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HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (lovers of words)
-- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
-- Police were called to a day care where a three-year old was resisting a rest.
-- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut
off? He´s all right now.
-- To write with a broken pencil is pointless!
-- The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
-- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.
-- The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did
a number on it.
-- The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes
was on shaky ground.
-- The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
-- A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
-- A bicycle can´t stand alone; it is two tired.
-- A will is a dead giveaway.
-- A backward poet writes inverse.
-- A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
-- With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
-- A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulted
in linoleum blownapart.
-- A calendar´s days are numbered.
-- A boiled egg is hard to beat.
-- If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .
-- When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought
she´d dye.
-- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis
-- Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I´ll show
you A-flat miner.
-- When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
-- The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully
recovered.
-- You are stuck with your debt if you can´t budge it.
-- He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
-- A plateau is a high form of flattery.
-- Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed
in the end.
-- When you´ve seen one shopping center you´ve seen a mall.
-- Santa´s helpers are subordinate clauses.
-- Acupuncture: a jab well done.
-- Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de
feet.
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