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General/Off-topic

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aþkým ýs Turkýsh..
1.       felicia
8 posts
 04 Feb 2009 Wed 08:46 pm

I have recently started talking with a Turkish man. He is absolutely wonderful.  But I dont understand how quickly things progressed. I understand following your heart but it has been a few short weeks and things picked up speed quickly. He is already talking lifelong days. I really dont have any problem with it. But after my last relationship I have a very guarded heart and dont trust easily. But.. i love him. My heart feels his.. and I love him.  Are alot of Turkish men like this?

Also.. are Turkish men, in general, offended by anything? How does a woman treat her Turkish man?

 

Thank you



Edited (2/5/2009) by felicia [misspelled word]

2.       Trudy
7887 posts
 04 Feb 2009 Wed 08:57 pm

 

Quoting felicia

I have recearted talking with a Turkish man. He is absolutely wonderful.  But I dont understand how quickly things progressed. I understand following your heart but it has been a few short weeks and things picked up speed quickly. He is already talking lifelong days. I really dont have any problem with it. But after my last relationship I have a very guarded heart and dont trust easily. But.. i love him. My heart feels his.. and I love him.  Are alot of Turkish men like this?

Also.. are Turkish men, in general, offended by anything? How does a woman treat her Turkish man?

 

Thank you

 

Well, I probably offend some guys here....too bad, but my idea/experience is that Turkish men very quickly talk about being friends (after you´ve exchanged 2 emails), about love (after 4 emails   ) etc.

 

And yes, many of them - not all of course - are very easily offended. Some expect ´their´ woman to be very obedient, they can´t stand any counter pressure.

3.       Melek74
1506 posts
 04 Feb 2009 Wed 11:00 pm

There´s a great story in the "Tales of the Expat Harem" that is written by a woman living in Istanbul about her experiences dating Turkish men. I found it absolutely delightful. What she writes is that with Turkish men you have the freedom to be as "co-dependent´ and "needy" as you want to - you can call them as many times a day and and spend as much time with them as you want and not be afraid you´ll break "The Rules". I also liked how she compared dating in the States (I think, it might have been a different country) vs dating in Turkey - in the States you meet somebody, you date them, it´s acceptable to see more than one person until you´re "exclusive", you find out if the person is right for you and then you make the commitment - whereas with Turkish men, once they like you, you´re perfect

 

I don´t know how true it is, as with everything it´s probably a generalization, but in my experience I found that you can let yourself be with a Turkish man and there´s much less game playing. You pretty much know where you stand, be it for better or worse.



Edited (2/4/2009) by Melek74 [Spelling]

4.       felicia
8 posts
 05 Feb 2009 Thu 06:41 am

I am hoping this is true. My heart is very guarded right now. Married to a very emotionaly abusive man for 10 years. And had another man leave me for dead when i trusted him most. I want to believe aþkim very much. And when he said something about marriage I kind of pushed him away hard. Needless to say I flipped out a little. The catch to it is.. I havent even met him yet and we havent been talking that long...  Looks like I will have to find this bok and read it... Thank you for your input very much!! {#lang_emotions_satisfied_nod}

5.       Melek74
1506 posts
 05 Feb 2009 Thu 03:35 pm

 

Quoting felicia

I am hoping this is true. My heart is very guarded right now. Married to a very emotionaly abusive man for 10 years. And had another man leave me for dead when i trusted him most. I want to believe aþkim very much. And when he said something about marriage I kind of pushed him away hard. Needless to say I flipped out a little. The catch to it is.. I havent even met him yet and we havent been talking that long...  Looks like I will have to find this bok and read it... Thank you for your input very much!! {#lang_emotions_satisfied_nod}

 

I think it´s smart to be cautious that early into a relationship, you hardly know this man and don´t know if he´s trustworthy or not. So I hope you´ll get to know him better before you give away your heart. And in the meantime, enjoy it



Edited (2/5/2009) by Melek74 [Can´t spell worth of crap]

6.       alameda
3499 posts
 05 Feb 2009 Thu 08:36 pm

 

Quoting felicia

I am hoping this is true. My heart is very guarded right now. Married to a very emotionaly abusive man for 10 years. And had another man leave me for dead when i trusted him most. I want to believe aþkim very much. And when he said something about marriage I kind of pushed him away hard. Needless to say I flipped out a little. The catch to it is.. I havent even met him yet and we havent been talking that long...  Looks like I will have to find this bok and read it... Thank you for your input very much!! {#lang_emotions_satisfied_nod}

 

 You have only been talking with him for a short while and not even met him and you love him already? Are you sure you don´t just want to be in love and thus attaching it to a convenient target?

 

It sounds like you are very vulnerable. You don´t seem to know much about Turkish culture. What do you actually know about this man?

 

Your life goals should harmonize, if you hope to have a sucessful relationship. Two people walking different roads don´t make good partners.

7.       dreamsr4living
63 posts
 05 Feb 2009 Thu 09:55 pm

I don´t want to go into details of what "Turkish" men are like, when overall men and women, from anywhere can be both good or bad.

What I´m a little confused about is that you talk about guarding your heart yet you say you love him etc. Just let your mind think outside the box because as they say "love is blind". So just take your time with everything because if he is a good guy, he would wait, right?.

 

If you think outside the box like the people you are asking advice from, they´ll more than likely tell you to slow down as you haven´t even met him, or ask questions like "how can you be in love with someone you don´t really know?" etc.

Also, if you are asking people, strangers for that matter for their opinion, it must be because you have doubts, and so therefore can´t really be sure of it yourself.

I agree with a previous post, maybe because of your heart break before, your are not just wanting to fall in love again, but also needing it, as a comfort to feel secure etc, but you should get up slowly after a fall, or you might just fall again.

 


Good luck



Edited (2/5/2009) by dreamsr4living

8.       libralady
5152 posts
 05 Feb 2009 Thu 10:43 pm

You can ask for all the advice in the world, but you can only make your own decisions.   Only you know how you feel, and if you have had bad relationships in the past, this could seem very comfortable long distance.

 

Be cautious is the only thing I would suggest. 

9.       felicia
8 posts
 07 Feb 2009 Sat 07:35 am

I truly do thank all of you for your advice... I think you all might even be right. "slow" is the keyword here. Thank you as i do happen to be this hopeless romantic that falls.. usually flat on my face.. I seem to pour out everything i have in the beginning then by time i take a minute to step back... i´m in too deep. Thank you guys.  {#lang_emotions_owned} lol

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