You should never feel obligided to send money to someone in Turkey, and you shouldnt feel cruel for what you said either, you were completely right to do so. I think its disgusting of him to ask you to buy him a computer! computers arent cheap.

Why do so many Turkish men get away with this? Have they no shame? Most of the messages in this forum up for translation are written by Turkish men after money, writting out romantic poems, then going on to explain how much debt they have, and that they need help. They would never ask Turkish women for help with financial problems, so why do they feel they can shamelessly ask foreign women? They seem to have no respect for foreign women at all, they just seem to see them as walking money!

i totally agree with that.. i think that its disgraceful :@

This may be true, that a lot of Turkish men may ask foreign women for money but not all. for instance my boyfriend whom i've known for a pretty long time now. he has debt and i've asked if i can help but he simply refuses,stating "no my love, you have debt. you must worry about your debt and I worry about mine." alright bye guys

Totally agree with Yabanci. I'd run away from guys like that as quick as possible. How can someone put up with that, and accept it??

Don't think that you are cruel.

hehe yeah, my man gave me 100€ when he was here, with the words:

"Stop feeling guilty when i pay, here's the money, you can pay!" i felt a bit like Pretty Woman (without the prostitute part )


But it's true, it can go the other way too. And i agree with Ceyda, it's disgraceful. It's true that most people in Holland (or most other european countries) earn more money with the same or even with less work. We just shouldn't forget that life in Holland is more expensive than life in Turkey. So in the end, those foreign women probably don't have much more to spend than 'their' Turkish men.

yep stick to your guns.I know what its like to feel as though you are being pressurised to give money but at the end of the day if they want to buy new things such as computers then they are just gonna have to get another job and save! thats what everyone else has to do.

Yeah, i don't burn my fingers on serving pancakes because i like it

In Holland it is also very normal for youth to have a parttime job, in a restaurant or a clothing-shop.. because it gains you independency and you learn how to use money.

It is a fact that you are more careful with stuff you had to save/work for yourself, than things you just get!

And plus, if they are in debt and dont have a steady job, thats their own fault. Wages might be low in Turkey, but knowing this they should try to goto university and get a steady job, rather than just working 3 months in the summer and expecting to make a living by ripping off naive tourists.

But going to university is not a very easy thing. There is a university exam and to pass that exam, one should go to a preparatory school which are private, and it costs.In the simple public schools, the education is not very good. Your chances of attending a university are not very high since there are a lot of young people trying to enter and the place is limited.
Also, even if you have succeeded to enter a university, all the things still cost. The family, usually the poor ones, opress these young men to look for a job and look after the family. There are still a lot of parents who don't value high education.
And usually, the economically poor children are not successful in their high-school life. They don't have a motivation. They don't expect a good future, they don't have hopes about their future, so they don't study hard.
Usually their parents haven't had a high education, so he hasn't been grown up getting the motivation for higher education.

And that's an excuse to rip of tourists then is it? I understand that it's not easy going to university and getting a good job in Turkey, but surely there has to be other options than simply going to the nearest touristic resort and looking for a naive foreign woman to rip off and use.