Then you don´t think I´m your lucky most frequent user?

Gemini

Geminis are talkative, quick witted and funny.  It is often said that they are “two people in one” but that is just said by kinky sapiks who have fetishes for twins. 

Spring brings a new love into your life.  Grab it with both hands, wherever you feel necessary and use oil if you feel chafing.  Your passionate, excessively noisy love making results in complaints from neighbouring cats.

Summer finds you narcissistic Geminis even more in love with yourselves than usual, despite troublesome acne.  A failure to remember a dentist appointment results in the loss of thousands of lives.

Autumn brings a new start and you draw a line under the past.  You then draw a circle and two more lines and people start to question your artistic abilities.

Winter finds you cold and moody, particularly on Tuesdays.  You try to cheer yourself up by attempting to find an online love, but suddenly receive no spam PMs (apart from the usual one from the “captain” ).  You feel unloved, and you are right.

Lucky Deleted User By His Own Request: Vineyards

Lucky Colour: Puce

Prince to avoid: His Serene Highness Prince zu Windisch-Graetx of Austria

Classmate you are most likely to have a crush on: HarpOOn

Classmate you are most likely to complain about: Canli

Aries

People born under the sign of the ram are hot headed, love to give orders and hate to take them, unless it is Thursday.  Unfortunately, the start of the year sees you in a huge argument with Catwoman, which will thereafter be referred to, in hushed tones, as the “pink burka incident”.  You are swiftly deleted and attempt to create a rival website called “Turkish Sandwich Class” but nobody joins, except “Big John” from Leeds, who thinks it is a food-porn site.

Summer is NOT a good time to take up ballroom dancing as you have a nasty retrograde with Uranus. In July you will find the perfect opportunity to embezzle money from your company. Do it – you will never get caught.  

Autumn finds Aries females alone and looking for a new dudu.  However, caution with finances is advised for all Aries at this time, so do NOT send any cellphones, laptops or money right now.   This knock on affect will find Aries dudus feeling the pinch (and NOT in a good way).

Winter finds you dying your hair platinum blonde, but you leave the bleach in for too long and it goes grey and people think you are theHandsom.  If you are Aries with venus rising at this time, please don’t wear tight jeans out in public. 

Lucky Deleted Classmate:  Rain

Lucky Hedge: Hawthorn

Ex-President to Avoid in Lifts: Bill Clinton

Classmate you are most likely to agree with: Femmeous

Classmate you are most likely to argue with: Cybernetics

Aries

Unfortunately, the start of the year sees you in a huge argument with Catwoman, which will thereafter be referred to, in hushed tones, as the “pink burka incident”.

Autumn finds Aries females alone and looking for a new dudu.  However, caution with finances is advised for all Aries at this time, so do NOT send any cellphones, laptops or money right now.   This knock on affect will find Aries dudus feeling the pinch (and NOT in a good way).

Winter finds you dying your hair platinum blonde, but you leave the bleach in for too long and it goes grey and people think you are theHandsom.  If you are Aries with venus rising at this time, please don’t wear tight jeans out in public. 

Classmate you are most likely to agree with: Femmeous

Gemini

Winter finds you cold and moody, particularly on Tuesdays.  You try to cheer yourself up by attempting to find an online love, but suddenly receive no spam PMs (apart from the usual one from the “captain” ).  You feel unloved, and you are right.

Are we going to have one for scorpio?

Still no scorpio..

Aries

Lucky Deleted Classmate:  Rain

Lucky Hedge: Hawthorn

Ex-President to Avoid in Lifts: Bill Clinton

Classmate you are most likely to agree with: Femmeous

Classmate you are most likely to argue with: Cybernetics

 i dont want to argue with anyone

 Patience is a virtue CW