A blog with a huge collection of signs in really bad/funny English from around the world

http://engrishfunny.com/

Here´s one from Ephesus, Turkey

This made my morning, DD.

My japo friend makes the same mistakes. And I love it when she likes my new shoe lack, when Milosz becomes Mirosz or Mila Mira. (mira, fetch me a mirror).

Engrish is gut.

Got to give Sev Yalniz  respect for her continued attempts 

http://www.flatrock.org.nz/topics/terrorism/dear_president_bush.htm

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God´s Law.  I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage.  As you said, "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman."  I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.  When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination.  End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God´s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations.  A friend of mine claims that this law applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.  Can you clarify?  Why can´t I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.  In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15: 19 - 24.  The problem is how do I tell?  I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9.  The problem is my neighbours.  They claim the odour is not pleasing to them.  Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath.  Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death.  Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.  I don´t agree.  Can you settle this?  Are there "degrees" of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight.  I have to admit that I wear reading glasses.  Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27.  How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6 - 8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm.  He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend).  He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot.  Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10 - 16.  Couldn´t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws?  (Lev. 20:14)

Mr Bush, I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.  Thank you again for reminding us that God´s word is eternal and unchanging.

Daydramer...you are amazing!!! 

I support 110% anyone´s right to marry who ever (and even whatever) they want - at the end of the day, we all die alone; so who we choose to love and share our short time on this planet with is up to the individual.  Sadly, my great country is a bit slow on this matter (It was only 1967 that they woke up and realized that it was unconstititional to ban marriage based on skin color, especially since there are a milion shades of beauty).

My last thought...if anyone is against marriage to the same sex - then they should be free to marry someone of the opposite sex.  Issue closed - everyone´s happy!

fyi...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajBR0dq0XXk

for anyone who really wants to delve into this matter...educate yourselves...

Until my last breath I will be standing against the same sex marriages, even if I lose and the world ends up blessing every gay. You call me backward, uneducated, whatever. My and your happiness is not anything ultimate.

Bible says this about our times:

¹But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. ²People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, ³without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, ⁴treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— ⁵having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.

Can´t wait!

Morris, Bible doesnt contain blah blah. You dont have to wait for anything, You have it now, we all are pleasure seekers. We go after our lust and desire. We are selfish and very much self loving.

Well, you´re not giving gay people much choice, right? You´re not letting them love eachother, they might as well love themselves instead... Hairy palms!!!

You mean there were times when the above was not true? :O

My story is something that made me laugh last week .

Whilst I was staying with friends in Turkey, we had a discussion one evening about regional accents, both in England and Turkey.  Several accents were replicated as near as possible and we decided which accents we liked and disliked.  I explained that the Liverpool (not too "thick"/"broad") and Newcastle accents were favourites of mine.

This isn´t funny in itself but I had to keep a straight face whilst I was on the flight home because:

My KLM flight from Istanbul to Manchester involved a transfer at Schipol (that´s another story and not very funny ).  I got to my aisle seat in Istanbul and, after a few minutes a young woman and an older lady came to take the other two seats.  They were in conversation with each other and, although I wasn´t listening directly, I assumed they were dutch as I couldn´t understand what they were saying and we were scheduled to change at Schipol.  After about an hour the passengers were updated on the delay to the flight and many were concerned they may not make their connecting flights.  As the cabin crew completed the announcement the lady next to me turned to me and asked me, IN A VERY BROAD LIVERPUDLIAN ACCENT "Excuse me, are you flying to Manchester?"

What can I say . . . there was a lot of aircraft noise