a poem i wrote about where i live..
as can be imagined, this didnt go down too well with the people at school who have been born and bred here hehe oh well

Laindon

The trees are blowing side by side,
But the life around here has already died,
The sun is shining; the grass is green,
But living around here is just obscene,
Children are playing; the sky is blue,
But it does not change the terrible view,
As I see it this place is grey,
And it’s getting worse day by day,
The people here are all the same,
If it’s not their fault then who’s to blame?
There are no flowers; the birds don’t sing,
It’s always the same whether autumn or spring,
There’s always that feeling hung in the air,
That strange unhappiness that’s ever so rare,
The people here are worse than low,
But what can I say? It’s all they know,
Everyone has that terrible sneer,
But what do you expect? They come from here,
Living here is such a con,
But it’s the best it gets; this is Laindon.

r u referring to laindon, essex?i live in basildon

Now that one really came from the heart! Very very good Miss C, I loved it. My friend lives in Langdon hills. I think it is nicer there? I have never been to Laindon. My sister lives in Rayleigh, that is quite nice. I was shopping in Basildon the weekend before last. Hmmm...can't say too much about shopping in Basildon to be honest!

no langdon hills and laindon are very different.both come under basildon but laindon is council estates wheraes langdon hills is private.

no langdon hills and laindon are very different.both come under basildon but laindon is council estates wheraes langdon hills is private.
The shopping is pretty bad in basildon but lakeside (chafford hundred) is only bout 20 minutes away

robin(rabia)

Lakeside - now you're talking! Ikea! ooohhhh I could stay there all day, eating meatballs and browsing....heaven!

Ikea...hey, Lyndie...I live close to the biggest Ikea on the whole planet! ...get over here...there will be just as much meatballs as you can eat!

hahaha.. i cant believe you have actually heard of this place..??

hehe anyway, are there any ways i could improve the poem?

You should never try to improve what flows from the heart! İt wıll never have the same passion if you try to make somethıng 'better' for the sake of it. Leave it! İt says what you feel and that is what poetry should be like (well in my opinion anyway)