Adventures of a young DuDu - episode 4
Despite his failure to track down the evil Ice witch, our hero felt somewhat better tonight. Just to get his mind off things, he had decided to reward himself with some evening desert. After four months spent in an endless, and seemingly fruitless witch hunt, our hero was feeling the urge to release that manly tension, which had been building up in his DuDu parts. It was time to let the cobra out of the sack. It was time to let it dance and spit its venom. It had been too long. The juice had to flow.
In the evening, he met with BigBang, one of her long-time sweetie pies that he had been keeping on the payroll for occasions just as this one. Having danced the cobra for so many cobra charmers in his circus career, our hero knew that it paid well to have a few handy numbers listed under the booty call category. He had always found it amazing that some women, regardless of how much he degraded them and hurt their feelings, would still care for a player. It was as if the more hurt he would cause, the more attached they would become. The harder he would yank the ponytail and yell "Who is your DuDu?", the louder they would moan "Uuuhh, you know whooo...uuuhh". BigBang was one of those women.
He had nicknamed her BigBang for her big assets and her amazing skills in hammering the nail just the right way. He recalled from years ago how she had blushed like a school girl getting ready for her first kiss, when he had told her about how he had decided to name her the Big Bang. But, such fond memories were in the past. He didn´t play word games anymore. There was no need to. After making her pay for the four mojitos he had at the hotel bar, while walking to the elevators, our hero could not stop his eyes from scanning the visible thong line on her silky beige dress. He admired her high pointy heels and delighted himself with the tick tack sounds she made on the marble floor. The high heel, as well as the thong & the bikini, were the greatest inventions of mankind - more precisely of men. It was certain that dommy high heels must have been invented by a foreign DuDu man, who had been sick of watching women walking around in flat-sole Roman sandals.
Had it been in his younger days, our hero would have made the first move in the elevator. He would have hit the stop button with a smirk on his face, and the cobra dance would have begun. But, the world had changed. There were more hidden cameras than people on the planet these days. He didn´t want to risk drawing unnecessary attention to himself. His mission was too critical to be jeopardized by thoughtless acts. As he placed the "Do Not Disturb" sign and locked the door, BigBang had already slipped out of her silk dress. She was staring at him intensely.
As swift as a Tsunami, our hero felt her burning hand slap him really hard across the face.
- You haven´t called once in 8 months, you scum... Not even a text message...you little...
Another sudden left hand tsunami was followed by two other right ones. Most Turkish men, under such dire circumstances, would not hold back. But, our hero knew better. He knew exactly what came after a lovers´ quarrel. Noticing the glow in her eyes, he smiled. It was time to let the cobra out.
After two hours of sliding and crawling on the bed, BigBang seemed ready to give birth to a new universe. Her breathing had changed, and her lips had become dry. Holding him tightly with both hands, she was looking deeply into his eyes. Moving her body, she was pulling him closer and closer with her feet. Noticing her flushed cheeks and the reddening skin on her chest, our hero decided that it was time to take his revenge for the tsunamis he had endured. It was time for the "Thousand Love Thrusts". Part of the "Tao of Loving", the oldest known sexual manual in existence, predating the Kama Sutra, this special art of stimulation was still recommended today by modern day sexologists. Its philosophy was simple. "Stimulate the Lotus, but do not harm the Petals."
He started counting silently in his mind, making sure that he counted the numbers in Icelandic.
Nine shallow thrusts just sticking the head of the cobra in the nest, and one full entry. Eight shallow inspections just through the door, and two full-fledged invasions. Seven shallow knocks on the door, and three ruthless burglaries. Six is-there-anybody-homes, and four home-runs.
By the time he had reached the shallow dive number two, BigBang was howling like a werewolf. One more tease, and nine deep drills, the cobra coiled in his new nest. No other words exchanged, they held each other thight and fell asleep.
Our hero did not feel at peace though. He felt like a caged animal. Lately, his dreams had been replaced by nightmares involving his futile chase after the DuDu-Killer. He tried to dream about his moment of glory to come, but all he could hear around him were sinister laughter coming from faceless nymphs. In desperation, he tried to scream, but his screams were drowned in dull silence. At that moment, he recognized the slowly emerging figure of the Old Man together with another face that he did not recognize. He was relieved to see the old bastard.
- Aahhh Rookie, I see that you have been busy tonight. We are indeed impressed by your counting skills in Icelandic, and the way you watered that lotus. Hahaha....- It is so good to see you Master. But I feel ashamed. I have failed you so far.
- You haven´t failed anyone, rookie. Chill out! I had told you that the path was arduous and it would not be easy. I just wanted to stop by to say hello and let you know that you are on the right track. No DuDu that has ever pursued the witch like you have had lasted this long.
All this time, while listening to his wise words, our hero could not stop staring at the strange character standing and grinning next to the old bastard. This character, less than one meter in height, was wearing a pair of tight, semi-transparent spandex pants displaying a really strange outgrowth extending from his loin to his ankles. It almost looked as if he had hidden something like a fire hose in his aerobics pants.
- Oohhh, how rude of me to bypass the introductions. This is my friend, the Giant Dwarf. We have been lucid dreaming for years now. I thought he could guide you in your quest.
Our hero realized why the strange fellow was called the Giant Dwarf. Despite his small stature, the gods had obviously blessed him with a true python in the meat department. The Giant Dwarf broke the silence:
- I respect your efforts Cobra, but I also feel that your energy is misdirected. You have been seeking answers in the wrong places. You have been asking the wrong questions. You won´t nail the witch by chasing her in your car from place to place. Her tactics are subtle, and your methods are mundane. You must track her not in your car, but with your mind.
- I have Giant. I have been doing all sorts of thinking all this time. It has been futile. She always manages to elude me.
- I am not talking about just thinking, Cobra. Her manner is based on stealth, and there is only one place on this world where she can be traced - the cyberworld. You must seek her out there and find out her msn. I would suggest investigating whether she has myspace or a facebook profile. Another venue that you must check at all costs to gather intelligence is a site called TLC.
- TLC? Never heard of that?
- It is a website disguised as a Turkish language site supposedly intended to help people learn Turkish. In reality, it is a DuDu joint. I am a bit surprised that you have never heard of it. All the younger generation DuDus hang there. You shall find there many DuDu-lovers, as well as broken heart DuDu-haters. Get in the forums and inquire secretly. Search their mouths. Do not disclose your real identity. Do not ever come out as a DuDu for the ice witch also lurkes there, and she will notice your presence. More importantly, refrain form the politics section. The politics section contains a virus member, who is neither a DuDu nor a DuDu-lover, but an attention-seeker. I cannot recall his nick. I think it starts with an "h"... Avoid him at all costs for the sake of your mission, and do not get the viral infection he loves to spread. Your real target is the Icelandic witch. Remember that.
Just as they had suddenly appeared, the old man and his companion, the Giant Dwarf, disappeared back into the darkness. In the silence of his dream, our hero felt a certain relief. He was grateful to the old bastard. He felt that someone had his back covered.
In the morning, the cyber search would begin.
To be continued...
I thought it was very boring and almost nasty, I think our dudu has had too much porn in his life.. 
you ruinned everything. its his style. theres no room for love.