whom would you choose, someone who loves you or someone that you love?

Good questionCan I take 2 in 1?Seriously if I had to choose I'd rather someone taht I love.The reason are those pink glasses,that you have in front of your eyes,when he/she is next to you.Then world is so beautiful.No matter taht sonner or later it's going to end.

Me too for all the reasons martuskaa said plus even if people love you they don't necessarily treat you kindly, maybe the person who didn't love you but whom you loved would make more of an effort to be kind.

i Would also prefer the rose tinted spectacle outlook on life, because usually reality is too ugly!

Btw, I'd like to be fallen in love...I miss this felling so much.Maybe even more than guys in my life.Because I have them.I just don't have a loveOh,wear pink glasses just for 5 minutes...Mmmmm

if i had to choose between the two it would to love someone nothing bets that feeling of longing for someone but they do say better to have love and lost than not to have loved at all

It would have to be someone that I love......nothing beats that feeling

Me, i dunno! I made a choice already and I am happy with my choice but...before i continue, let me tell you the story behind.

I have a best friend he's been my friend since August 1994 when we were 12yrs old. We almost grew up together because our families are friends. He is spending alot of time in our home and me too in their home. When my mom died las 1996, his parents became my guardian. They treated me as their own daughter although, i am not living with them, every special occassions and vacations of their family they are taking me with them. We both loved each other since the first day and dreaming to marry each other but none of gave the guts to tell our feelings. Each one is thinking that we are loving just like brother's and sisters so eventhough we love each other very much we didn't end up together. He had GF's and I got married when i was 18. Eventhough, we remained friends and been fully updated with each other's lives. I still visit them regularly and when i had a daughter, i am even bringing her with me. After 4 years of my marriage, my husband left me for another lady so now i am separated and is waiting for my divorce papers to get approved. I am now here in UAE to work so me and my daughter can survive and my daughter was left with her grand ma in the Philippines. In my stay here in UAE, I met a turkish guy, he knows everything about me and he accepted me with all my past. He loves me so much and i can't rate it. I learned to love him and i really do. That's why i found this website coz i wanted to learn his language. All is well, but 1 day my best friend sent me message that he could not forget me and he still loves me even more than before. When i heard this, i felt really confused because he is someone that i been loving silently for years even when i got married, i never forget him. He told me everything that I should have known years before and asking me to fulfill our dreams together. I turned him down because I am with somebody else now. I've made up my mind no more turning back. But the thought that i've hurt my best friend is bothering me. I still feel for him but I do love my BF now. My best friend told me that he will still wait for me and if the time comes that I realized that i have made a wrong decision, he would still be there to accept me wholeheartedly, open arms and with a big smile on his face. I'm sad.. i wish i have two hearts to give for each of them but i could only choose one and I chose my turkish BF, but i think i will never have peace knowing that someone from afar is continously hurting because of me. What to do? I did what I think is right! *sigh*

Anna - your story is very touching and you must be in a serious dilemma because of it. However, you can't really romantically love two people at the same time. I think that you have to honestly ask yourself who do you really love in such a way that you can imagine yourself spending your life with. You have to be honest with yourself and with the boys and be able to say 'no' to someone. If you keep the boys in illusion that you love them, you give them hope and in the end everybody will get hurt including yourself.
One clue is that if you are with someone and get to know that person well, you might start to love him - because you know him so well and because of the experiences you shared together, especially if that person loves you. But if you are thinking about other boys somewhere deep in your heart, then it's a sign that this person is not really the one you want to be with.

Thanks catwoman, i love my BF now..I really do and I can see how happy I will be with him in the future. We are already building our dreams together. It's just that i don't want anybody to get hurt especially someone who had been a part of my life, he is my first love. I asked him to let go and move on but he is not letting go. He told me that he will never get married if not for me. He said he has been waiting all the years that we've known each other to be with me so he will not give up now. You think you can go on knowing that someone is wasting his time, love and life in waiting for you when you know for yourself that you can never give it back in return? This is torture really, i wanted to be in peace. I love my BF now and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. As of now I am leaving it all to God. What is meant to be is what will going to happen. If it's meant to be, then be it! For now, i'll just go with the flow. Live in the present and not in the past. I think that's the way it should be.

Anna, if you made up your mind as to who you want to be with, you might want to talk to your friend and tell him exactly how you feel, this way you won't hurt him by being indifferent to his feelings (especially that you share some of them) and you will help him understand what the situation is. Everybody gets hurt when they don't get what they want, but that's part of life and eventually we all have to learn to see the bigger picture and follow our own path. He should understand that you care about him as a friend and that he can count on your friendship when he needs it, but unfortunately your lifes went in different directions.
I know it's hard to reject someone and cause him pain, but in the long run, he's getting hurt more by having false hopes and illusions. I'm sure there were people who said 'no' to you too and you probably understood their decisions.
If you are not completely decided about who you want to be with, maybe you could tell your boyfriend to take things slowly so that you have time to sort things out for yourself and make the decisions you will be happy with.

good luck!

In Turkish we say:
"Zaman her şeyin ilacıdır."
"Time will heal everything."

thank you classmates! i'm really glad that i got to know this site.

All i wanted to have with my best friend is closure because I don't want to leave him hanging there. Our situation is very hard because I always have connection to his family since his parent became my guardian since my mom died. I have a regular communication with his mom and dad. They are always checking what has been happening to me even if i am away. They look at me as their own daughter. Maybe this is one of the factors that is making it hard for him to move on. Before I thought of ending all my communication with his family, i stopped sending emails and calling his mom and dad. But after 1 month his dad called me, his voice is really worried asking me what happened, why i am not responding to their emails and calls..I felt guilty. Mom and Dad knows nothing about what is happening so I just said i'm busy from work and continued communicating with them like i used to do. For that, me and him will always have connection with each other. It cannot be avoided. I just really wish and pray that he would manage to move on and find someone who would take care of him..someone who can make him forget everything about me. If she will come, i will be the first person to be glad for the both of them!