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what happens to the Damata after wedding.
1.       ayse-eski
422 posts
 17 Oct 2010 Sun 01:39 am

My boyfriend went for a wedding in a village, the wedding ended and he and others were waiting for the Damat to come home, he could not explain to me what was gonna happen but he said they will not let the Damat sleep. But the wedding was over...he should go for honeymoon right?

Does anybody understand this process....it made me nervous because I could not understand anything, sunddenly cars started to horn. I guess the Damat was arriving...

Please would someone give me a better explanation?

Thanks!!



Edited (10/17/2010) by ayse-eski

2.       vineyards
1954 posts
 17 Oct 2010 Sun 01:41 pm

Depending on the region you live in Turkey, there are different sets of traditions which the locals observe quite strictly. This point is considered as a token of respect shown to bride´s and groom´s families. 

The general pattern of village and small town wedding parties usually involve separate celebrations organized by bride´s and groom´s families. Bride´s family organize a kina gecesi attended by the women from both sides and bride´s girl friends. It is an all woman celebration. They sing traditional songs with themes like sorrow felt over having to abondon one´s family and joy of marriage, forming a new family. This usually happens in a ceremonial pattern and women often play and dance together and cook meals. In some places, there is also a Turkish bath celebration where women from both sides reserve the place for their celebrations.

On the groom´s side, there is a jubilant atmosphere. Groom´s best man (sadic) takes up the job of keeping his morale high. Since, there is no premarital sexuality in a small town setting (in theory) the first night has a special importance for both bride and groom. Again in theory, they spend their lives waiting for this day to taste something which they don´t have the first idea about. Kina gecesi and groom´s celebration also serve as an opportunity where these matters are talked about and where suggestions are given usually in a cultural and religious context.

Naturally, we have a very nervous bride and groom and in places where customs are the most strictly observed, the blood stained sheet of the first night bed must be shown or delivered to the families. Groom´s friends accompany him to the bride´s room often slapping on his back. Some do this lightly and some harshly. We can think of a practical benefit gained from the increase of adrenaline due to pain.

Picture yourself, having your first experience with a woman and you need to produce a blood stained sheet as a proof of your achievement. Add to that the psychology of the bride and you can tell the amount of panic and anxiety.

Again I should stress, these traditions tend to be old fashioned and local, in the big city, you can observe just faint references to these traditions in many weddings. I would say they are more European than Turkish these days.



Edited (10/17/2010) by vineyards

Lololooo liked this message
3.       ayse-eski
422 posts
 18 Oct 2010 Mon 01:06 am

wow! 

I talked to him today, and he said  that what they were doing was just a game, because the bride was waiting in the other room while they were making the groom cook for them, make tea for them ....i understood that they were just making fun of him so it would take longer to finally spend the night together with his wife.


Did not sound funny for me, but immature. anyway, I thought only in the old times italians would show the sheet for the family =S  actually it happend in the village where his friend lives. So it makes more sense. 

 

Thanks for explanation  =)) 

 

kindly

ayse

 

 

 

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