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Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
Plato: For the greater good.
Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.
Epicurus: For fun.
Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.
The Sphinx: You tell me.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
David Hume: Out of custom and habit.
Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter)
Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.
Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.
Othello: Jealousy.
Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.
Hamlet: That is not the question.
Donne: It crosseth for thee.
Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.
Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome, filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume to question the actions of one in all respects his superior.
Dr Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have, you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the Need to resist such a public Display of your own lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.
Constable: To get a better view.
Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.
Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.
Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.
Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in town ought never expose one to such barbarous inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the chicken in question.
Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.
Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.
Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.
Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of misplaced concreteness.
Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.
Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Salvador Dali: The Fish.
John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.
Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!
Molly Yard: It was a hen!
Ronald Reagan: I forget.
Mrs Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.
Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.
The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.
Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
Oliver North: National Security was at stake.
Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.
(quote from http://eserver.org/philosophy/chicken.txt )
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