The time is 6.10 right now, 2 hours later I will goto work. Iam in such a bad mood that I cant sleep. To experience such a bad thing as this with someone you love is awful. I dont know where to start, this was one of the worst days of my life. First of all, the reason I acted like that to you was because in chat a few of the men werent very genuine. As your love (or as I thought I was) I saw myself different from the other men. I said to myself ‘I wonder if she has the same conversation with everyone’ and I started to wonder if you were only talking to me for a bit of fun. In the chat people were saying stuff about you that wasnt good, there was only one way to find out whether what was said was true or not and that was to create a different character and to see if you did the same things or not. Now I dont know, are you insane? havent you got any pride? If someone loves me believe me they will do anything and if he/she believes its love you say its psitzofrenia. I say its love, because I really did love you. With my second character I used the heaviest language, the worst words to all of them you said ‘oh my’, I acted like a pervert and you didnt create a problem. You listened to me with pleasure when I saw your mistakes and that you werent bothered by any kind of unpoliteness I went even further, I pushed the limits but all you said was ‘okey’, this really upset me. But I didnt do this because of honour, and when saying it I felt for you, but the listener was the real Rabia, I had no choice but to do it because I wanted to meet the real Rabia. I had to learn your true intentions. It made me laugh, its like you werent being serious, it was as if you didnt care, I wasnt sure if it was you. After our last conversation, after saying you loved me so much, (name1) by saying I love you made me very angry, I lost myself, my suspiscions were correct I said to myself, and that was the moment when I broke down, I cant tell you how upset I was. I was so used to you, Iam not the kind of man who sits at home wasting time infront of his computer. Iam not interested in these kind of games, but when it comes to loving someone, I said to myself anything can happen. After that I lost control of myself, I know things wont be like they were before, but I still love you. I know in time I will forget, you will forget me or maybe you already have, maybe when I thought I had won you I had lost you, I made the mistake of loving you so much it hurt. And believe me if you had given me the image a girl should give, everything would have been great. Anyway I wish you every success in your life, with you every moment was great, except our fights. I hope you will recover later, and I hope you will have a happy family, all the best, good bye.
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