And you were not already lost ??

Well I got very lost...because I noticed a reference to the poster being male in his original post but then it seemed to disappear!!!

And when it comes to the individual case you are talking about, excuse me asking this but is this girl having a low IQ?

What does she waiting for to finish that relationship?

He is showing every single indication that there is nothing between them, why is your friend not getting it?

And one more note, a real Turkish man would not accept that type of help you are giving, from any other man. 

If I were you, I would be quite careful about those helps.. Because most of the Turkish men would be quite picky about these things and will write off a relationship straight away  if they see the same man is turning up with help when necessary.

Well, I seemto have ruffled a few feathers here.

1. The woman is extremely intelligent.  Intelligent people get emotionally abused, too.  She is, like many many other people, hoping it will get better. That´s known as being human.  People will stay in relationships long after they should, because they have hope.

2. Real Turkish men won´t accept help. Is that right? So who is supposed to do the things that need doing? Real people accept help, it´s normal.

3. Be careful? In what way be careful?  Thats a very macho statement.

4. "If the same man is turning up with help when neccessary"  - "when neccessary" - that means something needs to be done. So why isn´t he doing the stuff himself?  Would it be Ok then if a woman was doing the helping?

5. Has anyone bothered to read any of the links, or the History Foundation  report?

6. From a Turkish  schoolbook: “We are Turkish, we are superior to everyone else.” (M. Ulusavaþ (2007), Middle School Traffic and First Aid, p. 47. Ankara: Ministry of Education Publications).

7.  What point am I missing? " First of all, being a macho man is not charactheristic of Turkish men  only but almost every men in the region of Middle East and most part of Asia." - And that makes it OK?

8. So when exactly will the level of the culture go up? -

Quote from a Department of State report - Human Rights In Turkey,  2004

link - http://www.state.gov/g/drl/rls/hrrpt/2004/41713.htm -

This was 5 years ago. Has everything changed dramatically?

It appears that most posters want to blame the women for "letting this happen", rather than accepting the fact that the men may, just possibly, be  emotional abusers.  Why is that?

Rezzyrezzy..do you have problems with Turks?just a kind of inferiority complex?bad experience or crusade in the name of all to be maiden willing to screw?no expectations-no pain..so are you advocating the compaign against Turks feeling not macho enough?or protecting"these innocent souls"?Let them experience!and stop insulting Turks,would u please?

Well, I seemto have ruffled a few feathers here.

I dont think you did (it could have been my hair )

1. The woman is extremely intelligent.  Intelligent people get emotionally abused, too.  She is, like many many other people, hoping it will get better. That´s known as being human.  People will stay in relationships long after they should, because they have hope.

Well, the case you are talking is ( according to me)  a hopeless case from the the woman´s point of view..The messages are clear and if she is not getting the message you may call it ´she is hoping´ but I will call it ´being naive´. A person should know when to finish a relation. Obviously she does not know.. 

2. Real Turkish men won´t accept help. Is that right? So who is supposed to do the

things that need doing? Real people accept help, it´s normal.

She can do many of those things you mentioned in your earlier posts.. There are many single women living and dealing with all those things by themselves..Is she disabled?

3. Be careful? In what way be careful?  Thats a very macho statement.

I would be. Because your helps might be the reason to write her off in his mind (I spent many years abroad and if my partner asked the same man for help for those type of things,the things would be different for me right now..And many of my friends work abroad if there was a person like you helping their wives, they would not stay married. That is the reason I said I would be careful)

4. "If the same man is turning up with help when neccessary"  - "when neccessary" - that means something needs to be done. So why isn´t he doing the stuff himself?  Would it be Ok then if a woman was doing the helping?

A woman should be able to deal most the things by herself..As I said, many single women are in the same situation. 

5. Has anyone bothered to read any of the links, or the History Foundation  report?

I have not..But what is it going to tell us which we dont know?

6. From a Turkish  schoolbook: “We are Turkish, we are superior to everyone else.” (M. Ulusavaþ (2007), Middle School Traffic and First Aid, p. 47. Ankara: Ministry of Education Publications).

There are more than 5000 racist references in publications from  ministry of education. But a Turk in a foreign country is a different matter. We call those racist remarks ´Turkish propaganda for Turks´ most of the times.

7.  What point am I missing? " First of all, being a macho man is not charactheristic of Turkish men  only but almost every men in the region of Middle East and most part of Asia." - And that makes it OK?

I never said that was OK..

8. So when exactly will the level of the culture go up? -

Quote from a Department of State report - Human Rights In Turkey,  2004

link - http://www.state.gov/g/drl/rls/hrrpt/2004/41713.htm -

This was 5 years ago. Has everything changed dramatically?

Increasing the level of culture is a  process and it is dynamic..

It appears that most posters want to blame the women for "letting this happen", rather than accepting the fact that the men may, just possibly, be  emotional abusers.  Why is that?

Sorry but he might be an emotional abuser or a jerk but why is this woman not finishing it and letting it continue?

Rezzyrezzy, what you´re describing does seem like an example of abuse. Your friend should have kicked that guy out of her life. Why hasn´t she done that? He´s obviously not what she wants her bf to be like so why continue?

 Rezzy has already answered this..........

Is it more convenient to stay than it is to get out of a bad relationship?? 

exactly my thoughts

And as for having no one else to turn to, since he´s no help anywhy what´s the difference?

Often women stay in crappy relationships because they think that although it´s crap at least it´s the crap I know - a pointless statement that will lead her nowhere. She´s having it rough with him, so when she gets him off her back at least she´ll have one less reason to worry

Rezzyrezzy..do you have problems with Turks?just a kind of inferiority complex?bad experience or crusade in the name of all to be maiden willing to screw?no expectations-no pain..so are you advocating the compaign against Turks feeling not macho enough?or protecting"these innocent souls"?Let them experience!and stop insulting Turks,would u please?

Lets not get personal, ay?    Remarkably informed remark, I must say.            

"Maiden all willing to screw"? "  " Let them experience"   WTF?

Once again, people in abusive relaltionships become trapped in a cycle that they cant break out of. this is a known fact, not supposition.  Read the information about emotional abuse in the link.

There are more than 5000 racist references in publications from  ministry of education. But a Turk in a foreign country is a different matter. We call those racist remarks ´Turkish propaganda for Turks´ most of the times.

Um, which means that children in Turkey are brought up to be racist, doesn´t it?  And children of those children who move to other countries take those values with them, don´t they? And thats what stays with them.

Rezzyrezzy, what you´re describing does seem like an example of abuse. Your friend should have kicked that guy out of her life. Why hasn´t she done that? He´s obviously not what she wants her bf to be like so why continue?

 Read the link about emotional abuse.

Let me clarify smoething here. We  do not live in Turkey, I have already made that clear. The woman came here at short notice to work, therefore did not have the opportunity to learn the language. In her home country, she would of course be doing all the things that were mentioned, no problem, and has done so very successfully .

But in her home country, her BF would be involved in her life. 

When I first came to live here i had to have help with daily things, and my GF helped me. Because she wanted to be involved in my life.

So, because the husband/boyfriend is not doing anything, and someone else is, he ends the relationship?

Surely, if he was doing what he was supposd to be doing, there woukd be no need for outside help?

Is it more convenient to stay than it is to get out of a bad relationship??

Good grief! Please read up on emotional abuse!