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cultural differences kultural farklar
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| 1. |
11 Aug 2007 Sat 01:15 am |
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Turkey and the United States specifically...Turkey and other places is fine too. PERSONAL SPACE is the topic! Here are some things that got me thinking about it. I really want some Turkish peoples opinion on these examples!
Personal space and touching... My Kaynana has touched me pretty much everywhere...was she sizing me up or what? In America you would never touch anyone but your partner in these places! Is there a special privelege of a mother-in-law? Is this cultural or does she just have bad boundaries?
What about touching otherwise...here it is safe to touch people you don't know well on the back of the shoulder and that is pretty much it. Young kids you can pat on the head to show affection, I know in some countries this is not ok. In Turkey I guess it is ok to give a small child a pat on the bottom when you think they are cute, in the U.S. maybe the parents would think something and call the police! 30 years ago this would be o.k. but people in the U.S. are very worried about inappropriate touching. (look at Michael Jackson...yikes) Turkey men hold hands, arm around each other, hug and kiss on cheeks (YAY!). U.S. men usually give hugs for close family otherwise those things are signs of homosexuality between men. You might see women giving each other more hugs. In the U.S. these things vary a lot because of ethnic diversity.
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| 2. |
11 Aug 2007 Sat 08:48 am |
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There are multiple reasons that can factor into the way people feel about touching. The main one, in my opinion, is simply the individual’s personality and attitudes. Some people are just more open and affectionate and I don’t think that is necessarily culturally driven.
My sister and I have the same cultural background, were raised in the same home, have identical upbringings, but we are vastly different when it comes to touching.
I am very touchy-feely. I greet friends and family with hugs and kisses, I touch hands, arms, backs, whatever…of people I am speaking to. My sister is the total opposite.
I just think it is too simplistic to state that the concept of personal space/touching varies because of cultural diversity.
And sorry, but you are totally stereotyping American men here. I know lots of men who are comfortable enough with their own sexuality to give a friend a hug. Hopefully you weren’t meaning your comment to be inclusive of all American men.
But as to your question of what is appropriate with your mother in law, if she is feeling you up…and you aren’t comfortable with it….it ain’t cool! I don’t care WHERE you are!! 
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| 3. |
11 Aug 2007 Sat 09:13 am |
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When I meet friends and family we kiss when we meet and there is a difference with Turkey I found out. In Turkey you kiss eachother two times on the cheeks, in Holland we are used to do that three times. A few times the person I met reacted very surprised, asking why I did that, wondering what my intention was. After explaining they always laughed.
The patting on the head at children is not oke here, most parents are not afraid of 'Michael Jackson-things', but just don't want others (strangers) to touch their children. Some people feel this patting as patronizing and people originally from Surinam find it an inheritage from past slavery.
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| 4. |
11 Aug 2007 Sat 01:08 pm |
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Quote: Quote: girleegirl you missed some important things I said. I understand there are a lot of people with English as a second language so here they are. I used the word "usually" American men usually don't hug people other than close family members. Also I said this varies widely based on ethnic group. You are right personal experiences and family upbringing also play a part within the cultural, I didn't say this specifically, because I think everyone knows that. I believe this is true within all cultures because humans live in family groups and also change their behavior based on their own personal experiences.
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Is this cultural or does she just have bad boundaries? (meaning is it a personal or family bad boundaries thing.)
U.S. men usually give hugs for close family otherwise those things are signs of homosexuality between men. You might see women giving each other more hugs. In the U.S. these things vary a lot because of ethnic diversity. |
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| 5. |
11 Aug 2007 Sat 11:35 pm |
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Quote: Quote: Quoting Badiabdancer74: girleegirl you missed some important things I said. I understand there are a lot of people with English as a second language so here they are. I used the word "usually" American men usually don't hug people other than close family members. Also I said this varies widely based on ethnic group. You are right personal experiences and family upbringing also play a part within the cultural, I didn't say this specifically, because I think everyone knows that. I believe this is true within all cultures because humans live in family groups and also change their behavior based on their own personal experiences.
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Is this cultural or does she just have bad boundaries? (meaning is it a personal or family bad boundaries thing.)
U.S. men usually give hugs for close family otherwise those things are signs of homosexuality between men. You might see women giving each other more hugs. In the U.S. these things vary a lot because of ethnic diversity. |
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Actually, I knew what you meant about personal or family boundaries…...my comment about your mother-in-law "feeling-you-up" was rather tongue-in-cheek.
The word “usually†means normally or typically which, given your comment, would infer most American men feel that hugging someone who is not a relative is a sign of homosexuality…that is what I was responding to when I said you are stereotyping.
My comments were as stated, my opinion, which is that I don’t think touching and the concept of “personal space†revolve entirely around ethnicity or culture.
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