Whether your pregnancies are planned or a surprise (although, if you are having sex, I don´t see how it can be a "total´ shock), I think that setting time aside for your partner is vital to having a harmonious relationship.  I don´t know how many people I know who put all thier energy and time into the kids and let their relationship fall apart.  It is so easy to loose site of the relationship that created the kids in the first place. 

Pure words of wisdom!!! Babies can totally ruin a relationship, they are small but powerful.

I have never seen babies ruining the relationships..Sometime, they MEND the relationships but they never ruin them..

you haven´t lived long enough then!

I have seen a baby´s problems ruin a relationship. It wasn´t the actual baby, but difference in how to deal with the baby´s issues. And I have seen MANY people who thought a baby could mend a relationship, which ofcourse it couldn´t. If your relationship is bad, bringing a baby into it isn´t magically going to fix it. After a month all the old problems pop up.

Just like Elisabeth said, the baby often takes up ALL your time and people stop spending any time together where they focus on each other, and not always on the baby. That can easily make them distant and eventually drift apart.. on top of that babies bring new dilemmas for the parents, which may make the existing relationship problems worse.

I have no idea how babies ´fix´ relationships.. maybe you could elaborate more on that, thehandsom?

I have no intention to argue with "baby haters"

good, you derschowitz!!

I love babies. I just hate stupid parents I get irritated by people in bad relationships, who bring an innocent child in it. They become frustrated, angry, screaming parents. When I see a parents scream at their child in public or even worse, hit it, I just want to smack the parent across the head with my slipper. Some people should REALLY not have babies...

They don´t have indeed, they have pets!