Since there has been such an exorbitant amout of interest in my menopausal status I have decided I will post daily updates here to ensure that those concerned know where I stand. 

Thursday, August 13, 2009 - 6:09 pm PST

I am not menopausal

Thanks GG!  I don´t know how I would have gotten thru the day without knowing that. 

I think we should all post our status on this forum.....

It´s 8/14 and I have PMS!  So watch out everyone.....I might go on some kind of wild opinion rampage!!

Good idea, Lis. Well, on 14/8 my status is PPMS - even more dangerous.

 Oh dear Trudy, I am not even sure we should be in the same forum together.  We might REALLY get opinionated!!

 Yeah, and not to mention that after the PPMS, I´ll get PMS, than MS and it starts all over again.

Well, who is leaving?

 Both of you!!  This is serious business here so you both go off and start your own updates!!!! 

Oh dear..........it seems I have PMSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Friday, August 14 - 7:05 AM PST

Nope.  No changes yet. 

I almost wet my pants reading it!

Here, 14/8 no menopause, no PMS

 Oh sweetie I hear that there are really good treatments for that these days. 

 Hey, DD can post her status but Lis and I can´t? It´s not fair!

BTW: still a lot of PPMS here!

 Offfffffff!  Fine Trudy!!  Post away!  I only let DD post out of pity for her bladder control issues but you and Lis certainly have issues too so go ahead........ 

you`re a poser gg.

 And that´s not what you can say about yourself: when there´s nothing at all, one can´t pose about it.

 Says an expert on the subject? 

 Are you sure you´re not pregnant then?

 Does posing come before or after pms?    Because I think I may be posing now???

don`t worry, none of you will be able to pose after a few years.  enjoy it while you can.

8/14/09 EST: 1:44 PM 

Signs are normal...

No symptoms of craving carbs or sugar, breasts aren´t hurting and no cramping.

Conclusion not pmsing!

Oh, how I wish I was going through menopause...just without the symptoms!

 Whereas you will be able to pose for the rest of your life.....how fitting is that?

Are there? I am not sure they know treatments other than paracetamol here  

Apologies for reporting my continence problems but I was envious of all those nice abbreviations you guys were exchanging

 Check with Dr. Kitty, I am sure she has the most up to date information!  You can always just resort to diapers but that just seems so uncomely! 

Just checking in.....woke up this morning and had Hershey´s Kisses for breakfast.  I chased those down with a chocolate Slim Fast shake.  I am better now but found that my car seat felt a bit confining (had to move the seat back).  When I got into my office, I found that nobody had emptied my garbage last night.  I had Indian food for lunch yesterday so the portion that I had thrown into the waste basket was smelling like an old shoe.  After flying into a rage, I calmly sat down at my desk (after taking out the garbage MYSELF!!)  I began to cry at the injustice of it all!  Is it sooooooo difficult for the housekeeper to take my trash out?  Anyhow,   I am feeling better now! 

Tues. Aug. 18, 2009 7:30am PST - Nope...not today........

 OMG the exact same thing happened to me yesterday!  It´s eerie...almost like we were the same person!

Only it wasn´t Indian food and I wasn´t at work......

I went to get a pedicure yesterday and the water was.....TEPID!!!  Can you imagine?!?!    Why couldn´t they get the water hot?  I need hot water because since I am not menopausal I get sooooo cold!!! 

AND they didn´t have the precise shade of coral that I was looking for!   Now I have to wear close-toed shoes today because the color is just ALL WRONG!   I cried all the way home!

Ohhh the humanity!! 

 Is this your evaluation or your doctor´s (tami)? 

August 18th, 17.51 - no PMS, not menopausal only a lot of PPMS

Just for women :  one man woke up one morning and went to toilet.. ´ OMG you got born in the same time with me and you died before  me´ !

 - am I missing something? 

 Cat you know that Dr. Tam thinks that any woman over the age of 20 is menopausal.   Especially the ones that dare to have the gumption to argue with his royal highn-ass

 This must be a Turkish joke...

Were you looking for Cajun Shrimp? Opi that is?  That´s my favorite color!  Damn those people!

Woke up this morning with a pain going down my leg...lower back is aching and yep you guessed it.  All this talk about pms has brought this on...I´m a week early!I took Friday off to go shopping, but who the heck likes to shop when you feel 5-10 pounds heavier..

 Well you know that women who hang out together all get on the same cycle.  I just never knew it worked virtually too!!! 

 What a bloody place a nuns convent must be then!

 Turkish joke? or joke for Turkish who never imagine this will ever happen ( m.t. ) to them

 Yes ! His ´object´ died...and  will never ´wake up´ again 

 What about BÝRDY ??? Ãn which stade of menopause is she ?

Do birdies go through menopause?

Would someone please pass the chocolate covered pretzels?  (salt and chocolate together....what could be better?)  I think they will go nicely with my diet Coke.

I´m currently craving swedish meatballs.  Now that I think of it, why do they call them swedish meatballs?  What makes them swedish? Do they have Turkey meatballs and German meatballs..I have had cheeseballs.   I think these are valid questions.. Maybe I´ll just stick with chocolate covered pretzels.

But eeewwwwwww!  Do people really eat those? 

 That depends GG....on the hormone levels and all.  

UPDATE ON MY CONDITION:  I have moved on to butter pecan ice cream. 

Well, maybe he´s following different guidelines.. ... I personally don´t recommend going to a strange looking gynecologist.. Just wanted to know if it was a professional opinion.

 Yes kitty, of course it´s a professional opinion!  I´m a professional and it´s my opinion!   

Just returned after a little break and a very nice holiday................. but since I returned my "condition" has been a little delicate and the need for a convience close at hand is imperative (and nothing to do with the menopause  

btw I get the toilet joke - commonly used in our household!!!!  (Why is there not a smiley holding his nose???)

Oh yeh, do you want a daily update???

August 19th 17.31 - No changes.

August 19, 2009 - 9:31 PST

Woke up cranky. 

Hit my alarm clock 5 times before I crawled out of bed. 

Took shower. 

Fed kitty. 

Cried tears of sadness when I realized I had run out of Diet Coke. 

Screamed when I found a spider on my car steering wheel. 

Rolled into work 45 minutes late. 

Cried tears of joy when I found a box of chocolates left in my inbox (from an employee who just returned from a trip home to Poland). 

Bought a Diet Coke.

Opened box of chocolates. 

Not cranky anymore!!!

 A disaster!!!

 I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

There is almost nothing this stuff doesn´t cure!

 I have an idea. Can´t we start a collection ´DC for GG´? To help her through winter times?

As the unofficial spokes person for thehandsom (who refuses to post anything that can be responded to!!!), I feel it is my duty to inform everyone that thehandsom is in fact menopausal. 

 Are you sure that is a role you want????  

 I LOVE YOU TRUDY!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 Oh yes.....absolutely.  I will be writing his unauthorized biography as well!

 Oh yeah I can just see it now....

"This is the story of thehandsom....He is hairy.  He likes to stir up crap.  He is hairy.  He used to be funny.  He is hairy." 

Get your money in advance Lisa, don´t count on royalites! 

  how you dare to eat my chocolates GG????

 Anyway, I want a signed copy. With at most ten copies of this book sold, in some time mine will be worth a lot! (And if not, there might be a blackmailing chance with it....)

 Would it make you feel better if I tell you that I am not really enjoying the chocolates because I prefer milk chocolate and these are all dark????

Trudy, I think that your hysterical laugh is a bit suspicious....

 And so is the fact that you have not given any updates! 

 SHHHHHHH....don´t be silly....cat is never in heat!

+1111111111111111

Lisa knows, she buys me the right vitamins hahah

Yes, vitamins and a scratching post.....your a simple cat with simple needs!  

I would never hijack the thread that´s keeping track of your menopause canim..

she knows exactly what I need... if only she stopped playing with that awful laser that gets me so aggrivated!!

 Don´t make me laser one side of your wiskers off again, cat!

Trudy, I have already bought all the first prints, directly from the publisher.. 

In fact, I am spending my pension for doing it..So you wont be seeing them in public..

But I can send you a signed copy if you ask ´nicely´  

 Welcome to Turkish Class thehandsom..as your new Head of The Welcoming Committee I would like you to know  just because your back doesn´t mean my position will be transferred.    and yes I know you received a promotion...don´t rub it in.

Bye the way...I´m glad to see you here in the forums.

OMG, cracked me up!!!

 Did he get a promotion? Being what, head of the Translation Lounge?

 I´ve got some toblerone in the fridge which my husband bought in the airport and paid more for them than any meal we had in Turkey............. you are welcome to them.... I hate the stuff 

Still got delicate tum and taking the day off ,   so laptop and daytime TV

This is supposed to be a PMT thread to keep Tami up to date on GG´s mood swings and menopausal status!!!  

 I know but as I don´t suffer from those problems (and I didn´t want to feel left out) I thought I would keep you up to date on my delicate tum....... btw, it is OK now

 I am not aware of any promotions that he got, unless LIR or DK have done some promotions without informing the rest of the team...

 Aww, come on Cat, allow the poor guy something.....

 I think they promoted him to the head of the mid life crisis thread ................ (oh there isn´t one yet??)

 Aww Trudy you just ruined it for yourself..you could of argued you received a promotion to0.  Now kitty has no obligation to pay you anything.

 What do they pay you as ´Head of the Welcoming Comittee´? Eh?

Quid pro quo....I make new members feel welcome and she won´t delete ANY of my posts.

Stop being such a cranky, conservative, Catholic and she won´t have to! No butt kissing needed!

OMG my thread has been hijacked!!!!  I am outraged!!!!   How very dare you people!!! 

 Sorry, GG.....how are you feeling today?

Hmmmmm......today is a mixed day.  I am feeling happy that the weekend is coming but frightened of tomorrow....biggest blood drive of the year = long-ass day!!!!

 Speaking of blood, I had amazing dreams of Edward last night.

 Hey speak for yourself you red state girl.

 Now who is giving TMI?

 If I would know what TMI is (you bed Amerikans with your secret abbreviations!) then I could say if I will give or not! Now I can´t!

 Oh come on if you would do as I tell you, instead of blowing me off...you would have amazing dreams of Edward too.

 Oh this is all just getting a bit too personal girls. 

 Well, are you ´transferred´?

 shhhhhhh.....dont tell the cloggy that TMI means "too much information". 

 I won´t tell DK. My lips are sealed.

 Ohhh did I say that?  I meant that it means "tam´s mentally ill"

 That´s hardly a secret.

But now I am SURE SOMEBODY will post an article about descrimination about mentally ill people......complete WITH a link!

 Only one?

 I´m sure you are right....but I don´t care! 

 This is my Edward...remember Lis I told you to go see him.  No, but you just said...I´m not into vampires. Well, this vampire could suck my blood any day...hahahaa

Now, Teas... that was supposed to be just between you and me, as I gave no such promises to any other moderators!!

No menopause, no PMS but this earache is driving me nuts!!!

 Who cares about your earache?? This is a menopause thread, not a "tell me the story of your life" thread!!

 And you CW?

Wchat´cha mean who cares about your earache, Kitty? I should have known the heartless American Health Insurance system has sucked you in and devoid of compassion.

FYI my earache makes me irate so..Tami...bring it on, boy! Any Dobrowkis you´d like to comment on? Any more global conspiracies? I feel like giving it out to someone Muehahahahahahahahahahahaha (12has!)

 It still doesn´t sound very mean. Maybe you should try 24?

I have a twinge on my left shoulder and my better half is rubbing in some winter green as I speak. Will keep you updated.

 What is Winter Green?  Some Scottish pagan medicine or a malt whisky?

 _AE_ winter green is a liniment we use externally for muscular spasms. The malt is more of an internal remedy.

 Hmm.. might have a quick internal remedy then off to bedfordshire I think

Nighty night

Sunday, August 23, 2009 8:57 pm - PST

I am not menopausal.....but I am pretty sure bydand is!!! 

I was just thinking the same thing!!! hahaha

 I think the only person who has been getting flustered on here lately has been you GG.

 Nope, not me.  I don´t fluster very easily  

Tuesday, August 25, 2009 - 9:20 am PST

Thank you to tam-tam-a-lam-lam for reminding me to post my update.  My status is unchanged today.

I am EAGERLY awaiting tam´s thread on his status

I don`t need a status diary gg, I`m not a poser nor am I menopausal, and there is nothing wrong with my balls if you`re so intersted in them

 Well since you are so interested in me I thought I would return the favor.  And I didn´t say there is anything wrong with your balls...Ball dropping is a natural process for little boys to go through.  Don´t be ashamed of it! 

it doesn`t sound like something to be ashamed of anyway, but I`m not so sure about your menopausal mental state.

 What a great post to show your ignorance, Tami.

why are you so obsessed with male genitals, trudy? The normal women I know your age are more into knitting.

 Oh honey, I´m always interested in the faults of mother nature, so also in your case. Much more interesting than knitting.

  OMG!!!! There are not enough laughing, pointing emoticons on the planet to show how funny this is!!!  And made even better by the fact that Trudy was able to quote it before tam changed his original post!!!  I am absolutely rolling on the floor laughing my ass off at the complete and utter ignorance shown by our poor little tam!!!!!!!!!! 

 You might wanna take some lessons dude since you clearly know nothing about your own "package" 

 Pssst, GG, shall we tell him that in the evil bed US and evil bed The Netherlands every kid is told how their own body works? Or do you think that is reveiling a state secret?

 No let´s let him figure it out for himself.....its much more fun that way

I hate you trudy! I hate all the dutch!

I hate Trudy too - she´s horrible isn´t she??  

exactly!

 Mwuhahahahahahaha!!

Of course she´s horrible - not only does she come from a Christian country, her government admitted taking benefits from slavery! Moreover, she lives in a place where not only are you free to drink beer without being flogged, you may smoke the pot and survive! Another thing that makes her so bad is the fact that she knows what balls dropping is. Aren´t those reasons enough to hate her?

 I know this is supposed to be in defence, but it sounds so funny!  Trudy must be so proud

DD, you left out that she can wear horrible wooden shoes without being called out by the fashion police! 

 Can I really? I never knew! I´m on my way to buy a few pairs immediately!