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Turkish Poetry and Literature

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ÜÇÜNCÜ ŞAHSIN ŞİİRİ
(13 Messages in 2 pages - View all)
[1] 2
1.       yilgun-2010
572 posts
 13 Jul 2010 Tue 12:38 am

ÜÇÜNCÜ ŞAHSIN ŞİİRİ

Gözlerin gözlerime değince
Felaketim olurdu ağlardım
Beni sevmiyordun bilirdim
Bir sevdiğin vardı duyardım
Çöp gibi bir oğlan ipince
Hayırsızın biriydi fikrimce
Ne vakit karşımda görsem
Öldüreceğimden korkardım
Felaketim olurdu ağlardım

Ne vakit Maçka´dan geçsem
Limanda hep gemiler olurdu
Ağaçlar kuş gibi gülerdi
Bir rüzgar aklımı alırdı
Sessizce bir cigara yakardın
Parmaklarımın ucunu yakardın
Kirpiklerini eğer bakardın
Üşürdüm içim ürperirdi
Felaketim olurdu ağlardım

Akşamlar bir roman gibi biterdi
Jezabel kan içinde yatardı
Limandan bir gemi giderdi
Sen kalkıp ona giderdin
Benzin mum gibi giderdin
Sabaha kadar kalırdın
Hayırsızın biriydi fikrimce
Güldümü cenazeye benzerdi
Hele seni kollarına alınca
Felaketim olurdu ağlardım

ATİLLA İLHAN (1925-2005)


POETRY third party

 When your eyes touch my eyes
 I would have been disastrous, to cry
 You did not love me, I´d know
 There was a favorite, I felt
 A spindly boy, ipince
 Scapegrace was one of the opinion
 What time I see my face
 Afraid I´d die
 I would have been disastrous, to cry

 What if time passes from Macka
 All ships in the harbor would be
 Trees would have laughed like a bird
 You have a silent prayer cigara
 You have to burn my fingertips
 Would bend eyelashes, would look
 I get cold, I would shudder
 I would have been disastrous, to cry

 Evening would end like a novel
 Jezabel blood would lie in
 It would go on a ship from port
 Did you get up and go to him
 Gasoline would go like a candle
 ´d Stay until morning
 Scapegrace was one of the opinion
 Did the roses to the funeral were similar
 Did you especially in your arms
 I would have been disastrous, to cry

Attila İlhan

elenagabriela and dilliduduk liked this message
2.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 13 Jul 2010 Tue 01:25 am

 

Quoting yilgun-2010

ÜÇÜNCÜ ŞAHSIN ŞİİRİ

Gözlerin gözlerime değince
Felaketim olurdu ağlardım
Beni sevmiyordun bilirdim
Bir sevdiğin vardı duyardım
Çöp gibi bir oğlan ipince
Hayırsızın biriydi fikrimce
Ne vakit karşımda görsem
Öldüreceğimden korkardım
Felaketim olurdu ağlardım

Ne vakit Maçka´dan geçsem
Limanda hep gemiler olurdu
Ağaçlar kuş gibi gülerdi
Bir rüzgar aklımı alırdı
Sessizce bir cigara yakardın
Parmaklarımın ucunu yakardın
Kirpiklerini eğer bakardın
Üşürdüm içim ürperirdi
Felaketim olurdu ağlardım

Akşamlar bir roman gibi biterdi
Jezabel kan içinde yatardı
Limandan bir gemi giderdi
Sen kalkıp ona giderdin
Benzin mum gibi giderdin
Sabaha kadar kalırdın
Hayırsızın biriydi fikrimce
Güldümü cenazeye benzerdi
Hele seni kollarına alınca
Felaketim olurdu ağlardım

ATİLLA İLHAN (1925-2005)


POETRY third party

 When your eyes touch my eyes
 I would have been disastrous, to cry
 You did not love me, I´d know
 There was a favorite, I felt
 A spindly boy, ipince
 Scapegrace was one of the opinion
 What time I see my face
 Afraid I´d die
 I would have been disastrous, to cry

 What if time passes from Macka
 All ships in the harbor would be
 Trees would have laughed like a bird
 You have a silent prayer cigara
 You have to burn my fingertips
 Would bend eyelashes, would look
 I get cold, I would shudder
 I would have been disastrous, to cry

 Evening would end like a novel
 Jezabel blood would lie in
 It would go on a ship from port
 Did you get up and go to him
 Gasoline would go like a candle
 ´d Stay until morning
 Scapegrace was one of the opinion
 Did the roses to the funeral were similar
 Did you especially in your arms
 I would have been disastrous, to cry

Attila İlhan

 

I simply love this poem..

Thanks..Who is the translator? 

I did have a go at this poem moons ago

http://www.turkishclass.com./forumTitle_28224

3.       Henry
2604 posts
 13 Jul 2010 Tue 04:58 am

What a fantastic English translation you made of this poem thehandsom Smile

I have copied it below, and made a few small changes to your English

I hope you don´t mind.

 

POEM OF THE THIRD PERSON 

Whenever your eyes met mine 
It was my tragedy, I would cry 
You never loved me, I would know 
You loved someone else, I would hear 
A slim boy, like a beanstalk 
He was unfaithful I thought 
Whenever I saw him 
I was afraid I would kill him 
It was my tragedy, I would cry 

Whenever I went through Macka 
There were always ships in the harbour 
The trees were like laughing birds 
The breeze would blow my mind away 
You would light a cigarette in silence 
You would light my fingertips 
If your eyelashes would look 
I would feel cold, my heart would tremble 
It was my tragedy, I would cry 

The nights would finish like a novel 
Jezabel would lay in blood 
A ship would depart from the dock 
You would take off to him 
You would go pale-faced * (see discussion below) 
You would stay until the morning 
He was unfaithful I thought 
When he laughed, it was like a funeral 
Especially, when he took you in his arms 
It was my tragedy, I would cry 



Edited (7/13/2010) by Henry
Edited (7/13/2010) by Henry
Edited (7/13/2010) by Henry
Edited (7/13/2010) by Henry
Edited (7/13/2010) by Henry [I was ignorant about benzin]

4.       lady in red
6947 posts
 13 Jul 2010 Tue 09:11 am

 

Quoting yilgun-2010

POETRY third party

 When your eyes touch my eyes
 I would have been disastrous, to cry
 You did not love me, I´d know
 There was a favorite, I felt
 A spindly boy, ipince
 Scapegrace was one of the opinion
 What time I see my face
 Afraid I´d die
 I would have been disastrous, to cry

 What if time passes from Macka
 All ships in the harbor would be
 Trees would have laughed like a bird
 You have a silent prayer cigara
 You have to burn my fingertips
 Would bend eyelashes, would look
 I get cold, I would shudder
 I would have been disastrous, to cry

 Evening would end like a novel
 Jezabel blood would lie in
 It would go on a ship from port
 Did you get up and go to him
 Gasoline would go like a candle
 ´d Stay until morning
 Scapegrace was one of the opinion
 Did the roses to the funeral were similar
 Did you especially in your arms
 I would have been disastrous, to cry

Attila İlhan

 

Beautiful poem in the original but there´s some very strange English in the translation and the leaving in of Turkish words smacks of google translate. 

5.       lady in red
6947 posts
 13 Jul 2010 Tue 09:27 am

 

Quoting Henry

What a fantastic English translation you made of this poem thehandsom Smile

I have copied it below, and made a few small changes to your English

I hope you don´t mind.

 

POEM OF THE THIRD PERSON 

Whenever your eyes met mine 
It was my tragedy, I would cry 
You never loved me, I would know 
You loved someone else, I would hear 
A slim boy, like a beanstalk 
He was unfaithful I thought 
Whenever I saw him 
I was afraid I would kill him 
It was my tragedy, I would cry 

Whenever I went through Macka 
There were always ships in the harbour 
The trees were like laughing birds 
The breeze would blow my mind away 
You would light a cigarette in silence 
You would light my fingertips 
If your eyelashes would look 
I would feel cold, my heart would tremble 
It was my tragedy, I would cry 

The nights would finish like a novel 
Jezabel would lay in blood 
A ship would depart from the dock 
You would take off to him 
You would go pale 
You would stay until the morning 
He was unfaithful I thought 
When he laughed, it was like a funeral 
Especially, when he took you in his arms 
It was my tragedy, I would cry 

 

Henry, what was wrong with ´You would go pale-faced´?  I thought that it should be ´you would go, pale-faced´ - meaning ´you would go (to him) with a pale face´ rather than ´your face would go pale´ (like in shock or horror).  Bit pedantic I know but the meaning is slightly different don´t you agree? However, since the translator is still alive he can tell us which one he meant!

 

Henry liked this message
6.       Henry
2604 posts
 13 Jul 2010 Tue 10:27 am

 

Quoting lady in red

Henry, what was wrong with ´You would go pale-faced´?  I thought that it should be ´you would go, pale-faced´ - meaning ´you would go (to him) with a pale face´ rather than ´your face would go pale´ (like in shock or horror).  Bit pedantic I know but the meaning is slightly different don´t you agree? However, since the translator is still alive he can tell us which one he meant!

 

Hmmm. I didn´t think about it too deeply. Now that I look at the words

benzin mum gibi - the colour of your face is like a candle

beniz + in = benzin ( many thanks to my friend Zerrin for explaining this to me, I ignorantly thought it meant petrol {#emotions_dlg.shy} 

Ahhh poetry!

It can be interpreted many ways I guess. Getting back to your original question, I had no problems with ´you would go pale-faced´. I just thought it didn´t need the ´faced´ part, but now I know I should have left that part alone.  Smile



Edited (7/13/2010) by Henry [mmm]
Edited (7/13/2010) by Henry [I have had an explanation given about benzin]

7.       vineyards
1954 posts
 13 Jul 2010 Tue 10:46 am



Edited (7/13/2010) by vineyards

8.       lady in red
6947 posts
 13 Jul 2010 Tue 03:31 pm

 

Quoting Henry

Hmmm. I didn´t think about it too deeply. Now that I look at the words

benzin mum gibi - like a fuel candle? ... I´m not sure what to put.

Maybe - You would go like a candle .....

Ahhh poetry, did the poet mean she was ready to explode (with desire), or looked like a candle, waxen and without colour?

It can be interpreted many ways I guess. Getting back to your original question, I had no problems with ´you would go pale-faced´. I just thought it didn´t need the ´faced´ part, but on reflection I should have left that part alone.  Smile

I would love thehandsom to explain his thoughts about these words.

 

After thinking a bit I found this on the site dictionary: 

beniz
,-nzi color of the face. 

 

.....so nothing to do with fuel after all ...and it must be ´the colour of your face like a candle´ i.e. ´waxy´ - (a synonym for ´waxy´ being ´pale´.  Another interpretation could be perhaps be ´glowing´ as a candle ´glows´ - only the poet knows!

Henry liked this message
9.       Henry
2604 posts
 13 Jul 2010 Tue 03:36 pm

Ahh LIR I was just modifying my post and had exactly that explained to me.

Thanks for your research as well, everything is appreciated in learning. {#emotions_dlg.flowers} 

10.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 13 Jul 2010 Tue 04:34 pm

 

Quoting yilgun-2010

ÜÇÜNCÜ ŞAHSIN ŞİİRİ

Gözlerin gözlerime değince
Felaketim olurdu ağlardım
Beni sevmiyordun bilirdim
Bir sevdiğin vardı duyardım
Çöp gibi bir oğlan ipince
Hayırsızın biriydi fikrimce
Ne vakit karşımda görsem
Öldüreceğimden korkardım
Felaketim olurdu ağlardım

Ne vakit Maçka´dan geçsem
Limanda hep gemiler olurdu
Ağaçlar kuş gibi gülerdi
Bir rüzgar aklımı alırdı
Sessizce bir cigara yakardın
Parmaklarımın ucunu yakardın
Kirpiklerini eğer bakardın
Üşürdüm içim ürperirdi
Felaketim olurdu ağlardım

Akşamlar bir roman gibi biterdi
Jezabel kan içinde yatardı
Limandan bir gemi giderdi
Sen kalkıp ona giderdin
Benzin mum gibi giderdin
Sabaha kadar kalırdın
Hayırsızın biriydi fikrimce
Güldümü cenazeye benzerdi
Hele seni kollarına alınca
Felaketim olurdu ağlardım

ATİLLA İLHAN (1925-2005)


POETRY third party

 When your eyes touch my eyes
 I would have been disastrous, to cry
 You did not love me, I´d know
 There was a favorite, I felt
 A spindly boy, ipince
 Scapegrace was one of the opinion
 What time I see my face
 Afraid I´d die
 I would have been disastrous, to cry

 What if time passes from Macka
 All ships in the harbor would be
 Trees would have laughed like a bird
 You have a silent prayer cigara
 You have to burn my fingertips
 Would bend eyelashes, would look
 I get cold, I would shudder
 I would have been disastrous, to cry

 Evening would end like a novel
 Jezabel blood would lie in
 It would go on a ship from port
 Did you get up and go to him
 Gasoline would go like a candle
 ´d Stay until morning
 Scapegrace was one of the opinion
 Did the roses to the funeral were similar
 Did you especially in your arms
 I would have been disastrous, to cry

Attila İlhan

 

Yaw Yilgun

It is fine. But why on earth you are just translating the poems with google translations and putting up here?

What is the merit in that? eh? 

 

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