Turkish Politics |
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Is there rights for foreigners in Turkey?
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1. |
26 Feb 2009 Thu 12:22 am |
Merhaba!
Here is a little history on this question-
For those who do not know I am planning to become an ESL teacher, well I have found a good ESL program but I have read a lot of horror stories of schools unlawfully breaking their contracts and refusing to pay employees or giving below living pay. Some of these schools are in Turkey and usually do it because the teachers are immigrants (most illegal) and give them below standard pay and threaten with Police or deportation if they try to expose the corruption. So the schools take advantage of their workers. Shame on the schools and illegal workers
The Question:
I will be a legal ESL teacher so deportation is not a concern. What would happen if I came across a school/employer who tries to pull this stunt? Would I have any right to stand up and report to the authorities and get what is lawfully mine?
Thanks!
Edited (2/26/2009) by burnish
Edited (2/26/2009) by burnish
[forgot to proof read!]
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2. |
26 Feb 2009 Thu 06:09 pm |
I can give links to the schools which do it, but I think I am better off going to a real university or public school. I assume the schools were private schools, based in Europe so I doubt a Turkish University or public school would do that ( I could be wrong)
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3. |
26 Feb 2009 Thu 07:27 pm |
THE GRAMMAR POLICE:
If you are a teacher, I have a question.... shouldn´t the title read "are there rights...."?
Edited (2/26/2009) by TheAenigma
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4. |
26 Feb 2009 Thu 07:48 pm |
THE GRAMMAR POLICE:
If you are a teacher, I have a question.... shouldn´t the title read "are there rights...."?
"nodding head" - for Turkish friends this means "yes"
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5. |
26 Feb 2009 Thu 08:54 pm |
THE GRAMMAR POLICE:
If you are a teacher, I have a question.... shouldn´t the title read "are there rights...."?
Go back to your mean girl gang!
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6. |
26 Feb 2009 Thu 08:55 pm |
Go back to your mean girl gang!
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7. |
26 Feb 2009 Thu 08:56 pm |
Go back to your mean girl gang!
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8. |
26 Feb 2009 Thu 08:57 pm |
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9. |
26 Feb 2009 Thu 08:59 pm |
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Edited (2/26/2009) by girleegirl
[oops....a bit over the top....made the page stretchy!! ]
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10. |
26 Feb 2009 Thu 09:01 pm |
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah I know, I know.... dunno who has my brain today!
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11. |
26 Feb 2009 Thu 09:03 pm |
Will this be the MGG logo?
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12. |
26 Feb 2009 Thu 09:05 pm |
Yeah I know, I know.... dunno who has my brain today!
I think babyglam has it.
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13. |
26 Feb 2009 Thu 09:05 pm |
Will this be the MGG logo?
Yesssssssssss you are a genius
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14. |
26 Feb 2009 Thu 10:25 pm |
Merhaba,
Are you a licenced ESL teacher? Do you have a TESOL for example? Or, are we talking about back-packer-turned-ESL teachers here getting hired simply for being exotic native speakers. I personally do not like ESL schools in Turkey hiring unqualified native speakers simply because these individuals happen to be native speakers without a clue about teching a foreign tongue - especially their own. How much experience do you have teaching ESL? Do you speak any other languages? why Turkey? Why not Asia?
If you really have a work permit, then you have the same rights as anyone else, which doesn´t add up to much. It doesn´t have much to do with being a foreigner. Being in the court system in Turkey is the same pain in the ass whether you are a Turk or a legal foreigner with a valid work permit.
If you provide the list of the schools, then we may be able to help. There are also many forumm boards on the net for ESL teachers to share resources about such issues. Why don´t you teach ESL in your own country for example? Not that there is anything wrong with teaching in Turkey, but there are far too many people teaching ESL in Turkey simply because they couldn´t get a job in their own countries.
Merhaba!
Here is a little history on this question-
For those who do not know I am planning to become an ESL teacher, well I have found a good ESL program but I have read a lot of horror stories of schools unlawfully breaking their contracts and refusing to pay employees or giving below living pay. Some of these schools are in Turkey and usually do it because the teachers are immigrants (most illegal) and give them below standard pay and threaten with Police or deportation if they try to expose the corruption. So the schools take advantage of their workers. Shame on the schools and illegal workers
The Question:
I will be a legal ESL teacher so deportation is not a concern. What would happen if I came across a school/employer who tries to pull this stunt? Would I have any right to stand up and report to the authorities and get what is lawfully mine?
Thanks!
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15. |
26 Feb 2009 Thu 11:15 pm |
without a clue about teching a foreign tongue -
God man! You are obsessed!
Edited (2/26/2009) by TheAenigma
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16. |
26 Feb 2009 Thu 11:22 pm |
God man! You are obsessed!
Is he?isn´t he only taking care about quality and purity of foreign language teaching?just showing that it can be biting off more than one can chewA rookie himself???no way!he does not sound like
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17. |
26 Feb 2009 Thu 11:24 pm |
Is he?
He talks about tongues at EVERY opportunity!
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18. |
26 Feb 2009 Thu 11:31 pm |
tongues at EVERY opportunity!
is a tongue a new TC taboo word????well in this case he is such a bolshy one
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19. |
26 Feb 2009 Thu 11:32 pm |
I actually agree with Cynic here (in principle, I don´t know anything about ESL in Turkey). I´ve had experience when taking Spanish with a native speaker who was not a trained teacher as well as with a non-native "real" teacher. The only thing going for the native was the pronounciation and the accent. She wasn´t able to explain the grammar at all. Being a native speaker does not make one automatically qualified to teach the language, in my opinion, just as I know I wouldn´t be able to teach anybody Polish. I also had a few Turkish classes with a native speaker, and I encountered the same problem, as she wasn´t able to explain the grammar well and ultimately I think I learned much more by myself (and of course with the help of the wonderful people at TLC) than with her.
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20. |
26 Feb 2009 Thu 11:40 pm |
I actually agree with Cynic here (in principle, I don´t know anything about ESL in Turkey). I´ve had experience when taking Spanish with a native speaker who was not a trained teacher as well as with a non-native "real" teacher. The only thing going for the native was the pronounciation and the accent. She wasn´t able to explain the grammar at all. Being a native speaker does not make one automatically qualified to teach the language, in my opinion, just as I know I wouldn´t be able to teach anybody Polish. I also had a few Turkish classes with a native speaker, and I encountered the same problem, as she wasn´t able to explain the grammar well and ultimately I think I learned much more by myself (and of course with the help of the wonderful people at TLC) than with her.
Agree,and although I may sound a bit harsh here I do not personally believe that native speakers without university training make good teachers at all,ESL is just not enough.And talking from experience,which I mean knowing a lot of trained and qualified Turkish teachers of English ,foreigners do not make good teachers.First of all they treat teaching as an adventure to live in Turkey,they have no idea about the system,and they finally have no psychological knowledge and ability to pass linguistic one.
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21. |
27 Feb 2009 Fri 04:43 am |
I guess Aenigma is striking back.
In order to tech ESL, you should at least have a TESOL certificate, if not more. And that is the most basic certificate you can actually have. You need to be a uni grad to get it though. I have had one for the past 6 years and do teach ESL (for free) once a week to newly landed immigrants here at a local church. I know, it sounds odd, cynic at a church teaching ESL. Call it the community-service-instinct-of-the-asshole-called-cynic.
But, I do have an idea about how being a native speaker of any langauge doesn´t qualify you immediately to be a teacher of that language. After all, I am not a native speaker, but would be able to tell you the history of the English language better than most native speakers I know. I would also be able to explain a lot of the irregulairities of the grammar better as I had to learn them from scratch rather than acquire them naturally as a mother tongue. Additionally, as knowing something doesn´t automatically mean that you will be able to teach it, I took the time to learn how to teach something in a classroom setting.
I cannot stand it when pupils ask a basic question about the grammar and the so called native speaker is tongue tied simply because she doesn´t know what the past participle of an infinitive refers to. Or, when a student asks about ´should´, the native speaker offers the pristine form of ´should of done´ instead of ´should have done´. I am not making these up by the way. There are such teachers in Turkey getting paid to teach English, while they aren´t qualified to teach in their own countries. I am not saying this is something wrong. I just don´t happen to like it. I don´t consider myself an ESL teacher either. I do it for fun. There are teachers in Turkey who have never heard of a ´lesson plan´. They just show up, and assume that the kids are going to learn from them just by listening.
There are a lot of schools in Turkey that hire back-packer-turned-ESL-teachers simply because these indivduals happen to be native speakers. I don´t see the appeal of an Australian, who barely managed to graduate from highschool in Australia, teaching ESL in Turkey.
Edited (2/27/2009) by cynicmystic
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22. |
27 Feb 2009 Fri 05:27 am |
I see what they mean about the posts getting totally off-topic (almost immediately...)
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23. |
27 Feb 2009 Fri 10:17 pm |
What is off topic here catwoman? I asked for a list of the schools, and that has not been provided. I asked whether he or she is qualified to teach ESL, and that hasn´t been answered either. What is it that you see so off topic in our posts?
I see what they mean about the posts getting totally off-topic (almost immediately...)
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24. |
27 Feb 2009 Fri 10:26 pm |
What is off topic here catwoman? I asked for a list of the schools, and that has not been provided. I asked whether he or she is qualified to teach ESL, and that hasn´t been answered either. What is it that you see so off topic in our posts?
It was some silly comments we made Cynic - they have since been deleted, which is why the post seems strange...
EDIT: They are still there!
Edited (2/27/2009) by TheAenigma
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25. |
28 Feb 2009 Sat 12:38 am |
They got deleted?
Damn, I missed all the fun again...
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26. |
28 Feb 2009 Sat 01:00 am |
EDIT: They are still there!
Arguing with me makes people blind
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27. |
28 Feb 2009 Sat 01:07 am |
Arguing with me makes people blind
Be careful what action you equate with going blind
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28. |
28 Feb 2009 Sat 01:12 am |
Be careful what action you equate with going blind
We are Turks. ..That thing applies to you Christians.
No Turk is reported ´harmed´ with that action.
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29. |
28 Feb 2009 Sat 01:18 am |
Actually, I know all there is to know about the side effects of that ´action´. Being an active actor of that action, I testify, all rumours are true. It shrinks, blisters and you go blind.
I blame the internet.
We are Turks. ..That thing applies to you Christians.
No Turk is reported ´harmed´ with that action.
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30. |
28 Feb 2009 Sat 01:22 am |
We are Turks. ..That thing applies to you Christians.
No Turk is reported ´harmed´ with that action.
Haha! I forgot you are Turk........ so no action like that is required
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31. |
03 Mar 2009 Tue 05:40 am |
Thanks for the comments, I hope I did not offend anyone by sounding like those backpacker type
pupils. And as for the grammer I have a bad habit of MS Word fixing it for me due to writting dissertations the night before. I plan to get my CELTA first to get some expirance in, then go for my 4 year DELTA degree, so no worries of running off with my rucksack ready to teach.
Very true of native speakers not being the best, in fact native speakers have the worst habits and slang than those who studied it formally.
Also, I can feel your pain when asking about the different past particles, infinitives, irregualr verbs, and getting the famous "Well...you know thats just the way you write it"
Plus I made a post on what made learning English diffucult, just to make sure I can help others with the same problems.
And One more question: Are there any pipe organs in Turkey? I play the organ (yes... I know do not kill yourself laughing) and usually when I have time give free lessons.
Edited (3/3/2009) by burnish
Edited (3/3/2009) by burnish
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32. |
03 Mar 2009 Tue 06:05 am |
Plus it doesnt help when there are over one hundred websites for ESl teaching, advertising "Want to travel abroad, click here" (dumb people nodd yes ). Alas, there are teachers who are only holding minimal requirements being excellent teachers. But too many blonde hair blue eyed natives are being hired.
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33. |
03 Mar 2009 Tue 08:26 am |
But too many blonde hair blue eyed natives are being hired.
Have you ever thought that once you hire a blond female teacher the attendance records in classes rise dramatically?
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34. |
03 Mar 2009 Tue 08:32 am |
Have you ever thought that once you hire a blond female teacher the attendance records in classes rise dramatically?
Poor me, I´m not blond nor native English.....
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35. |
03 Mar 2009 Tue 10:15 pm |
Yes, but you can always don your dominatrix outfit and draw the crowds in.
Poor me, I´m not blond nor native English.....
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36. |
03 Mar 2009 Tue 10:18 pm |
If you provide the list of the schools that you are considering to work for, I may be able to tell you a bit about their reputations in general. I would avoid ESL academies, and would focus on highschools with prep year programs.
Quoting burnish
Thanks for the comments, I hope I did not offend anyone by sounding like those backpacker type
pupils. And as for the grammer I have a bad habit of MS Word fixing it for me due to writting dissertations the night before. I plan to get my CELTA first to get some expirance in, then go for my 4 year DELTA degree, so no worries of running off with my rucksack ready to teach.
Very true of native speakers not being the best, in fact native speakers have the worst habits and slang than those who studied it formally.
Also, I can feel your pain when asking about the different past particles, infinitives, irregualr verbs, and getting the famous "Well...you know thats just the way you write it"
Plus I made a post on what made learning English diffucult, just to make sure I can help others with the same problems.
And One more question: Are there any pipe organs in Turkey? I play the organ (yes... I know do not kill yourself laughing) and usually when I have time give free lessons.
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37. |
03 Mar 2009 Tue 10:20 pm |
Yes, but you can always don your dominatrix outfit and draw the crowds in.
You are repeating yourself with the same ´joke´. Ah, but it´s forgiven, you´re a man and they are predictable.
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38. |
04 Mar 2009 Wed 12:33 am |
It actually wasn´t a joke.
I love it when girls like you have their hearts´ broken and turn into sour grapes.
One more reason for you to don your outfit and whip away to vent off the anger.
On the other hand, you could always go back to reading romance novels.
You are repeating yourself with the same ´joke´. Ah, but it´s forgiven, you´re a man and they are predictable.
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39. |
04 Mar 2009 Wed 08:10 am |
It actually wasn´t a joke.
I love it when girls like you have their hearts´ broken and turn into sour grapes.
One more reason for you to don your outfit and whip away to vent off the anger.
On the other hand, you could always go back to reading romance novels.
Of course it wasn´t a joke, you wouldn´t recognise one even if you stumbled upon it.
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40. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 12:40 am |
I would recognize you in your special dom outfit though...
I also recognize the need to vent off some of that anger as well. I know how you feel hurt by evil dudus and want your sweet revenge.
Of course it wasn´t a joke, you wouldn´t recognise one even if you stumbled upon it.
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41. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 01:46 am |
I know how you feel hurt by evil dudus and want your sweet revenge.
You were hurt by evil dudus too?
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42. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 02:27 am |
Well, not really. I had no idea the word dudu existed until I came to TLC. Now I understand why there are so many bitter foreign chickies on this forum unable to get over their dudu experiences.
Personally, I respect the dudu. I am all for duduism. The anthem of the dudu deserves to be sang in every school yard instilling a sense of duduism in young hearts Had there been a course or a certificate program teaching how to become a dudu, I would camp outside the academy to register myself.
You were hurt by evil dudus too?
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43. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 03:02 am |
Well, not really. I had no idea the word dudu existed until I came to TLC.
Me neither, I was in the process of buying the phone when I came across this information
thank goodness for this site to educate us, TLC saved my life and my bank balance
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44. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 04:52 am |
Well, here is my first dudu attempt...
My cell phone bill is off the sky. I was hoping that you could paypal it in exchange for some tender love and care. I promise I won`t dissappoint. That way, I could call you from my cell and tell you what a sweetie you are. We could have a real romance over the cellular network, while you shower me gifts. I want gold watches, silk shirts, pointy-nosed-alligator-leather-shoes, many sex toys, skin moisturizer for my body, permanent residence in the Benelux, and my very own scooter with a cute helmet. If you can take care of these little things, I will take you to heaven.
Me neither, I was in the process of buying the phone when I came across this information
thank goodness for this site to educate us, TLC saved my life and my bank balance
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45. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 05:25 am |
Well, here is my first dudu attempt...
My cell phone bill is off the sky. I was hoping that you could paypal it in exchange for some tender love and care. I promise I won`t dissappoint. That way, I could call you from my cell and tell you what a sweetie you are. We could have a real romance over the cellular network, while you shower me gifts. I want gold watches, silk shirts, pointy-nosed-alligator-leather-shoes, many sex toys, skin moisturizer for my body, permanent residence in the Benelux, and my very own scooter with a cute helmet. If you can take care of these little things, I will take you to heaven.
aaah the scooter and helmet....that´s a new angle very good....10/10
Edited (3/5/2009) by lessluv
[too many ooohs]
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46. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 08:11 am |
I would recognize you in your special dom outfit though...
I also recognize the need to vent off some of that anger as well. I know how you feel hurt by evil dudus and want your sweet revenge.
Sorry bebegimtatlýmsekerim, I never met dudu´s like you in real life so no need for concern about my feelings. Yes, of course you would recognize dom clothing, you being a regular in places where that´s ok you should be.
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47. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 11:52 am |
Well, here is my first dudu attempt...
My cell phone bill is off the sky. I was hoping that you could paypal it in exchange for some tender love and care. I promise I won`t dissappoint. That way, I could call you from my cell and tell you what a sweetie you are. We could have a real romance over the cellular network, while you shower me gifts. I want gold watches, silk shirts, pointy-nosed-alligator-leather-shoes, many sex toys, skin moisturizer for my body, permanent residence in the Benelux, and my very own scooter with a cute helmet. If you can take care of these little things, I will take you to heaven.
If this is your first attempt I would love to see the polished version!!!
Uhmmm pointy-nosed-aligator-leather-shoes..................... obviously goes with skin tight designer jeans (flapping warm face with hand now.............. )
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48. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 06:24 pm |
Well, here is my first dudu attempt...
My cell phone bill is off the sky. I was hoping that you could paypal it in exchange for some tender love and care. I promise I won`t dissappoint. That way, I could call you from my cell and tell you what a sweetie you are. We could have a real romance over the cellular network, while you shower me gifts. I want gold watches, silk shirts, pointy-nosed-alligator-leather-shoes, many sex toys, skin moisturizer for my body, permanent residence in the Benelux, and my very own scooter with a cute helmet. If you can take care of these little things, I will take you to heaven.
Only to prevent you coming to the Benelux I almost would do/give all other things.... (*personal reminder: inform the immigration service*)
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49. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 08:03 pm |
Well, here is my first dudu attempt...
My cell phone bill is off the sky. I was hoping that you could paypal it in exchange for some tender love and care. I promise I won`t dissappoint. That way, I could call you from my cell and tell you what a sweetie you are. We could have a real romance over the cellular network, while you shower me gifts. I want gold watches, silk shirts, pointy-nosed-alligator-leather-shoes, many sex toys, skin moisturizer for my body, permanent residence in the Benelux, and my very own scooter with a cute helmet. If you can take care of these little things, I will take you to heaven.
You get a big fat ZERO from me.
Let me give you some basic lessons in duduism. Do not make your intentions known in the beginning. You have to make her believe that she´s everything you ever wanted without even hinting at the hidden agenda. You need to play on her feelings of loneliness and wanting to feel loved. Make her feel beautiful and sexy. Start telling her about your feelings - remember you´re what she has to fill the void in her life with. Once she´s swallowed the hook, you´re ready to learn how to reel her in.
Edited (3/5/2009) by Melek74
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50. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 08:17 pm |
You get a big fat ZERO from me.
Let me give you some basic lessons in duduism. Do not make your intentions known in the beginning. You have to make her believe that she´s everything you ever wanted without even hinting at the hidden agenda. You need to play on her feelings of loneliness and wanting to feel loved. Make her feel beautiful and sexy. Start telling her about your feelings - remember you´re what she has to fill the void in her life with. Once she´s swallowed the hook, you´re ready to learn how to reel her in.
Melek, how cna you be so mean to cynic? He obviously is willing to work very hard to "earn" these things!
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51. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 08:20 pm |
Melek, how cna you be so mean to cynic? He obviously is willing to work very hard to "earn" these things!
All he can do is talk about what he can do. Obviously the guy has no dudu skills. I´m just trying to help him along. He´s not going to get far with that pathetic first attempt.
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52. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 08:35 pm |
All he can do is talk about what he can do. Obviously the guy has no dudu skills. I´m just trying to help him along. He´s not going to get far with that pathetic first attempt.
And you are trying to match make him with some (lots!) of innocent tourists? Melek, how can you!!!
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53. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 08:40 pm |
The only tourist I wanna match-make is you sweetie... Go don the outfit now for me... Your dudu-in-training is awaiting hehe
And you are trying to match make him with some (lots!) of innocent tourists? Melek, how can you!!!
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54. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 08:43 pm |
Melek, how cna you be so mean to cynic? He obviously is willing to work very hard to "earn" these things!
I think he´s been either out of Turkey for too long or has never worked in a resort. I haven´t had any Dudu experiences yet (I´m not really into waiters with golden chains on their neck or they´re not into me. Can you imagine how it feels to be ignored by ALL the waiters I´ve seen in hotels? and all that in spite of being blonde and fair skinned? Or was it because I´m Polish and cannot compete with gift-sending Brits?) but reading translation requests I know what real Duduisms should look like. You start with her being the only one then say that you would like to call her but can´t as your old mobile got stolen/broken in a fight when somebody called her names and he had to protect her honour or sold in order to pay for food for your ten siblings. Once you get a new mobile your relative may fall ill and need money for operation. You may also want to be with your victim and ask her for money in order to get a visa to the UK....
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55. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 08:44 pm |
And you are trying to match make him with some (lots!) of innocent tourists? Melek, how can you!!!
Maybe the "innocent" girls need a dose of reality testing.
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56. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 08:46 pm |
Sounds like you have lots of experience with dudus melek...
Would you be my personal trainer and help me lure these tourists in? Have them swallow the hook?
I really need that scooter with the cute helmet.
You get a big fat ZERO from me.
Let me give you some basic lessons in duduism. Do not make your intentions known in the beginning. You have to make her believe that she´s everything you ever wanted without even hinting at the hidden agenda. You need to play on her feelings of loneliness and wanting to feel loved. Make her feel beautiful and sexy. Start telling her about your feelings - remember you´re what she has to fill the void in her life with. Once she´s swallowed the hook, you´re ready to learn how to reel her in.
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57. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 08:48 pm |
Sounds like you have lots of experience with dudus melek...
Would you be my personal trainer and help me lure these tourists in? Have them swallow the hook?
I really need that scooter with the cute helmet.
You have no hook yet (or a very little one he he) ... but, with proper training ...
We can negotiate my price later
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58. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 09:05 pm |
I think he´s been either out of Turkey for too long or has never worked in a resort. I haven´t had any Dudu experiences yet (I´m not really into waiters with golden chains on their neck or they´re not into me. Can you imagine how it feels to be ignored by ALL the waiters I´ve seen in hotels? and all that in spite of being blonde and fair skinned? Or was it because I´m Polish and cannot compete with gift-sending Brits?) but reading translation requests I know what real Duduisms should look like. You start with her being the only one then say that you would like to call her but can´t as your old mobile got stolen/broken in a fight when somebody called her names and he had to protect her honour or sold in order to pay for food for your ten siblings. Once you get a new mobile your relative may fall ill and need money for operation. You may also want to be with your victim and ask her for money in order to get a visa to the UK....
It´s not you DD....dudu´s aren´t interested in living in Poland. Perhaps they just thought you lived there. I think the climate in Poland is very contrary to duduism.
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59. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 09:06 pm |
You have no hook yet (or a very little one he he) ...
Melek....YOU ARE SOOOOO MEAN! I like you.....I REALLY LIKE YOU!!
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60. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 09:19 pm |
You have no hook yet (or a very little one he he) ...
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61. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 09:25 pm |
Maybe the "innocent" girls need a dose of reality testing.
But Melek, you have seen it...reality slaps these chicks in the face over and over and they just go back for more
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62. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 09:28 pm |
Ok... Second try at duduism. I guess the first attempt didn´t work too well, as I see no scooter in the horizon, nor the cute helmet.
Now we know what cynic does for his living.....he writes Harlequin novels
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63. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 09:30 pm |
Ok... Second try at duduism. I guess the first attempt didn´t work too well, as I see no scooter in the horizon, nor the cute helmet.
We are going to employ dialectic logic & luring techniques to bait the foreign victim into my hairy chest...
For this though, I will have to don my special dudu outfit of white, semi-transparent, tight speedo to show the goodie goodies. I will initiate eye contact with the target. Once noticed, I will pretend to reposition the speedo & fix the sexy wedgie. While she is taken back by the provocative sight, I will suddenly proceed to do my special Cüneyt Arkýn dive (swimmers´ head-first dive, but somewhat different - somewhat unique to Turks... only we can dive that way). Once the white wicked-weasel speedo is wet and is no longer semi-transparent, but outright x-ray vision, I will pull myself out of the pool in one swift move that will enhance all my muscles. I will continue with the eye contact cobra style hypnotizing the prey stare by stare.
I will make sure I will pass by her on the way to my towel. By now, she will be in the full-monty mood unable to look anywhere else, but at the cobra. That is when I will initiate the cobra dance. I will ask if I could use her sun tan lotion to lube myself against the dangers of being exposed in the sun. She will understand, and will hand over the lube. I will start with the ankles moving slowly toward the thighs. I will compliment her on her fine choice of lotion, while doing confusing circular motions around the chest area. Particular attention will be given to the extra sensitive nipples.
By accident, I will squirt some of the lotion on the target. In fake panic, I will apologize and offer to rub it around. She will be delighted by my manners. Once the ankles, legs, chest, belly, thighs, forehead and the cheek bones are sufficiently lubed, she will be asked to lie on her belly. This will be moment for the cobra to strike. One hand on her back, the other dudu hand will swiftly get a hold of the cell & the room keys in her purse. I will stick them into my white speedo so that she won´t notice the scam. Being done with the lubing, I will lean over to her ear and whisper how much I look forward to seeing her at the resort night club tonight. I will slide away...
By the time she gets back to her room, I will have looted everything.
There will be a red rose on the bed and a message scribbled on the mirror in red lip stick.
You have just been DUDUed...
A minus 5! This isn´t dudu-ism but just plain theft / robbery. Try again balým, you can do better!
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64. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 09:31 pm |
You sound like you are gagging to see the cobra dance...
Have any lotion?
A minus 5! This isn´t dudu-ism but just plain theft / robbery. Try again balým, you can do better!
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65. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 09:32 pm |
Ok... Second try at duduism. I guess the first attempt didn´t work too well, as I see no scooter in the horizon, nor the cute helmet.
We are going to employ dialectic logic & luring techniques to bait the foreign victim into my hairy chest...
For this though, I will have to don my special dudu outfit of white, semi-transparent, tight speedo to show the goodie goodies. I will initiate eye contact with the target. Once noticed, I will pretend to reposition the speedo & fix the sexy wedgie. While she is taken back by the provocative sight, I will suddenly proceed to do my special Cüneyt Arkýn dive (swimmers´ head-first dive, but somewhat different - somewhat unique to Turks... only we can dive that way). Once the white wicked-weasel speedo is wet and is no longer semi-transparent, but outright x-ray vision, I will pull myself out of the pool in one swift move that will enhance all my muscles. I will continue with the eye contact cobra style hypnotizing the prey stare by stare.
I will make sure I will pass by her on the way to my towel. By now, she will be in the full-monty mood unable to look anywhere else, but at the cobra. That is when I will initiate the cobra dance. I will ask if I could use her sun tan lotion to lube myself against the dangers of being exposed in the sun. She will understand, and will hand over the lube. I will start with the ankles moving slowly toward the thighs. I will compliment her on her fine choice of lotion, while doing confusing circular motions around the chest area. Particular attention will be given to the extra sensitive nipples.
By accident, I will squirt some of the lotion on the target. In fake panic, I will apologize and offer to rub it around. She will be delighted by my manners. Once the ankles, legs, chest, belly, thighs, forehead and the cheek bones are sufficiently lubed, she will be asked to lie on her belly. This will be moment for the cobra to strike. One hand on her back, the other dudu hand will swiftly get a hold of the cell & the room keys in her purse. I will stick them into my white speedo so that she won´t notice the scam. Being done with the lubing, I will lean over to her ear and whisper how much I look forward to seeing her at the resort night club tonight. I will slide away...
By the time she gets back to her room, I will have looted everything.
There will be a red rose on the bed and a message scribbled on the mirror in red lip stick.
You have just been DUDUed...
Crikey!
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66. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 09:32 pm |
Now we know what cynic does for his living.....he writes Harlequin novels
Is his nick Caroline Anderson, the fabulous writer of ´Practically Perfect´? Oohhhh, can I have his autograph you think? <almost fainting>
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67. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 09:33 pm |
Ok... Second try at duduism. I guess the first attempt didn´t work too well, as I see no scooter in the horizon, nor the cute helmet.
We are going to employ dialectic logic & luring techniques to bait the foreign victim into my hairy chest...
For this though, I will have to don my special dudu outfit of white, semi-transparent, tight speedo to show the goodie goodies. I will initiate eye contact with the target. Once noticed, I will pretend to reposition the speedo & fix the sexy wedgie. While she is taken back by the provocative sight, I will suddenly proceed to do my special Cüneyt Arkýn dive (swimmers´ head-first dive, but somewhat different - somewhat unique to Turks... only we can dive that way). Once the white wicked-weasel speedo is wet and is no longer semi-transparent, but outright x-ray vision, I will pull myself out of the pool in one swift move that will enhance all my muscles. I will continue with the eye contact cobra style hypnotizing the prey stare by stare.
I would be careful with the transparent speedo, she might notice the socks you stuck in there .
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68. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 09:34 pm |
You mean the Caroline Anderson who was eternally dudued and ended up writing romance?
Is his nick Caroline Anderson, the fabulous writer of ´Practically Perfect´? Oohhhh, can I have his autograph you think? <almost fainting>
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69. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 09:34 pm |
Now that I have recovered from the shock... I liked it A kind of "sexed up" Raffles!
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70. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 09:35 pm |
You sound like you are gagging to see the cobra dance...
Have any lotion?
Earthworm dances by fat hairy men is not what gets me ´in the mood´. Lotion? Sure, this one is specially bought for you:
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71. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 09:36 pm |
I would be careful with the transparent speedo, she might notice the socks you stuck in there .
Lots of socks!
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72. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 09:37 pm |
I will gladly rub you with it...
Just to get you in the mood.
I am sure you will pump wonders like a piston in an engine, hehe...
Earthworm dances by fat hairy men is not what gets me ´in the mood´. Lotion? Sure, this one is specially bought for you:
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73. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 09:38 pm |
Lots of socks!
Lesson in duduism no.2
Camouflage your flaws! Even if they are tiny ones! (Especially the tiny ones)
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74. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 09:43 pm |
I will gladly rub you with it...
Just to get you in the mood.
I am sure you will pump wonders like a piston in an engine, hehe...
Thanks but no thanks, when I need sandpaper I´ll think of your hands.
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75. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 09:48 pm |
Ok... Second try at duduism. I guess the first attempt didn´t work too well, as I see no scooter in the horizon, nor the cute helmet.
We are going to employ dialectic logic & luring techniques to bait the foreign victim into my hairy chest...
For this though, I will have to don my special dudu outfit of white, semi-transparent, tight speedo to show the goodie goodies. I will initiate eye contact with the target. Once noticed, I will pretend to reposition the speedo & fix the sexy wedgie. While she is taken back by the provocative sight, I will suddenly proceed to do my special Cüneyt Arkýn dive (swimmers´ head-first dive, but somewhat different - somewhat unique to Turks... only we can dive that way). Once the white wicked-weasel speedo is wet and is no longer semi-transparent, but outright x-ray vision, I will pull myself out of the pool in one swift move that will enhance all my muscles. I will continue with the eye contact cobra style hypnotizing the prey stare by stare.
I will make sure I will pass by her on the way to my towel. By now, she will be in the full-monty mood unable to look anywhere else, but at the cobra. That is when I will initiate the cobra dance. I will ask if I could use her sun tan lotion to lube myself against the dangers of being exposed in the sun. She will understand, and will hand over the lube. I will start with the ankles moving slowly toward the thighs. I will compliment her on her fine choice of lotion, while doing confusing circular motions around the chest area. Particular attention will be given to the extra sensitive nipples.
By accident, I will squirt some of the lotion on the target. In fake panic, I will apologize and offer to rub it around. She will be delighted by my manners. Once the ankles, legs, chest, belly, thighs, forehead and the cheek bones are sufficiently lubed, she will be asked to lie on her belly. This will be moment for the cobra to strike. One hand on her back, the other dudu hand will swiftly get a hold of the cell & the room keys in her purse. I will stick them into my white speedo so that she won´t notice the scam. Being done with the lubing, I will lean over to her ear and whisper how much I look forward to seeing her at the resort night club tonight. I will slide away...
By the time she gets back to her room, I will have looted everything with a rose in my teeth.
There will be a red rose on the bed and a message scribbled on the mirror in red lip stick.
You have just been DUDUed...
This has made my day! But watch out for the women wearing shades........
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76. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 10:12 pm |
Ok... Second try at duduism. I guess the first attempt didn´t work too well, as I see no scooter in the horizon, nor the cute helmet.
We are going to employ dialectic logic & luring techniques to bait the foreign victim into my hairy chest...
For this though, I will have to don my special dudu outfit of white, semi-transparent, tight speedo to show the goodie goodies. I will initiate eye contact with the target. Once noticed, I will pretend to reposition the speedo & fix the sexy wedgie. While she is taken back by the provocative sight, I will suddenly proceed to do my special Cüneyt Arkýn dive (swimmers´ head-first dive, but somewhat different - somewhat unique to Turks... only we can dive that way). Once the white wicked-weasel speedo is wet and is no longer semi-transparent, but outright x-ray vision, I will pull myself out of the pool in one swift move that will enhance all my muscles. I will continue with the eye contact cobra style hypnotizing the prey stare by stare.
I will make sure I will pass by her on the way to my towel. By now, she will be in the full-monty mood unable to look anywhere else, but at the cobra. That is when I will initiate the cobra dance. I will ask if I could use her sun tan lotion to lube myself against the dangers of being exposed in the sun. She will understand, and will hand over the lube. I will start with the ankles moving slowly toward the thighs. I will compliment her on her fine choice of lotion, while doing confusing circular motions around the chest area. Particular attention will be given to the extra sensitive nipples.
By accident, I will squirt some of the lotion on the target. In fake panic, I will apologize and offer to rub it around. She will be delighted by my manners. Once the ankles, legs, chest, belly, thighs, forehead and the cheek bones are sufficiently lubed, she will be asked to lie on her belly. This will be moment for the cobra to strike. One hand on her back, the other dudu hand will swiftly get a hold of the cell & the room keys in her purse. I will stick them into my white speedo so that she won´t notice the scam. Being done with the lubing, I will lean over to her ear and whisper how much I look forward to seeing her at the resort night club tonight. I will slide away...
By the time she gets back to her room, I will have looted everything.
There will be a red rose on the bed and a message scribbled on the mirror in red lip stick.
You have just been DUDUed...
Cynic, you have gone totally in the wrong direction....this made me vomit in my mouth a little!
You need only look at a woman with your killer good looks.....and you can steal her heart away. The power doesn´t come from your clothes (or lack of) it comes from your Turkishness! USE THE FORCE, YOUNG APPRENTICE!!
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77. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 10:17 pm |
this made me vomit in my mouth a little!
Ouuuhhhhhh....those are the exact words that got one of my posts deleted!!!
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78. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 10:19 pm |
Ouuuhhhhhh....those are the exact words that got one of my posts deleted!!!
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa................ok....it made the contents of my stomach move in an upward direction! IS THAT BETTER!!!
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79. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 10:24 pm |
Ouuuhhhhhh....those are the exact words that got one of my posts deleted!!!
Not by me!
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80. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 10:25 pm |
Not by me!
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81. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 10:44 pm |
Was it????
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82. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 10:48 pm |
Was it????
It was.
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83. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 11:38 pm |
This young dudu has been hurt by your ruthless rejection...
Well, I guess I will think of you, when I need dried salmon...
Sorry, I meant smoked. Or, cured. Or, better yet, canned...
Thanks but no thanks, when I need sandpaper I´ll think of your hands.
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84. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 11:40 pm |
It was.
It was one of those "mystery" deletes
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85. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 11:50 pm |
Oh, believe me. I have tried to stun the ladies with my killer looks many times. I have given them the sharp critical look; the serious & intellectual look; the horny-thick-bamboo-u-want-sum-baybee look; the elimi-sallasam-ellisi look; and even the I-offer-free-foot-rubs look.
None worked, except for the hypnotizing-cobra-look... I have been forced into this. Please understand me.
Cynic, you have gone totally in the wrong direction....this made me vomit in my mouth a little!
You need only look at a woman with your killer good looks.....and you can steal her heart away. The power doesn´t come from your clothes (or lack of) it comes from your Turkishness! USE THE FORCE, YOUNG APPRENTICE!!
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86. |
05 Mar 2009 Thu 11:55 pm |
Oh, believe me. I have tried to stun the ladies with my killer looks many times. I have given them the sharp critical look; the serious & intellectual look; the horny-thick-bamboo-u-want-sum-baybee look; the elimi-sallasam-ellisi look; and even the I-offer-free-foot-rubs look.
None worked, except for the hypnotizing-cobra-look... I have been forced into this. Please understand me.
Wonderful
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87. |
06 Mar 2009 Fri 12:11 am |
Oh, believe me. I have tried to stun the ladies with my killer looks many times. I have given them the sharp critical look; the serious & intellectual look; the horny-thick-bamboo-u-want-sum-baybee look; the elimi-sallasam-ellisi look; and even the I-offer-free-foot-rubs look.
None worked, except for the hypnotizing-cobra-look... I have been forced into this. Please understand me.
Yep, I can understand that and if you want to discuss further I can give you my msn, mobile and any other form of communication you need............. and a new pair of transparent speedos will be in the post
Edited (3/6/2009) by libralady
[Oooops spelling again....]
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88. |
06 Mar 2009 Fri 12:13 am |
Oh dear this has gone right off topic and I, a serious mod, is partly responsible
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89. |
06 Mar 2009 Fri 12:13 am |
Do you mean to say you find my cobra charm captivating???
Yep, I can understand that and if you want to discuss further I can give you my msn, mobile and any other form of communication you need............. and a new pair of transparent speedos will be in the post
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90. |
06 Mar 2009 Fri 09:34 pm |
I think you should start an Adventures of Dudu and Dudu GuRu column or thread. Can´t wait until the next episode........very funny!
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91. |
07 Mar 2009 Sat 12:23 am |
Adventures of a young DuDu - episode 2
To be continued...
Wow! This is a very good story, Cynicmystic!
Congratulations!
And, well, looking forward for the new adventurous episodes of the saga!
Fingers crossed for hero-DuDu to find wisdom.
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92. |
07 Mar 2009 Sat 12:25 am |
bags full of expensive cosmetics & parfumes, a wardrobe of expensive silk shirts
Ouuhhh you sound just like a girly girl!!! I hadn´t taken you for the feminine type but whatever....there can never be enough girls to go shopping with!
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93. |
07 Mar 2009 Sat 12:40 am |
Adventures of a young DuDu - episode 2
Absolutely brilliant!
Ama .... how did he know I am from Iceland?
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94. |
07 Mar 2009 Sat 07:21 pm |
Adventures of a young DuDu - episode 3
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE post these in your column, so they can be easily found again and so, when I have picked myself up off the floor from laughing, I can easily read it again!
Genius!!!!!
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95. |
07 Mar 2009 Sat 07:32 pm |
Quoting cynicmystic
Adventures of a young DuDu - episode 2
Adventures of a young DuDu - episode 3
To be continued...
Well, now I have stopped laughing, I wonder how long it took you to write this incredulous credible and brilliantly written "novel??" about Dudus!
Edited (3/7/2009) by libralady
[Looking forward to the next chapter...........]
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96. |
07 Mar 2009 Sat 07:36 pm |
Don´t you think they would ban me forever if I posted this in my column?
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE post these in your column, so they can be easily found again and so, when I have picked myself up off the floor from laughing, I can easily read it again!
Genius!!!!!
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97. |
07 Mar 2009 Sat 08:40 pm |
Don´t you think they would ban me forever if I posted this in my column?
I don´t know about being banned...They are brilliant essays that need to be made sticky for easier retrieval.
Congratulations!
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98. |
07 Mar 2009 Sat 08:59 pm |
Cynicmystic has reposted his ´Adventure Story´ under a separate thread so I have deleted the relevant posts from this thread. You can now read them here
Edited (3/7/2009) by lady in red
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99. |
07 Mar 2009 Sat 10:42 pm |
Cynicmystic has reposted his ´Adventure Story´ under a separate thread so I have deleted the relevant posts from this thread. You can now read them here
yuppi!
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