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What do you think about him?
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| 1. |
08 Jan 2007 Mon 12:29 am |
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I am not sure if I should write this here but I don't have anyone whom I can talk to about this. Please give me any advice.
I met this Turkish guy through the internet 7 months ago, and both of us love each other (We never met in person yet).
But recently I have had a feeling that what he wants from me is to get a visa to live in my country.
Before he illegally lived and worked for 4 years in my country. Then he was caught and got deported.
He told me he would do anything he could do to get him back to my country and that his dream is to live and to have a life for the rest of his life.
He wants me to come to Turkey as soon as I can and he is reay to marry me.
I love him but I don't think I am ready to marry him that soon.
I also have a fear that he would be making use of me to get his dream come true.
What do you think? Should I go and meet him in Turkey?
Any kinds of advices would be appreciated.
Thank you.
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| 2. |
08 Jan 2007 Mon 12:35 am |
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Weeell - maybe you should meet him first before you agree to marrying - he might genuinely be in love with you - time will tell - but if you are asking others for advice - might it be that you are very young ? Perhaps not a good idea to be in such a hurry to enter into something permanent - enjoy your life - there's a lot of places to see and people to meet and a whole range of experiences both good and bad. Patience is key. Good luck 
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| 3. |
08 Jan 2007 Mon 12:03 pm |
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Quoting Katee: I don't think I am ready to marry him that soon.
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I think you have answered your own question - be 100% sure
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| 4. |
08 Jan 2007 Mon 03:58 pm |
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He thinks if he married me he wouldn't have to be apart from me any more.
But I don't think a marriage is that simple.
And as I said I suspects he only wants a visa from a marriage.
How can I make him understand I don't want to marry him yet?
Thank you.
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| 5. |
08 Jan 2007 Mon 04:19 pm |
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Quoting Katee:
How can I make him understand I don't want to marry him yet?
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I really don't want to sound harsh Katee, but if in a relationship (no matter what cultures involved), you find a strong difficulty to 'make someone understand' something, especially considering marriage, then something is wrong.
Two people who love each other only marry when both are ready and usually one starts to carefully open this topic only when sure the other one is ready to discuss in the first place (this may sound funny but I have a friend who was madly in love but couldnt say the words 'i love you' and when her bf said them to her she would freak out. This time has passed but she cant think of marriage yet. All things come in time.)
Would someone who knows you very well give you a romantic proposal if he/she wasn't a full 100% sure that the answer was gonna be 'yes'? No..
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| 6. |
08 Jan 2007 Mon 04:28 pm |
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Quoting Katee: He thinks if he married me he wouldn't have to be apart from me any more.
But I don't think a marriage is that simple.
And as I said I suspects he only wants a visa from a marriage.
How can I make him understand I don't want to marry him yet?
Thank you. |
Errrr tell him? 
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| 7. |
08 Jan 2007 Mon 06:59 pm |
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Quoting libralady: Quoting Katee: He thinks if he married me he wouldn't have to be apart from me any more.
But I don't think a marriage is that simple.
And as I said I suspects he only wants a visa from a marriage.
How can I make him understand I don't want to marry him yet?
Thank you. |
Errrr tell him? |
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| 8. |
08 Jan 2007 Mon 08:59 pm |
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just my opinion..but if you have 'known' the guy for seven months then surely you should know his motives or not..and i also agree that you shouldn't get married if you don't want to.
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