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Father refuses to donate kidney to 25-year-old son
(54 Messages in 6 pages - View all)
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50.       vineyards
1954 posts
 20 Dec 2008 Sat 03:45 pm

 

Quoting teaschip

I have to agree with Femme here..I find this man to be a very selfish person.  I don´t even like to see my own son sick...would rather be sick myself.  This for me would not be a difficult question when it comes to saving your childs life.  It´s hard to understand why any parent would refuse to do this under any cicumstances if it meant the possiblity to save their kid.  All that comes to my mind is he is a selfish..self absorbed coward.

 

That is the extent which we can go when describing a father like him : "I find this man to be a very selfish person.."  With all due respect, many of us still think that we live in an ideal world full of decent people. In fact, it is far from being like that. Like the heroes and heroins of both fiction and history there are egoist, sadist, misagonist, misanthropic and mazochistic people in addition to perverts, criminals, murderers, baby rapists (source recent news) and you name it.

 

In other words, people may surprize you anytime, anywhere. You´d better be prepared.

 

Now anyone of you wishing to drink a bottle of wine with me in the middle of the night?

51.       libralady
5152 posts
 20 Dec 2008 Sat 04:42 pm

 

Quoting lady in red

I meant that his current wife may have put a lot of pressure on him not to do it because she was scared it would be dangerous for him, he might possibly die and then HER children would be left without a father.

 

 It says in the article that he consulted with his brothers, the uncles of this boy, and they advised him that he should not do it, and that he should consider his new family of young children and also his age ( 60 ).  So I think some blame for this mans apparent selfishness should be apportioned to them.

 

What also struck me was the heartlessness (if this word is so readily being bandied about) of the potential father in law, who did not want his daughter to marry a man with kidney disease.

52.       CANLI
5084 posts
 20 Dec 2008 Sat 10:46 pm

 

Quoting libralady

 his age ( 60 ). 

 

 

Ýf the Doctors say its ok for him to go through the operation reagarding his age and health

Then by no mean he is not excused!

His son may die and he do nothing about it and went to  family for advice ?!

what kind of families that it gives desicion such as this ?To let one of its sons die and do nothing about it while they can!

Doesnt deserve to be called family in my opinion!

 

53.       tinababy
1096 posts
 21 Dec 2008 Sun 12:20 am

 

Quoting femmeous

 sorry for my rough tongue, but what you and tinababy wrote is a complete bulshit. what decisions? what life? what life would you have or conscience would you have after you refused to donate one kidney to save a life of your child. what heart you must have to watch your chil live in misery and pain. that poor lady had laready had 3 other children died for this only reason.

libra, one more time congratulations on your heartless attitude to weakest people.

 

 I agree. You have a rough tongue femmeous. I can´t understand your intolerance to other people´s opinions??? I was actually commenting on Trudy´s posting about it being a black and white world where someone thinks they would not want to donate their own organs. She asked if they would accept someone elses if need be. I suggest that maybe that person might also question their own decision if a member of their own family needed help. I was trying to say that no-one knows how they will react until the question is asked.

Why so angry and unnecessarily insulting femmeous??

54.       alameda
3499 posts
 21 Dec 2008 Sun 06:51 am

 

Quoting CANLI

Ýf the Doctors say its ok for him to go through the operation reagarding his age and health

Then by no mean he is not excused!

His son may die and he do nothing about it and went to  family for advice ?!

what kind of families that it gives desicion such as this ?To let one of its sons die and do nothing about it while they can!

Doesnt deserve to be called family in my opinion!

 

I don´t know, Canli, I think people are being too harsh on this man. Evidently there is a problem with this family, or at least with the offspring of the father and his first wife. All the children have had kidney problems. Three have died from it, and the last one is dying.

 

The man has other children to take care of, and he is 60 years old. I don´t think the life expectancy in Turkey is that long, in particular in Eastern Turkey where he is from. The age of 60 is not exactly a young vital and vibrant man. Donation of a kidney is a major operatin and quite serious. Kidney donations are usually done from young healthy people, not older people.


"As for Yasin Topaloðlu´s father, Ali Topaloðlu, he notes that despite being divorced from Yasin´s mother, he has turned over much of his pension money to help the mother buy a house and has money taken monthly from his wages to help support his ex-wife and their child.

Noting that he also has two more children from his second marriage, Topaloðlu said: "My children are very young. When the question of whether I should give my kidney to Yasin arose, I went to my brothers to talk about it. They did not look warmly on it. They warned me that my children were still young. As it is, I am already 60 years old. I have lost three children already. I am very saddened by the situation, but my kidney is not going to keep him alive. And if I get sick, there is no one there behind me to support my new family."

 

In fact, I think it´s outragous this family´s very personal agony has been exposed to the whole world to venture opinions on. Do we know how healthy this man is? What is the prognosis for the man who needs the kidney? This is deeply personal. He does have young children to take care of.

 

I´m curious as to why there this family has so many kidney probmems. Is it something in the area they grew up, is it genetic?

 

I also would not want my daughter or son to marry someone with such a dire family health history, and in particular with so many questions as to the cause of the problem unanswered.

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