General/Off-topic |
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What made you laugh today?
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| 510. |
28 Jan 2009 Wed 11:27 pm |
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Oral contraception by Woody Allen
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception.
I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said "no."
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| 511. |
31 Jan 2009 Sat 07:24 pm |
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The hysterical PM´s I am receiving from someone. And when I say hysterical, I mean it in every sense of the word.....this person is an emotional train wreck and incredibly comical!! 
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| 512. |
31 Jan 2009 Sat 08:07 pm |
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The hysterical PM´s I am receiving from someone. And when I say hysterical, I mean it in every sense of the word.....this person is an emotional train wreck and incredibly comical!!
You promised not to tell that I´ve sent you those! 
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| 513. |
31 Jan 2009 Sat 08:50 pm |
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CALMNESS IN OUR LIVES
I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we
could all use a little more calmness in our lives.
By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can
find inner peace.
Dr Phil proclaimed, ´The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all
the things you have started and have never finished.´
So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and
hadn´t finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I
finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey´s Irish
Cream, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac
pre[[script]]ion, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of
chocolates.
You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now. 
à should try this one then lol
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| 514. |
01 Feb 2009 Sun 03:26 am |
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Well I just finished reading my fifth book in a week and the last one called "Breaking Dawn" I was so engrossed in it that when I read a joke (wasn´t that hilarious) I just burst out into hysterics - My family looked at me as if I went mad!
The joke goes as follows:
How do you drown a dumb blonde?....
By sticking a mirror to the bottom of a swimming pool 
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| 515. |
05 Feb 2009 Thu 07:24 pm |
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Shrek, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were all having lunch
together.
Shrek said, ´I have always thought that I´m the strongest
man in the world, but how can I be sure?´
Angelina Jolie agreed. ´I´m told I´m the most gorgeous of
them all, but sometimes I wonder.´
Brad Pitt said, ´I´m pretty sure I´m the sexiest man alive
but I´ve never had it confirmed.´
They all decided that the best way to find out if their
beliefs were true was to ask the famed talking ´mirror, mirror on the wall´ to
confirm for them whether Shrek was the strongest, Angelina Jolie was the
most gorgeous and Brad Pitt was the sexiest.
They agreed to meet again the next day for lunch to discuss
their findings.
The next day Shrek walked up with a smile. ´Well, true. The
mirror told me that I am the strongest man in the world.´
Brad Pitt perked up and said: ´And I know for sure that I´m
the sexiest man alive.´
But Angelina Jolie lifted her sad, gorgeous face and said..
´ Who the hell is Lessluv?´
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| 516. |
05 Feb 2009 Thu 10:22 pm |
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I was in the line for a fast food take away with my younger sister, and the boy infront all of a sudden collapsed though he was conscious straight after hitting the ground. I went into first aid mode and asked if he was ok and the manager came round to call a paramedic, but what made me laugh, though at the time I made myself not laugh was he was on of these guys with his trousers half way down his bum and so when he fell over they were even more exposed, and his boxers had a HUGE hole in the back of them!
I was so shocked I didn´t know where to look  Though at is bum was far from the list
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| 517. |
05 Feb 2009 Thu 10:37 pm |
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I was in the line for a fast food take away with my younger sister, and the boy infront all of a sudden collapsed though he was conscious straight after hitting the ground. I went into first aid mode and asked if he was ok and the manager came round to call a paramedic, but what made me laugh, though at the time I made myself not laugh was he was on of these guys with his trousers half way down his bum and so when he fell over they were even more exposed, and his boxers had a HUGE hole in the back of them!
I was so shocked I didn´t know where to look Though at is bum was far from the list
Why do they wear there trousers like that? I have an urge to whip them down Really, I do not want to look some scrawny kids pants (boxers) .............
Edited (2/5/2009) by libralady
[Added: Boxers]
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| 518. |
06 Feb 2009 Fri 12:37 am |
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I have an urge to whip them down
ha ha young lady..... I will remind you etiquette in London prevents you from ´whipping´ young men!! please be mindful of this!!
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| 520. |
07 Feb 2009 Sat 12:49 pm |
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ha ha young lady..... I will remind you etiquette in London prevents you from ´whipping´ young men!! please be mindful of this!!
Depends where is london 
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