Travelling to Turkey |
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Going to Turkey in March to meet the parents!!
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| 10. |
18 Jan 2008 Fri 08:33 am |
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Quoting thehandsom: Did we all not talk about this couple of months ago?
(This site desperately needs a proper internal search engine!!hmmmm..Lucene is highly recommended dear web master)
Anyway..
What they are advicing you above Summer is very conventional. Turks wont like that!
They will think you are one of the foreign girls.
So it is better to be a bit unusual:
-You wear a tiny mini skirt for a start..
-Make sure you have a bottle of beer or wine in your hand when you arrive..
-Ask for an ashtray in first couple of minutes of arrival for your cigarette.
-you dont need to take your shoes off in the house..(very conventional, every foreign girl does that.)..
-Make sure you pay compliment to father in law and (if there are any) to your bf's brothers..Tell them how gergous looking they are..Dont be shy..
-in the middle of conversation, get up and sit on your bf's lap..show how much you love him.
- Just make sure, end of the night they should think 'you are not a conventional girl, you are unique'..
ok? |
I appreciate this. I would like to see that person so natural like you adviced, if I were a father of a boy who loves a foreigner girl. 
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| 11. |
18 Jan 2008 Fri 07:53 pm |
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Quoting Deli_kizin: Ahh dont tease the girl  I remember the first time I met his parents, but I have to say, I didnt plan anything or asked around, I just thought that respect is universal and stuck to it!
But maybe its the fact that they are not religious and that they definitely wont let me kiss their hands the big difference here |
Yes thats my situation,my fiances parents are very relaxed and won't let me kiss their hands although i feel as though i am still expected to help with cleaning up after a meal and house work etc but that is just because i am a girl,i don't mind 
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| 12. |
18 Jan 2008 Fri 09:36 pm |
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Quoting thehandsom: Did we all not talk about this couple of months ago?
(This site desperately needs a proper internal search engine!!hmmmm..Lucene is highly recommended dear web master)
Anyway..
What they are advicing you above Summer is very conventional. Turks wont like that!
They will think you are one of the foreign girls.
So it is better to be a bit unusual:
-You wear a tiny mini skirt for a start..
-Make sure you have a bottle of beer or wine in your hand when you arrive..
-Ask for an ashtray in first couple of minutes of arrival for your cigarette.
-you dont need to take your shoes off in the house..(very conventional, every foreign girl does that.)..
-Make sure you pay compliment to father in law and (if there are any) to your bf's brothers..Tell them how gergous looking they are..Dont be shy..
-in the middle of conversation, get up and sit on your bf's lap..show how much you love him.
- Just make sure, end of the night they should think 'you are not a conventional girl, you are unique'..
ok? |
Here is a rare one...a sarcastic and funny peanut!
PS: I will apologize, if it turns that women in his own family behave the way he recommends.
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| 13. |
18 Jan 2008 Fri 09:48 pm |
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| 14. |
18 Jan 2008 Fri 09:55 pm |
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You asked for cultural advice but important things have been mentioned already so I'll give you some on language. When talking to the family don't be shy to put your language skills to the test. Everyone's going to want to hear from you and it's not important that you make mistakes, everyone does in learning and I'm sure they will appreciate your trying. Especially when talking to the younger females are going to make sure you practice your turkish as they love to chat (I am yet to meet anyoen who breaks that norm ). It's also a great way to get to know the family. Let your boyfriend help on the more complicated issues.
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| 15. |
18 Jan 2008 Fri 09:57 pm |
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I would never ever be able to behave according to any rules in front of anybody's parents - just to win their approval. I would sit among the guys, I would kiss and hug my bf often, I would argue with "the father" (aka "holy cow") about how there's no freedom of speech in turkey, I definitely would NOT help with any cooking or cleaning (but I'd surely expect my bf to do it in his parents' home!). I would expect to be wined and dined on the first visit!
(at the end I'd add that turkey is the most important country in the world!)
Do you think they'd love me? 
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| 16. |
18 Jan 2008 Fri 09:58 pm |
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Serendipity
If you allow "peanut" as the highest level of personal insults in this site, this will be a very clean and polite site indeed !
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| 17. |
18 Jan 2008 Fri 10:02 pm |
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haha I'm sure they wouldn't forget you
I think it's pretty universal to behave respectfully towards potential parents in law when you first meet them but when you get to know them better everyone loses their inhibitions. In my experience anyway. I couldn't have a better relationship with mine even though I'm the one who falls out of line of the daughters in law in the family they love me to death Above all things it's important to be oneself.
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| 18. |
18 Jan 2008 Fri 10:02 pm |
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| 19. |
18 Jan 2008 Fri 10:04 pm |
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Quoting catwoman: I would never ever be able to behave according to any rules in front of anybody's parents - just to win their approval. I would sit among the guys, I would kiss and hug my bf often, I would argue with "the father" (aka "holy cow") about how there's no freedom of speech in turkey, I definitely would NOT help with any cooking or cleaning (but I'd surely expect my bf to do it in his parents' home!). I would expect to be wined and dined on the first visit!
(at the end I'd add that turkey is the most important country in the world!)
Do you think they'd love me? |
Sorry dear,
With those qualifications, you can hardly be a decent 4th wife. You should stay in your own country, and make most of the State Welfare.
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| 20. |
18 Jan 2008 Fri 10:07 pm |
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Quoting AlphaF: Sorry dear,
With those qualifications, you can hardly be a decent 4th wife. You should stay in your own country, and make most of the State Welfare. |
Well then, it's their loss!
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