I am a British girl living in England and have a boyfriend who lives in Turkey. We have decided to get engaged but how does it work in Turkey exactly? Do men wear engagement rings or is it just the women? I know that the family of the groom comes and asks the brides family for hand in marriage but he doesn´t speak to his family apart from his uncle and sister, so how does this work? He says he is a muslim but isn´t a strict one if that makes sense as he drinks and smokes and doesn´t agree with some of believes muslims usually believe in.

Hope anyone can help me.

Connie

He must paint his hand ( palm? ) with henna all to know he is taken 

If u could tell where in Turkey he is from I think it would do great help for the ones who want to help you... Because there are some regional differencies when it comes to traditions... 

http://forum.kusadasi.biz/thread1159.html

this may help a bit.. 

 Seeing as your boyfriend doesn´t even talk with his family, other than an uncle and sister, it doesn´t sound like he would be following any particular traditional customs. Then the fact that you aren´t even Turkish, but living in England would make any family visiting your family pretty a very remote possibility, don´t you think?

Yes, traditionally the groom´s family would visit the potential bride to be to inquire regarding the engagement, but your case breaks the molds.

How did you meet your boyfriend? What makes you think this is a good marriage choice?  Are you sure about his not being more involved with his family?

Good luck.

Türkiye’de Nişanlılık ve Evlilik:

Kentlerde yaşayan gençlerin çoğu birbirlerini beğenir, bunu kendi ailelerine iletirler.
Eğer aileler de bu evliliği onaylarsa, düzenlenen bir davetle önce nişanlanırlar ve nişan yüzükleri takılır.
Kırsal bölgelerde ise, durum biraz farklıdır.Genelde, görücü usulü uygulanır.Tavsiye edilen kızın evine, oğlanın annesi, teyzesi ya da halası görücü sıfatıyla giderler.
Nişanlılık dönemi genellikle uzun sürmez.
Nişan ya da düğün töreni yapılması tarafların isteğine bağlıdır.tören, aile arasında da yapılabilir.
Düğün adetleri her yerde aynıdır.İlk gece "kına gecesi" yapılır.Ertesi sabah, gelin kız çıkmışsa, damat havaya üç el ateş eder ya da bu sağdıçlar aracılığıyla çevreye duyurulur.
Bu gelenek her yerde uygulanmaz.

(Basından)

 Yilgun my darling....English please

At first, the guys meet and love each other; and they let their families know this private intentions.
Then  first of all  their families must  meet and recognize each other.
If their families APPROVE this engagement and wedding decision, after that they can engage and marry.
Engagement is made among their families.
Wedding depends on private and economic situation/condition/wish…
Men must ethically buy engagement and wedding rings and other special gifts
together with women before formal marriage ceremony in the municipality marriage
office...
This is a traditional, moral and  respected Turkish culture.
Do not engage and marry without your familys approval.

Hi Connie

Firstly, congratulations!  I hope you and your future fiance will be very happy together 

Secondly, with regards to the rings, yes, as far as I´m aware, both the man and woman wear matching engagement rings, these rings are tied together with a red ribbon, during the ceremony the rings are placed on the fingers and the ribbon is cut and then you are officially engaged.  There is no wedding band ring when you get married in Turkey (please correct me if I´m wrong!) But you and your fiance can choose what type of ceremony would suit you both, or you could even choose to do both!   

For me, I think with a mixed partnership it is important to observe the traditions of each person.  You sound as if you´ve both been talking about getting married for a while, so my suggestion is why not ask him what traditions are important to him and let him know which ones are important to you and work from there, you will need to know all that anyway for when you get married.

Best of Luck Connie 

Ally