes I thought that too - particularly as he also states in his profile that he is looking to get married!

 

 Perhaps he sufferes from a split personality and is planning on marrying himself

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