General/Off-topic |
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Culture: men and women
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03 Nov 2012 Sat 05:10 pm |
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Edited (11/4/2012) by Nixy
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03 Nov 2012 Sat 05:50 pm |
Now as a Turkish man let me be sincere. Most Turkish men think foreign women is an easy prey. There are many factors behind this attention to foreign women:
1)Making love easily (they think so)
2)Money
3)Marriage and getting a citizenship
4) Love
Edited (11/3/2012) by gokuyum
Edited (11/3/2012) by gokuyum
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3. |
03 Nov 2012 Sat 06:23 pm |
As a turkish, i can say that beware of turkish men.
There is two possibility here:
1. They are really kind and generous to foreign women with no bad intentions.
This possibility is %5 or less. Not all of them same but hard to find them.
2. They need a lifetime visa for europe or usa. This is the main reason.
Or just having fun for a couple of days including sexual intercourse.
This possibility is %95 or more.
I do not approve the second one but it is a reality. Just be careful.
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03 Nov 2012 Sat 06:29 pm |
As a turkish, i can say that beware of turkish men.
There is two possibility here:
1. They are really kind and generous to foreign women with no bad intentions.
This possibility is %5 or less. Not all of them same but hard to find them.
After these explanations I wonder if we are in this %5 or not? Men is men afterall
Edited (11/3/2012) by gokuyum
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03 Nov 2012 Sat 06:34 pm |
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Edited (11/4/2012) by Nixy
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03 Nov 2012 Sat 06:40 pm |
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Edited (11/4/2012) by Nixy
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7. |
03 Nov 2012 Sat 07:04 pm |
As long as free movement of people is not possible in our world - or it is possible for some and some not - these things will continue to happen. And I can not see it so immoral as long as no one is hurt or abused.
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03 Nov 2012 Sat 08:34 pm |
Of course, you must be sincere! I like when people speak their mind, that is one thing Swedes have problems with. We´re too diplomatic and afraid of conflict.
How else can I learn unless you tell me your truth of how you see it?
And yes, I already know that many people around the world think that all Swedish women has sex with anyone, which just isn´t true. They have sex with the man they want to, true. But not with anyone. And of course, there are Swedish women who will only have sex with the one they marry...
But what I mean is, from what I told you, is that typical for Turkish men to be so direct and so soon? Are they/you towards Turkish women too? Are Turkish women direct with how they feel about a man?
And of course, we are generalising.
Love is one thing, of course, but nobody falls in love after just two sentences.
As for the sex, you mean it´s really difficult to get a one-night-stand in Turkey, like the big cities like Istanbul or Ankara?
We are all different. I am not direct. I can say I am shy. But other people can be very direct. It is not easy for everyone to have an one-night stand in Turkey. Men here don´t respect women who made sex before marriage. So women are very cautious.
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03 Nov 2012 Sat 11:24 pm |
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Edited (11/4/2012) by Nixy
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03 Nov 2012 Sat 11:28 pm |
I´ve been married to a Turkish man for seven years now. We were friends for many years before getting together. I haven´t met many Turkish men who were in and out of relationships. In fact, many of them are quite shy and reserved. That has been my experience. I would be careful with anyone who told me that they loved me after a few emails.
Also, women in Turkey are not terribly flirtatious. From what I have experienced in Turkish culture, love is a very serious matter. It is reserved for serious relationships and marriage.
Edited (11/3/2012) by Elisabeth
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11. |
03 Nov 2012 Sat 11:30 pm |
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Edited (11/4/2012) by Nixy
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12. |
03 Nov 2012 Sat 11:37 pm |
Generally speaking sex is reserved for marriage in Turkish culture...especially for women. This is not a judgement but just commonly accepted.
Edited (11/3/2012) by Elisabeth
Edited (11/3/2012) by Elisabeth
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13. |
03 Nov 2012 Sat 11:40 pm |
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Edited (11/3/2012) by Nixy
Edited (11/3/2012) by Nixy
Edited (11/4/2012) by Nixy
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14. |
03 Nov 2012 Sat 11:44 pm |
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Edited (11/4/2012) by Nixy
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03 Nov 2012 Sat 11:51 pm |
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Edited (11/4/2012) by Nixy
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04 Nov 2012 Sun 12:01 am |
Right, so everyone marries the first woman they fall in love with? Or do people have relationships but without the sex? Nobody dates?
Honestly, I don´t think Turkish people are robots before marriage...of course they fall in love. It is just uncommon for young Turkish people to have a lot of sexual experience before marriage. Many people get married in their early 20s there too (some younger), so it´s not like they would have years of experience in dating. Also, none of the teenagers in my husbands family are allowed to "date." It just isn´t part of the culture...not from what I have seen.
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17. |
04 Nov 2012 Sun 11:14 am |
-Turkey is a country of 75 million people.
-Income is not equally distributed in Turkey.
-For some people, leaving the country is a way out.
-Waiters especially those serving tourists and the high income group get lured to their richer lives.
-Waiters are chosen for their looks and for their cleanliness.
-Many foreign girls find them attractive.
-Some of those women complain of little interest in them in their homelands.
-A fool´s paradise is instantly set up based on these principles: a poor handsome guy and a rich girl (rich here is relative).
-The great distance between the "lovers" turn this into a virtual "courtly love".
-The handsome waiter who had already undergone a cultural shock when he came to the big city in Turkey would like to intensify the experience by moving to a rich foreign city.
-His motives are often material.
-He rarely considers this a true romance.
-He rarely puts his heart into the marriage that may follow this.
-He may have a true lover back home and the whole thing may have been arranged with a certain time table.
-In many cases, they are not very different from prostitutes: voluntary sex workers.
-Many a Turk would never want to live in a country like Sweden or Finland: too cold, too dull and too diplomatic to their taste.
-I don´t think Turks and Swedes are culturally compatible with each other either.
-A strong catalyst is often needed: good looks, physical fondness, love or money. (Although this is kind of true for all relations.)
Edited (11/4/2012) by vineyards
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18. |
04 Nov 2012 Sun 11:40 am |
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Edited (11/4/2012) by Nixy
Edited (11/4/2012) by Nixy
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19. |
04 Nov 2012 Sun 11:45 am |
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Edited (11/4/2012) by Nixy
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20. |
04 Nov 2012 Sun 02:42 pm |
A quick google search indicates there are 100k Turks living in Sweden and 10k Swedes living in Turkey. Turkey´s 2012 population is over 80 million and Sweden´s is 12 million.
As you see everything is relative, "many" in the Swedish context is "few" in the Turkish one. Sweden has never been a favourite destination for Turks. (Just remember the 3 million Turks in Germany).
Many Turks emigrated to Sweden were of Kurdish origin or leftist political asylum seekers. They left the country either using this point as pretext or since some of them were the victims of brutalities. The main reason here is not cultural but political. Sweden was run by governments that would support people with a certain political view.
Interesting views, vineyard. Thank you for sharing it.
I do think it´s sad though, to hear that two cultures are incompatible. Especially since there are many Turks living in Sweden and many of them seem happy with their Swedish wives/husbands. I guess that it´s not as good as I thought.
To be honest, I´m not looking for a man or husband in any country, so it really doesn´t matter to me personally. I already know that I will be single for the rest of my life, so I have decided to focus on other things.
Interesting to read what everyone thinks. It makes me feel ashamed of being Swedish.
And of course, it makes me really sad that people probably think I am disgusting and pathetic because I´m Swedish.
Edited (11/4/2012) by vineyards
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04 Nov 2012 Sun 03:29 pm |
A quick google search indicates there are 100k Turks living in Sweden and 10k Swedes living in Turkey. Turkey´s 2012 population is over 80 million and Sweden´s is 12 million.
As you see everything is relative, "many" in the Swedish context is "few" in the Turkish one. Sweden has never been a favourite destination for Turks. (Just remember the 3 million Turks in Germany).
Many Turks emigrated to Sweden were of Kurdish origin or leftist political asylum seekers. They left the country either using this point as pretext or since some of them were the victims of brutalities. The main reason here is not cultural but political. Sweden was run by governments that would support people with a certain political view.
Yes, thank you for your views. I´m sorry for offending.
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22. |
04 Nov 2012 Sun 03:39 pm |
I incorrectly indicated Sweden´s population as 12 million. It must be 9.5 million.
You did not offend me even a bit. I don´t know why you thought like that.
In the end, we all indicate our opinions that´s all. I may not even be right. It is always nice to hear other people´s opinions.
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23. |
04 Nov 2012 Sun 03:41 pm |
I´m sorry, I realise how offensive this thread is. Please delete it and accept my apologies.
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24. |
04 Nov 2012 Sun 04:22 pm |
? This is not an offensive thread. Don´t worry.
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25. |
04 Nov 2012 Sun 04:36 pm |
Nixy, no offense was taken. This subject is just somewhat complicated given the cultural difference between Turkey and western countries.
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26. |
04 Nov 2012 Sun 05:53 pm |
It seems as if we offended Nixie somehow and not the other way around but I don´t understand what went wrong.
There are three general groups of Turkish Class users:
1- Those having a Turkish date.
2- Those using mostly the political discussion forum
3- Those wishing to learn Turkish only.
I belong to group two that´s why I jumped into this discussion.
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27. |
04 Nov 2012 Sun 07:44 pm |
It seems as if we offended Nixie somehow and not the other way around but I don´t understand what went wrong.
There are three general groups of Turkish Class users:
1- Those having a Turkish date.
2- Those using mostly the political discussion forum
3- Those wishing to learn Turkish only.
I belong to group two that´s why I jumped into this discussion.
Which group am I in?
Edited (11/4/2012) by gokuyum
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28. |
04 Nov 2012 Sun 09:11 pm |
Which group am I in?
3- Those wishing to learn Turkish ??
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29. |
04 Nov 2012 Sun 09:28 pm |
3- Those wishing to learn Turkish ??
I guess so
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30. |
04 Nov 2012 Sun 09:30 pm |
It seems as if we offended Nixie somehow and not the other way around but I don´t understand what went wrong.
There are three general groups of Turkish Class users:
1- Those having a Turkish date.
2- Those using mostly the political discussion forum
3- Those wishing to learn Turkish only.
I belong to group two that´s why I jumped into this discussion.
Again, I sincerely apologise for what I wrote. It was inappropriate and impolite to bring up such a subject.
I´m here because I want to learn the language and about the country and I will continue to read the forum quietly.
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31. |
04 Nov 2012 Sun 09:31 pm |
Put me there please near you insallah
Edited (11/4/2012) by gokuyum
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32. |
04 Nov 2012 Sun 09:42 pm |
Again, I sincerely apologise for what I wrote. It was inappropriate and impolite to bring up such a subject.
If this is the border of impoliteness, I write this message very far away from that border. It is like you are still in the USA but I am in the middle of Mexico
Edited (11/4/2012) by gokuyum
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33. |
05 Nov 2012 Mon 01:51 am |
It seems as if we offended Nixie somehow and not the other way around but I don´t understand what went wrong.
There are three general groups of Turkish Class users:
1- Those having a Turkish date.
2- Those using mostly the political discussion forum
3- Those wishing to learn Turkish only.
I belong to group two that´s why I jumped into this discussion.
My husband will be pleased to know that he is still my "date"...
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34. |
05 Nov 2012 Mon 05:22 am |
My husband will be pleased to know that he is still my "date"...
Come on Elisabeth, we all know that you enjoy the controversial political debates, like "East vs West", the ´Kurdish´ discussions, or "Abolish 301"! That´s the real reason why you´re here.. you like adding some controversy to the debate..
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35. |
05 Nov 2012 Mon 05:25 am |
As long as free movement of people is not possible in our world - or it is possible for some and some not - these things will continue to happen. And I can not see it so immoral as long as no one is hurt or abused.
But what they say is that what these men do, IS hurt and/or abuse, so how can it be immoral?
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05 Nov 2012 Mon 03:38 pm |
Come on Elisabeth, we all know that you enjoy the controversial political debates, like "East vs West", the ´Kurdish´ discussions, or "Abolish 301"! That´s the real reason why you´re here.. you like adding some controversy to the debate..
Humor maybe...controversy? Probably not. Do you want to fight about it?
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06 Nov 2012 Tue 01:09 pm |
Humor maybe...controversy? Probably not. Do you want to fight about it?
Just kidding, was really thinking about lemon. I do prefer your humor to anyone´s controversy seeking!
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38. |
13 Nov 2012 Tue 06:13 pm |
Regarding cross cultural relationships, from my observation of many such relationships, having a very close relationship with another, like a marriage, is not easy. Talk with any couple who have been together a long time and you will see.
It makes things easier when the parties involved are going on the same path culturally and spiratually. When different cultural tastes and values are involved, at first they are exciting, but after a while they can become annoying as one seeks comfort at home. Eventually the thrill of the exotic can become tedious and annoying.
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13 Nov 2012 Tue 08:59 pm |
This is so true. I find that after a number of years, my husband and I have just found a lot of common ground and stopped being so "rigid" in our beliefs. Otherwise, it would just never work.
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40. |
14 Nov 2012 Wed 02:05 am |
I think the fact you were friends for many years makes a big difference. Also, you both had a great deal of multicultural experience and awarness. When a woman from a highly developed country meets a man in Turkey who is from a remote village, it´s a very big cultural clash. It´s almost isurmountable IMHO.
I´ve been married to a Turkish man for seven years now. We were friends for many years before getting together. I haven´t met many Turkish men who were in and out of relationships. In fact, many of them are quite shy and reserved. That has been my experience. I would be careful with anyone who told me that they loved me after a few emails.
Also, women in Turkey are not terribly flirtatious. From what I have experienced in Turkish culture, love is a very serious matter. It is reserved for serious relationships and marriage.
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