Hi all, I am new to all this and need urgent help!

I have been seeing a guy in Turkey for over a year now and we have had our share of fighting and drama already which I think is normal over there but then recently his mum died and it broke his heart. He has never been the same since, especially with me. Recently after having a break because of all that we got back together and everything was great until we had a silly fight, we didn’t speak for a week but then we did everything was back to normal but in the last week he will not answer my calls. I have sent him text messages at the weekend saying that I want to be with him and I love him but that he didn’t seem as if he loved me so I would stop calling. He hasn’t called since but I haven’t either. I don’t want him to think I have given up on him because I love him so much and because he has lost his mum I know that he is feeling so alone. I have promised him he would never lose me but I don’t know if its just he has no credit, or if its just that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, he wont say. I don’t want to fight I know that is what he thinks I just want to know what is happening. Because I feel that there are many misunderstandings between us sometimes I dont think he knows what I mean and as much as I can try to understand what he is feeling he cant expect me to keep calling when he has made me feel that he doesnt want me too. I was supposed to go there for Christmas to spend some time and I am so sad that I might not get to do that because all I want is to be with him again but I don’t know what to think anymore. His English isn’t good and my Turkish is worse so I was wondering if anyone out there could give me some help in Turkish as he would understand this better and I need him to know how I feel, I want him to know that if he wants me I am here because I love him that much but that if he doesnt then he has to let me go. Its so terrible, I am love sick I miss talking to him so much it kills me..... please help!

Thanks all

Dear Maureen75!

You should be more specific about what kind of help you want. Personal Turkish teacher? Translator? Shrink?

First you should calm down and be concentrated. There are a lot of people with various skills here, so you can find what you are looking for. In case you know what you are looking for. 

I didn´t want to be too harsh but it´s important not to collapse down. You need to think things trough a lot of times to find your way.

Take care and good luck!

Hey girl,

the best thing you can do is to live your life cause no matter whats going on in his life, if he truly loves and cares he should try to look for help and support in you. So if he doesnt do that then he doesnt care or he has some emotional problems and when he doesnt want your help in that either then you should let it go.

Dont let him think that you will wait for him like some dog.

One thing is to let him know that you are there for him and ready to help him in everything he needs, and another thing is to make yourself feel worse and worse by writing over and over again without getting any answer + make him think that whatever he does it wont have any consequences. Everything has its limits, respect yourself girl.

So like I said, best if you try to live your things, your life and if he does care, if he will realize and understand that he is acting selfish then he will come back to you on his knees and then its all up to you what you are going to do but maybe you wont take it so emotionaly then and it will be easier to judge the situation.

Best is to wait and see but dont let yourself stuck in some limbo.

Take care of yourself and dont let others make you feel down.

There are loads of lovely people on this site who will help with translations. Think carefully about what you want to say to him and the ask for e to t translation. If you love him as much as you say it´s worth a try.