Turkish Poetry and Literature |
|
|
|
ÜÇÜNCÜ ŞAHSIN ŞİİRİ
|
1. |
13 Jul 2010 Tue 12:38 am |
ÜÇÜNCÜ ŞAHSIN ŞİİRİ
Gözlerin gözlerime değince Felaketim olurdu ağlardım Beni sevmiyordun bilirdim Bir sevdiğin vardı duyardım Çöp gibi bir oğlan ipince Hayırsızın biriydi fikrimce Ne vakit karşımda görsem Öldüreceğimden korkardım Felaketim olurdu ağlardım
Ne vakit Maçka´dan geçsem Limanda hep gemiler olurdu Ağaçlar kuş gibi gülerdi Bir rüzgar aklımı alırdı Sessizce bir cigara yakardın Parmaklarımın ucunu yakardın Kirpiklerini eğer bakardın Üşürdüm içim ürperirdi Felaketim olurdu ağlardım
Akşamlar bir roman gibi biterdi Jezabel kan içinde yatardı Limandan bir gemi giderdi Sen kalkıp ona giderdin Benzin mum gibi giderdin Sabaha kadar kalırdın Hayırsızın biriydi fikrimce Güldümü cenazeye benzerdi Hele seni kollarına alınca Felaketim olurdu ağlardım
ATİLLA İLHAN (1925-2005)
POETRY third party
When your eyes touch my eyes I would have been disastrous, to cry You did not love me, I´d know There was a favorite, I felt A spindly boy, ipince Scapegrace was one of the opinion What time I see my face Afraid I´d die I would have been disastrous, to cry
What if time passes from Macka All ships in the harbor would be Trees would have laughed like a bird You have a silent prayer cigara You have to burn my fingertips Would bend eyelashes, would look I get cold, I would shudder I would have been disastrous, to cry
Evening would end like a novel Jezabel blood would lie in It would go on a ship from port Did you get up and go to him Gasoline would go like a candle ´d Stay until morning Scapegrace was one of the opinion Did the roses to the funeral were similar Did you especially in your arms I would have been disastrous, to cry
Attila İlhan
|
|
2. |
13 Jul 2010 Tue 01:25 am |
ÜÇÜNCÜ ŞAHSIN ŞİİRİ
Gözlerin gözlerime değince Felaketim olurdu ağlardım Beni sevmiyordun bilirdim Bir sevdiğin vardı duyardım Çöp gibi bir oğlan ipince Hayırsızın biriydi fikrimce Ne vakit karşımda görsem Öldüreceğimden korkardım Felaketim olurdu ağlardım
Ne vakit Maçka´dan geçsem Limanda hep gemiler olurdu Ağaçlar kuş gibi gülerdi Bir rüzgar aklımı alırdı Sessizce bir cigara yakardın Parmaklarımın ucunu yakardın Kirpiklerini eğer bakardın Üşürdüm içim ürperirdi Felaketim olurdu ağlardım
Akşamlar bir roman gibi biterdi Jezabel kan içinde yatardı Limandan bir gemi giderdi Sen kalkıp ona giderdin Benzin mum gibi giderdin Sabaha kadar kalırdın Hayırsızın biriydi fikrimce Güldümü cenazeye benzerdi Hele seni kollarına alınca Felaketim olurdu ağlardım
ATİLLA İLHAN (1925-2005)
POETRY third party
When your eyes touch my eyes I would have been disastrous, to cry You did not love me, I´d know There was a favorite, I felt A spindly boy, ipince Scapegrace was one of the opinion What time I see my face Afraid I´d die I would have been disastrous, to cry
What if time passes from Macka All ships in the harbor would be Trees would have laughed like a bird You have a silent prayer cigara You have to burn my fingertips Would bend eyelashes, would look I get cold, I would shudder I would have been disastrous, to cry
Evening would end like a novel Jezabel blood would lie in It would go on a ship from port Did you get up and go to him Gasoline would go like a candle ´d Stay until morning Scapegrace was one of the opinion Did the roses to the funeral were similar Did you especially in your arms I would have been disastrous, to cry
Attila İlhan
I simply love this poem..
Thanks..Who is the translator?
I did have a go at this poem moons ago
http://www.turkishclass.com./forumTitle_28224
|
|
3. |
13 Jul 2010 Tue 04:58 am |
What a fantastic English translation you made of this poem thehandsom
I have copied it below, and made a few small changes to your English
I hope you don´t mind.
POEM OF THE THIRD PERSON
Whenever your eyes met mine It was my tragedy, I would cry You never loved me, I would know You loved someone else, I would hear A slim boy, like a beanstalk He was unfaithful I thought Whenever I saw him I was afraid I would kill him It was my tragedy, I would cry
Whenever I went through Macka There were always ships in the harbour The trees were like laughing birds The breeze would blow my mind away You would light a cigarette in silence You would light my fingertips If your eyelashes would look I would feel cold, my heart would tremble It was my tragedy, I would cry
The nights would finish like a novel Jezabel would lay in blood A ship would depart from the dock You would take off to him You would go pale-faced * (see discussion below) You would stay until the morning He was unfaithful I thought When he laughed, it was like a funeral Especially, when he took you in his arms It was my tragedy, I would cry
Edited (7/13/2010) by Henry
Edited (7/13/2010) by Henry
Edited (7/13/2010) by Henry
Edited (7/13/2010) by Henry
Edited (7/13/2010) by Henry
[I was ignorant about benzin]
|
|
4. |
13 Jul 2010 Tue 09:11 am |
POETRY third party
When your eyes touch my eyes I would have been disastrous, to cry You did not love me, I´d know There was a favorite, I felt A spindly boy, ipince Scapegrace was one of the opinion What time I see my face Afraid I´d die I would have been disastrous, to cry
What if time passes from Macka All ships in the harbor would be Trees would have laughed like a bird You have a silent prayer cigara You have to burn my fingertips Would bend eyelashes, would look I get cold, I would shudder I would have been disastrous, to cry
Evening would end like a novel Jezabel blood would lie in It would go on a ship from port Did you get up and go to him Gasoline would go like a candle ´d Stay until morning Scapegrace was one of the opinion Did the roses to the funeral were similar Did you especially in your arms I would have been disastrous, to cry
Attila İlhan
Beautiful poem in the original but there´s some very strange English in the translation and the leaving in of Turkish words smacks of google translate.
|
|
5. |
13 Jul 2010 Tue 09:27 am |
What a fantastic English translation you made of this poem thehandsom
I have copied it below, and made a few small changes to your English
I hope you don´t mind.
POEM OF THE THIRD PERSON
Whenever your eyes met mine It was my tragedy, I would cry You never loved me, I would know You loved someone else, I would hear A slim boy, like a beanstalk He was unfaithful I thought Whenever I saw him I was afraid I would kill him It was my tragedy, I would cry
Whenever I went through Macka There were always ships in the harbour The trees were like laughing birds The breeze would blow my mind away You would light a cigarette in silence You would light my fingertips If your eyelashes would look I would feel cold, my heart would tremble It was my tragedy, I would cry
The nights would finish like a novel Jezabel would lay in blood A ship would depart from the dock You would take off to him You would go pale You would stay until the morning He was unfaithful I thought When he laughed, it was like a funeral Especially, when he took you in his arms It was my tragedy, I would cry
Henry, what was wrong with ´You would go pale-faced´? I thought that it should be ´you would go, pale-faced´ - meaning ´you would go (to him) with a pale face´ rather than ´your face would go pale´ (like in shock or horror). Bit pedantic I know but the meaning is slightly different don´t you agree? However, since the translator is still alive he can tell us which one he meant!
|
|
6. |
13 Jul 2010 Tue 10:27 am |
Quoting lady in red
Henry, what was wrong with ´You would go pale-faced´? I thought that it should be ´you would go, pale-faced´ - meaning ´you would go (to him) with a pale face´ rather than ´your face would go pale´ (like in shock or horror). Bit pedantic I know but the meaning is slightly different don´t you agree? However, since the translator is still alive he can tell us which one he meant!
Hmmm. I didn´t think about it too deeply. Now that I look at the words
benzin mum gibi - the colour of your face is like a candle
beniz + in = benzin ( many thanks to my friend Zerrin for explaining this to me, I ignorantly thought it meant petrol  
Ahhh poetry!
It can be interpreted many ways I guess. Getting back to your original question, I had no problems with ´you would go pale-faced´. I just thought it didn´t need the ´faced´ part, but now I know I should have left that part alone.
Edited (7/13/2010) by Henry
[mmm]
Edited (7/13/2010) by Henry
[I have had an explanation given about benzin]
|
|
7. |
13 Jul 2010 Tue 10:46 am |
Edited (7/13/2010) by vineyards
|
|
8. |
13 Jul 2010 Tue 03:31 pm |
Hmmm. I didn´t think about it too deeply. Now that I look at the words
benzin mum gibi - like a fuel candle? ... I´m not sure what to put.
Maybe - You would go like a candle .....
Ahhh poetry, did the poet mean she was ready to explode (with desire), or looked like a candle, waxen and without colour?
It can be interpreted many ways I guess. Getting back to your original question, I had no problems with ´you would go pale-faced´. I just thought it didn´t need the ´faced´ part, but on reflection I should have left that part alone.
I would love thehandsom to explain his thoughts about these words.
After thinking a bit I found this on the site dictionary:
beniz |
,-nzi color of the face.
|
.....so nothing to do with fuel after all ...and it must be ´the colour of your face like a candle´ i.e. ´waxy´ - (a synonym for ´waxy´ being ´pale´. Another interpretation could be perhaps be ´glowing´ as a candle ´glows´ - only the poet knows!
|
|
9. |
13 Jul 2010 Tue 03:36 pm |
Ahh LIR I was just modifying my post and had exactly that explained to me.
Thanks for your research as well, everything is appreciated in learning.
|
|
10. |
13 Jul 2010 Tue 04:34 pm |
ÜÇÜNCÜ ŞAHSIN ŞİİRİ
Gözlerin gözlerime değince Felaketim olurdu ağlardım Beni sevmiyordun bilirdim Bir sevdiğin vardı duyardım Çöp gibi bir oğlan ipince Hayırsızın biriydi fikrimce Ne vakit karşımda görsem Öldüreceğimden korkardım Felaketim olurdu ağlardım
Ne vakit Maçka´dan geçsem Limanda hep gemiler olurdu Ağaçlar kuş gibi gülerdi Bir rüzgar aklımı alırdı Sessizce bir cigara yakardın Parmaklarımın ucunu yakardın Kirpiklerini eğer bakardın Üşürdüm içim ürperirdi Felaketim olurdu ağlardım
Akşamlar bir roman gibi biterdi Jezabel kan içinde yatardı Limandan bir gemi giderdi Sen kalkıp ona giderdin Benzin mum gibi giderdin Sabaha kadar kalırdın Hayırsızın biriydi fikrimce Güldümü cenazeye benzerdi Hele seni kollarına alınca Felaketim olurdu ağlardım
ATİLLA İLHAN (1925-2005)
POETRY third party
When your eyes touch my eyes I would have been disastrous, to cry You did not love me, I´d know There was a favorite, I felt A spindly boy, ipince Scapegrace was one of the opinion What time I see my face Afraid I´d die I would have been disastrous, to cry
What if time passes from Macka All ships in the harbor would be Trees would have laughed like a bird You have a silent prayer cigara You have to burn my fingertips Would bend eyelashes, would look I get cold, I would shudder I would have been disastrous, to cry
Evening would end like a novel Jezabel blood would lie in It would go on a ship from port Did you get up and go to him Gasoline would go like a candle ´d Stay until morning Scapegrace was one of the opinion Did the roses to the funeral were similar Did you especially in your arms I would have been disastrous, to cry
Attila İlhan
Yaw Yilgun
It is fine. But why on earth you are just translating the poems with google translations and putting up here?
What is the merit in that? eh?
|
|
11. |
13 Jul 2010 Tue 05:42 pm |
Thehandsom abi, doğru, haklısın, fakat hangi tercüman daha iyi, iyi bir tercümeyi nasıl bulabilirim, onu bilemeiyorum.Bu yüzden.
Ben sizln kadar iyi ingilizce bilsem, o zaman ben tercüme etmek isterdim.
|
|
12. |
13 Jul 2010 Tue 10:34 pm |
Thehandsom abi, doğru, haklısın, fakat hangi tercüman daha iyi, iyi bir tercümeyi nasıl bulabilirim, onu bilemeiyorum.Bu yüzden.
Ben sizln kadar iyi ingilizce bilsem, o zaman ben tercüme etmek isterdim.
Dear Yilgun, I really appreciate your wish to introduce non-Turkish members to some classic of Turkish poetry , but in my opinion, it is better to not translate poetry at all than to post such kind of translations.
I suggest you to better keep on posting your fathers poetry translated by Ayla, instead of posting poetry of Turkish classic poets translated by Google
Edited (7/13/2010) by slavica
|
|
13. |
14 Jul 2010 Wed 12:33 am |
For Slavica: You are right...Thank you.
|
|
|