Is it more convenient to stay than it is to get out of a bad relationship??

Good grief! Please read up on emotional abuse!

Ladies and gentleman, this is me signing off.

I give up. 

All of my posts have  been based on personal experience, or the experiences of friends, or documented fact.

 I see no point in discussing this matter further.

I wish you all, happy, fulfilled lives, with stable, non-abusive, helpful,  partners.

 And to the original poster, kali1969, I wish you all the luck in the world. You´ll need it.  

I hope you are only signing off from this thread?

You should not stop posting just because some people disagree.  If that was the case I would never post a single thing

I´ll swing by occasionally. 

No, it´s not because someone disagreed with me, this discussion could go on forever, because it concerns human behaviour, both innate and learned.

And that, in itself, would take several lifetimes to get through.

 Disagreement does not equate to ignorance!

I never stated that it did.  However, persons in emotionally abusive relationships can´t just get out. That is the whole basis of the relationship, and why it is abusive. Have you never heard of battered wives´ syndrome? If people could just get out of these relationships, they would, obviously.

Heres a quote - . 

Emotional abuse victims can become so convinced that they are worthless that they believe that no one else could want them. They stay in abusive situations because they believe they have nowhere else to go. Their ultimate fear is being all alone.

I was living with him for about 6 months and now we´ve been apart for about 4 months.  I did have my own life.  I had friends in the village.  I used to go out.  I went hiking a lot.  I´m not clingy--at least I don´t think so. 

Some things have changed since we´ve been apart.  I´ve been emailing him in Turkish using a translator and now he won´t shutup.  gawd!  who knew a man could talk so much.  I really do love him and I think we had a lot of misunderstandings.  Now it is better but we haven´t seen each other for awhile either so I think he´s trying harder.

He still wants to get married and I keep saying no.  and he still wants kids.  and i keep saying no.  i don´t understand why he won´t dump me.  I´m supposed to go to Turkey in about a week to be with him.  but i´m still undecided.

he doesn´t seem to know how to relate to women.  i really don´t think he´s being malscious when he does this stupid stuff.  he´s a village boy.  a simpleton!  ha ha ha ha!  sorry, i´m being snarky now.

and yes, later i realized that he can´t teach me turkish.  He´s not able to.  i´m not angry about that anymore.

i just felt neglected by him.  i don´t think he meant to do it.  i think he just doesn´t know how to be in a relationship.   i might give it one more try this summer and see how it goes.  we can talk a lot better now.  but we still have nothing in common.

anyways, blah, blah, blah, i can go on forever about this.

cheers,

Callie

 I think this sentence says all.

Sometimes people are just not meant to be together, regardless of where they come from

yeah, we have nothing in common and you´re right sometimes people just aren´t meant to be together.  i just got done MSN-ing with him and it was his same old crap.  and all his friends were there.  and he really couldn´t be bothered with me.  it´s the end of the saga!  he wants a woman to love him and he wants one in his bed but other than that i don´t think he´s all that interested.  but damn the sex was good!  ahhh, well....next you´re the best!

rezzyrezzy,

you are right about women, you know sometimes it happens to men too, they get stuck in these abusive relationships and start believing all the crap that is either said to them or beat into them.  i´ve worked with domestic violence agencies and i´ve taken a lot of courses on gender and equality and otherness in contemporary culture.  there does seem to be something in the human condition that helps us get stuck in these horrible situations.  and i´m sorry you got "beat up" so bad on this site for your opinions had i known this site had continued on i would have come to your rescue.  i could´ve been your hero!

that being said, my soon to be EX-boyfriend was never hurtful to me.  just neglectful.  he helped me a lot with whatever i wanted/needed - it seemed to be a matter of pride for him.  in fact, he did most of the cooking, and some of the cleaning.  and i used his car whenever i wanted.  and he gave me money--not a lot.  i used to go out 2-3 nights a week without him.  he never said nothing.  he would encourage me to go out and have fun.  and he was the snuggle king!  and his was a very giving lover.

but it was more like i was his pet than his girlfriend.  he loved me like one loves a pet.  you provide for it, but really in the end it has it´s place.

i´m not sorry.  i had a great time and a shit time too.  all in all it was a grand adventure!  my first Turkish experience.  my first time in a muslim country.  i love Turkey!  it´s just a great place to be.  soon i will return to my real love - Turkey.

i hope you come back here, rezzyrezzy and see my post.  i´m going to be okay