You all forgot 'modesty'

Serving!
I forget who asked this, but here are some interesting experiences I have had about 'serving'
When I stayed at the house of my friend and his family once I cooked an English meal for them all. This is how I was instructed to serve the meal.

1st
to be served was Arif amca. Because he was the oldest male and he was a guest.
2nd
was my own husband, because he was the next oldest male and also a guest.
3rd
was Gülsen (Yenge) because she was a guest.
4th.
My friends mother, because she was the next important person in the list by virtue of her age.
5th.
My freinds brother. Younger than my friend, but a male nevertheless. If my friend had been sitting instead of helping me, he would have been next because he is older than his brother!
6th.
Ayşe the young female cousin.
7th
I then made my friend sit down and I served him.
Last but by no means least - Me!

When there are no other guests but me. I am always served 1st by my friend, because I am then the guest, then his mother and then his brother. HOWEVER. I am also expected (not by him but by his mother) to serve him while he is serving everyone else. Also if he is too busy serving, he doesn't get much food because he either gives it all to everyone else or they take it, so I will fill his plate while he looks after everyone else.

I am not normally allowed to serve whenever other non-family guests come, because they would think badly of the 'family' I am staying with. I am allowed to serve my friend and his mother and brother if I make the tea and then I serve his mother first and then him, then his brother.

Another time, there was a very big family gathering and I was more of a 'family' member than a guest, then I joined the women in the preparation of the food and we all served the men - who did bugger all!

When I stayed with another friend, who has no other family living with him. I always made the tea and coffee and served him and his (male)friends. But when he cooked the meal (which was usually) He would serve me because I was his guest. When I cooked the meal, then I served him, when we both cooked, we served each other the separate dishes that we each made.

I actually quite liked the ritual of all this 'serving', because I was choosing to do it, BUT if the time came when it was taken for granted that I would serve because I was the woman, then I would hate it!

I am pretty sure that I would make a terrible Turkish woman. I am neither quiet, modest, can never ever keep my opinions to myself. Will argue with anyone with whom I disagree, especially Turkish men, laugh out loud.

I also have a Turkish friend who told me once that Turkish women cry quietly and prettily whereas European women look and sound like 'pigs' when they cry. Snorting and snuffling and their faces all looking repulsive Or maybe that was just me! . So add to the list of what makes a polite Turkish woman that ability to cry silently and maintain their beauty and composure.

society and its values... there's nothing I want more then to cry politely! (to ensure that any passing by macho finds me soft and pretty so that he can jump in to rescue me and then feel how strong he is )

lyndie, meryem liked ur post! she is muslim (probably), happy to hear positive opinions on their traditions.
here i have some point tp ur post, namely, why anyone should care how she/he looks like while he cries?
i feel sorry for turkish women if they cant sincerely cry!
horrible, even that last sad gesture should be controlled in order to look acceptable by men! what a life!