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Temel adn Dursun (Black sea jokes)
1.       janissary
0 posts
 09 Mar 2006 Thu 11:39 am

black sea jokes are famous in turkey

here are some examples

Temel's wife is cheating on him with the man next door. And Temel is suspicious. One day, he tells his wife that he's going to Istanbul but, instead, he sneaks up to the roof of his house and hides himself. After a short while, the neighbor arrives and he and Temel's wife start making wild whoopee. And when Temel sees the deceivers with his own eyes he vows vengefully, "Ooooo, you...you...If only I wasn't in Istanbul, I'd show you a thing or two!"

Temel and Dursun are angry with one another and are not speaking... But one day, Dursun strolls by in the company of a goat -- and he meets Temel who says," Where are you going with that donkey?" And Dursun replies, "That's no donkey, it's a goat." With (feigned) anger Temel sez, "I'm not talking with you, I'm talking with the goat...

Temel joins in a drinking bout with a Frenchman and an American. When the trio is very well 'oiled', the Frenchmen starts to brag -- about the size of the French King Kong.
"Ahh, mon cher," he wheezes greasily, "If you could only see him! Why, with one step he is in Paris -- and with the next he's in Nice. A real French Colossus!"

"Hold on there, Sidewinder," the American blurts obnoxiously, "That dwarf can't hold a candle to ours! Why our King Kong can put one foot in New York, one foot in Buenos Aires -- and with one of his free hands, he can reach up and grasp the Universe!!!"

Temel is bloodshot and bleary-eyed from far too much Rakı, but he still manages to regard his drinking companions -- and add his own comment, "My dear American friend...That is not the Universe that your King Kong grasps," he coos. "That is the left testicle of OUR King Kong!" he closes

Temel and Fadime have an emergency...

In a state of high anxiety, Temel telephones the doctor. He can hardly get the words out, "Doctor, doctor...Our baby just swallowed a condom! Come quickly!"
The doctor drops everything and hurriedly readies his instrument case. As he starts running out the door, the phone rings again. Once more it's Temel, but his voice is relaxed and cheerful as he says, "You can take it easy doctor. All's well. You won't have to come. We found another one!"

One day Temel, an Englishman, and a Frenchman take off on a train journey. And when lunch time rolls around, they all pull out their sandwich bags.

The Englishmen is first to speak. "My wife always puts a very special English cheese in my sandwiches. If this sandwich has any other cheese, I'll throw myself out the window of this speeding train..." he says. With that he opens his sandwich and finds it heaped with very special cheese -- from Holland. And he throws himself out the window of the train to his death.

A little later, the Frenchman gets hungry. And, in the same manner as the Englishman, he says, "In my whole life, my wife never puts anything but Roquefort cheese on my sandwiches. If she put something else on this one, I'll also throw myself out the window." So he opens his sandwich and what does he see...? It's filled with saltless village cheese! And, of course, he too throws himself out the window of the speeding train -- with the same result as the Englishman.

And then it's Temel's turn. And he says to himself, "These mental retards don't know their wives at all. My Fadime, in her whole life, never uses anything but good old Turkish White Cheese on sandwiches. If she did otherwise on this one, I too will throw myself out the window." And when he opens his sandwich? Yup, it's filled with Turkish Kaşar Cheese! And yes...he throws himself out the window to his death -- like the others.

In the village, due to the death of the husbands, all the women set to mourning -- with continuous crying and beating of chests.

All except Fadime, that is... who stands off, and laughs silently to herself.

When the crowd see this, they all gather round and one of them says, "Hey, Fadime, have you gone crazy? Your husband is dead, and you stand there laughing...?"

Fadime manages to pull herself together for a moment to answer, "Oh, I'm unhappy, of course...Our men died in a rather bad way...It's just that...Well, Temel always made his own sandwiches..."

2.       janissary
0 posts
 09 Mar 2006 Thu 08:48 pm

Temel is drinking too much. To show him the harm, his friends throw a worm into his glass of whiskey. When the worm dies, one of his friends says, "Look Temel, what can you learn from that?"
Temel looks up blearily. "You should drink whiskey if you have worms in your body," he says.

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