Sana oyle his ettirdigim icin ozur dilerim. Ve buna bende bu sekilde dusundugune cok ozuldum.

 I apologize for making you feel like that, and I was sad that you thought that way of me

Tam olarak bilmiyorum galiba hayat beni cok yordu ve insalar.

I dont really know it seems life and people have tired me

 Buna ozelliklede ailem ve buna karsin bazan ben sanki ben degilmisim gibi yasiyorum kendimi zaman zaman tanimaktan zorlaniyorum.

especially my family? sometimes its as if I am living as not me/  and from time to timeI am finding it difficult to  know myself

Bu benim irademin disinda.

This is inspite of my self control?

Kafami toparlayamiyorum cunku cok yoruldum.

I can`t collect my thoughts because I`m so tired

 hak etmedigim bir yerde oldugumu dusunuyorum.

I think I am somewhere that I dont deserve

 Inanki seninle alakasi yok,

believe that there is no connection? romantic inclination with you

 bu yuzden hayatimdada kimse yok, insalarla iletisim kurmaktan zorlaniyorum.

I struggle from establishing communication with people that`s why there is no one in my life aswell

 Senden once birini gercek anlamda sevdim yani asik oldum

I truely loved someone before you, I mean I fell in love

 oda cok uzaklarda sadece yasadigini bilmek icin yilda bir kere arkadas gibi mesajlasiyoruz beni sevmedigini bile bile unutamadim cunku mumkun degil.

she lived far away and we sent messages once in a year?? as freinds I couldn`t forget even though I knew she didnt love me ,because its not possible

 Sanki bir hastalik gibi ruhumu ele gecirdi kalbime kilit vurdu ve aldi artik geri vermiyor.

Its as if an illness passed from hand to my soul it stole my heart and locked it up and now it`s not returning

 Bunlari sana yazdigim icin cok ozgunum. Ama sana karsi hic yalan soylemedim.

I`m  so sorry for writing this to you, but I could never lie towards you

Umarim bu soguklugun sana karsi degilde genel olarak var olduguna inanirsin.

I hope you believe this coldness is not normal and it is not towards you

 Bu senin benim icin onemini degistirmez.

this dosen`t change your importance for me

my try but with no puncuation ,it was a nightmare wait for corrections

Thanks!