bu kafanda ne var ne is lan? soylicem hos olmicak simdi

bi ewcil kaplanim ya da aslanim olsun istiorum, cok mu sey istiyorum... armut bana aslan alll

what´s on your mind, what the heck is that?  I´ll say it but it won´t be nice..

I want a pet tiger or lion, is it too much... armut(pear) buy me a lion

ps: I wrote the meaning of armut in paranthesis cuz it seemed like a nickname to me..

Thank you.

What does this mean?

gote giren semsiye acilmaz

 means that you should break up with these friends you have.. they are dirty

Thank you very much.  I thought it might be off color!

 It´s something about sticking an umbrella up your a*** (probably idiomatic )

Oh my, yes my "friend" isn´t being very nice.

How do I say in turkish, "Yes, I should think an umbrella inserted in this way would not open!"

i heard once that it´s actually a japanese or chinese saying, not sure though.. it means when something´s done, there´s no turning back.