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RUMORS THAT TURKISH HUSBAND ARE VERY JEALOUS?
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| 80. |
14 Feb 2009 Sat 12:13 pm |
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I am not going decry anything anyone has written here because that is your view and you are entitled to that view. But please listen when some of us say we are not jealous.
I wrote how long I had been married and I have never been jealous. If my husband wants to look at another woman, then so what? If I want to look at another man, so what? It does not mean we are going to run off with someone else, far from it, it makes our relationship stronger if we allow each other that stretch of freedom.
If I did not have my freedom (and him likewise) to the extent to which we allow, we would not have been married for so long.
A sensible post in a sea of crap 
Complete agree!
Edited (2/14/2009) by TheAenigma
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| 81. |
15 Feb 2009 Sun 01:04 am |
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Not having enough time to write, but want to add my 2 pennies.
Jealousy is norm in our culture, it goes both ways, i mean its a he and a she thing , no differences here.
To us, its essential in the relationship to some extent, but if it exceeded it, then its sickness and can break up the relationship all together
Still, if you dont feel jealous, then you simply dont care, dont love !
So, actually we dont really get it when others ´other cultures´ say they dont get/feel jealous.
Ãn our logic/understanding/culture, Yes, s/he trust him/herself, successful, trust him/her and at same time feel jealus too...by no mean nothing to be ashamed of!
It is not "jealousy" which breaks up relationships....it is the "suspicion".
They are two totally different creatures....
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| 82. |
15 Feb 2009 Sun 05:07 pm |
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Not having enough time to write, but want to add my 2 pennies.
Jealousy is norm in our culture, it goes both ways, i mean its a he and a she thing , no differences here.
To us, its essential in the relationship to some extent, but if it exceeded it, then its sickness and can break up the relationship all together
Still, if you dont feel jealous, then you simply dont care, dont love !
So, actually we dont really get it when others ´other cultures´ say they dont get/feel jealous.
Ãn our logic/understanding/culture, Yes, s/he trust him/herself, successful, trust him/her and at same time feel jealus too...by no mean nothing to be ashamed of!
Jealousy is not a cultural norm - it is a deeply human feeling!
We all have it, and it comes along with having a mate, and along with living with potential distractors of our partner. Jealousy is in a way the reversed desire of keeping what is "yours". Through history and in different cultures there were always ways to fight for the lady you want, for eg. In fairy tales, look how many difficulties one has to overpass to attain the love of his life. And gealousy implied duels, fighting of two men, to settle things down. Who´s better for the woman. The same goes on the other directon too. The wiser woman, better cook, nicer, more beautiful is the one that will attract more. So gealousy is a natural feeling.
About suspicions, what Alpha said above - it is like in business, once bitten you are suspicious. Maybe it is only the degree of it. Let´s say vigilency is a normal outcome of knowing you might loose what you have... Until trust comes in there is much water to run down the Nile, as they say. There is seldom such thing as predestination, love needs to be fed, with many things. Sometimes even jealousy. To know that you have to treasure what you have. And up to the spiritual level,there is a long way to run...
Dear Cecile, since it has been started a huge discussion on this issue, it is not the jealousy what is the real topic to talk about here, . It is the way man operate, how much freedom they give you. How much possessiveness they show in balancing their jealousy. Sometimes it is easier to "cage" women than to offer her what she needs. So musulmanism hides traps, also, because it is said, one has to treat her wife well, but what is well? and who is a true follower of the guidelines? It is also about sexism, men are to have freedom in satisfying their hunting needs even at the cost of the happiness they offer to their women. This is what you have to face and try to balance for your own needs for happiness
Edited (2/15/2009) by portokal
[spelling and grammar ...]
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| 83. |
15 Feb 2009 Sun 05:17 pm |
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What if jealousy starts at the point when one is forbidden to leave the house, just not to be a target of other men´s gazes?
What if jealousy starts when the other is constantly flirting with people?
It is natural to admire beauties and delightful to realise that you have your partner who has many qualities and whom you love. But when these little games turn into a much more unfair attitude, then is what i call jealousy. Cecile is afterall intending to live in Turkey...
And yes, Libra, I agree, freedom is one of the key concepts of long lasting relationships.
I am not going decry anything anyone has written here because that is your view and you are entitled to that view. But please listen when some of us say we are not jealous.
I wrote how long I had been married and I have never been jealous. If my husband wants to look at another woman, then so what? If I want to look at another man, so what? It does not mean we are going to run off with someone else, far from it, it makes our relationship stronger if we allow each other that stretch of freedom.
If I did not have my freedom (and him likewise) to the extent to which we allow, we would not have been married for so long.
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| 84. |
15 Feb 2009 Sun 07:40 pm |
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What if jealousy starts when the other is constantly flirting with people?
Flirting is an art. It has nothing to do with infidelity, but more about charm. It is thought "proper" for example to mildly flirt with your boss´s wife/husband to make them feel special
Dont give flirting a bad name! 
Flirting should be practised often and the world would be a nicer place
Edited (2/15/2009) by TheAenigma
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| 85. |
15 Feb 2009 Sun 08:47 pm |
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Flirting is an art. It has nothing to do with infidelity, but more about charm. It is thought "proper" for example to mildly flirt with your boss´s wife/husband to make them feel special
Dont give flirting a bad name!
Flirting should be practised often and the world would be a nicer place
agreed - unless he does it often and in front of my very own eyes... he should be also good at doing it!
PS. ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH your boss´ relatives?
Edited (2/15/2009) by portokal
[an important adaggio]
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| 86. |
15 Feb 2009 Sun 08:51 pm |
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Flirting is an art. It has nothing to do with infidelity, but more about charm. It is thought "proper" for example to mildly flirt with your boss´s wife/husband to make them feel special
Dont give flirting a bad name!
Flirting should be practised often and the world would be a nicer place
From what I know of Turkish culture, that is a recipe for disaster! Ahh....the fun of cultural differences....
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| 87. |
15 Feb 2009 Sun 09:11 pm |
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From what I know of Turkish culture, that is a recipe for disaster!Ahh....the fun of cultural differences....
Though I am sure, that turkish men do not loose a chance to throw a charming and admirative look at the boss´s wife...
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| 88. |
15 Feb 2009 Sun 09:22 pm |
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Though I am sure, that turkish men do not loose a chance to throw a charming and admirative look at the boss´s wife...
Well, I think most Turkish men are very careful how they look at the boss´s wife. I think the term respectful is more like it. Flirting with the boss´s wife would not be a good career move, generally speaking..........
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| 89. |
17 Feb 2009 Tue 10:53 am |
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Edited (Feb 15) by portokal [an important adaggio]
Wonderful!
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| 90. |
19 Feb 2009 Thu 09:25 am |
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I am not going decry anything anyone has written here because that is your view and you are entitled to that view. But please listen when some of us say we are not jealous.
I wrote how long I had been married and I have never been jealous. If my husband wants to look at another woman, then so what? If I want to look at another man, so what? It does not mean we are going to run off with someone else, far from it, it makes our relationship stronger if we allow each other that stretch of freedom.
If I did not have my freedom (and him likewise) to the extent to which we allow, we would not have been married for so long.
There are many ways of keeping your freedom; marriying a Turkish man is not one of the smartest ways.
Edited (2/19/2009) by AlphaF
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