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28th of june 1998 the plane touched down at dalaman id waited a year for this moment as i had enjoyed my holiday so much the previous year in marmaris, this time it was differnt there were more members of my family so the atmosphere was good. By the time we arrivedin icmeler it was am we were staying in a newly opened apartment complex called the grand aquarium. As we walked into recpeption you could see a large beautiful aqua blue swimming pool with lights shining into it and could softly hear the sound of crickets in the background. It felt like heaven. The following night me and my cousin were walking around our beautiful complex when we got talking to some security guardos who worked there. Thier english was limited and our turkish more so , but somehow we managed to relate they told us they were brothers mehemt seref and yilmaz. Yimaz was the youngest 17 3years older than me . He was a shy boy but very pleasant. The days went on in the holiday and my cousin phil had managed to find hiself a girlfriend so i was kind of on my own at nights so about 11 oclock i would go and sit with the 3 brothers. They were lovely they would walk me to the shop and really looked after me. It was time to say goodbye yilmaz gave me his address which was in antakya he told me to write to him. I was chuft when i got home i missed him terribly more than i thought i ever would. A few weeks later i sent yilmaz a birthday card and some photos this was august 98. After a month went by a began to think yilmaz had forgot about me as i had , had no letter from him. Then on november17th 98 i hamd a letter from turkey as i opened the envelope a photo of yilmaz dropped out followed by a letter. His letter explained that hed only just returned home from icmeler and was sorry he couldnt reply earlier. He also added his home number onto this letter. That night i returned home from school and rang him he answered it was lovely to hear his voice we were laughing as if we hadnt been apart for months. I began to feel very attatched to him i would write to him every week text him everyday and ring him. We were 2 very different people miles apart but
somehow we were on the same wave legnth. I began to buy books on turkish life, turkish culture and turkish history the more i read the more i could understand him. He also went to study english in hatay. He was 18 years old but the most wonderful person i had ever met. By may99 we had fallen in love the following 3 months dragged. July 99 w the came it was time to see yilmaz again we were so excited but as i arrived in icmeler yilmaz wasnt there,i rang him instantly his brother mehmet said that yilmaz hade been in involved in a road accident on his way from hatay to marmaris and was rushed to hospital. I was devastated for 3 reasons because he had been hurt, because he wasnt in icmeler and because he was too far away i was only 15 and was unable to go to him. Luckily yilmaz was okay he had a lot of stitches in his leg and was a little sore. My holiday was ruined. I returned home and carried on writing and ringing yilmaz i couldnt help myself it was as if he was the only person who could understand me. As time went on i began to love him more and more it was clear we loved eachother so much thousands of miles away and never sadoubted him. My friends said it was crazy for getting involved with a turkish lad in turkey they didnt see the point as we were apart, i didnt care what they thought anymore i knew he was worth the seperation .me and yilmaz made a promise that we wouldnt let the distance beat us. Summer 2000 came it was my holiday time again. I arrived at the mares hotel marmaris with my familyi got off the coach and in the distance i heard a voice shout laura im here i turned and there he was my darling i hadnt seen for to years he ran to me put his arms around me and hugged me for 5 minutes it felt so wonderful, we both had tears rolling down our faces we went for a long walk by the sea and watched the sun come up together. He held my hand so tight and asked if it was okay to kiss me , we shared our first kiss together he made feel so special. The more i saw of him in the holiday the more strongly i felt.the last night of our holiday we stayed together we were young i was 16 he was 19 but we decided that we were ready to make love together. It was the first time for both of us so we were nervous but he was so loving and caring towards me i had never experienced anything as wonderful we held eachother all night until it was time for me to go.it was the worst day of my life i didnt know how long i had to wait before i could see him again. I returned home and for months i cried myself to sleep i truly loved him and couldnt get my mind off him longing to be with him, i couldnt wait until summer so i mythered my family to take me to turkey they took me to istanbul for 6 nights. Me and yilmaz were so happy to see eachother we were overjoyed we discussed our future. Then he asked me to marry him. I said yes he gave me an egagement ring and we said we would get married 3 years after so i could finish my studies. After istanbul we carried like usual .this time we tried to get yilmaz to uk as my paents have good jobs they said they would sponsor him but even so yilmaz was refused at the embassy he tried several occasions but no luck. We felt we didnt have a chance of being together lots of things went against us even the call charges went up. Then yilmaz was sent to the army weeks went by when we couldnt talk it broke my heart. A few months went by where i didnt hear anything
. I was 18 and wanted a life i started to go out with my friends they told me he musnt be intrested i started to feel lonely i wanted him so badly. One night i went to a night club i saw a lad who reminded me of yilmaz in features we began to chat it turned out he was also turkish, i warmed to him as i wanted the closest thing to yilmaz really. We began to date he was pleasant not yilmaz but i had to move on. We were together a year i became pregnant with his child we decided to marry we were happy. After our wedding he became to be aggressive disrespectful and abbusive towards me i felt a fool . Id lost my true love and my soul mate and what for an idiot i was in a mess then as my child was born in 2003, 2 weeks after i had a phone call from turkish number but i had lost my number what yimaz had got . The voice said hi honey its me yilmaz my army has finished are you ready to be my bride.?? I sobbed and told him that i was a mother to a differnt mans child and that i was married he was devastated. He told me if i was not happy to divorce my husband and go to him. But the guilt i felt was terrible i felt that we would never be togeher as we had got no chance of getting him a visa .its now 2005 and im still with my husband yilmaz still pleads for me to go and be with him but how can i do that to him i would be asking him to take on my baby and thats not fair i let him down and i wont forgive myself for that. My husband remains abbusive and my heart remains in turkey with yilmaz.
1 turkish man has given me soo much love the other has shown me nothing but hate,,,,

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Erdinc im so sorry if writing in capitals has offended you . thank you guys for all your supportive comments