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Realistic stories of homesick Dutch living in Turkey
1.       Tulip
106 posts
 11 Nov 2010 Thu 05:39 pm

Lving in Turkey as Dutch is not always easy. I found the following realistic stories, please read it and feel free to comment...


2.       armegon
1872 posts
 11 Nov 2010 Thu 06:53 pm

It is all about money...

3.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 11 Nov 2010 Thu 06:54 pm

Nice post, Tulip.  We see many posts one this site with members stating that they want to live in Turkey.  Maybe after reading some of these stories they will realize that Turkey isn´t always a picture perfect wonderland. 

Edited (11/11/2010) by Elisabeth

4.       barba_mama
1629 posts
 11 Nov 2010 Thu 08:10 pm

Reading that article makes me shake my head. I see problems in there that could one could see coming from miles. Things like a demanding family is something you should discus BEFORE you get married. Anybody who has a tiny bit of knowledge of Turkish and Dutch culture knows that the way families treat eachother is different. Am I the only one who had talks about this at the beginning of my relationship (for example, having agreements about how long family can stay if they come to visit)?

Also, if your life is hard, you are not happy in the place you´re living in, what makes you think having TWO children there is a good idea... I just don´t get how people make important decisions in their lives in such a way. You should think ahead. It´s not about which country has the best climate, but you have to think about money, security for your children, things like this. If you don´t have a good support system in Turkey, not steady job, your partner has no steady job, you don´t know anything about how your life will be there, than why why why would you just move there as a married person, who wants to settle down?

5.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 11 Nov 2010 Thu 09:18 pm

Having faced the dilema of which country we will live in after marriage myself, I can tell you the decision is based on many factors.  Language was a huge consideration for us.  My husband spoke both Turkish and English and it would be very easy for him to get a job in the US whereas, my Turkish is not that strong (and probably never will be) and it would be very difficult for me to work in Turkey. 


As far as children are concerned, I think whatever culture they are born in is the one you have to stick with until they can choose for  themselves (unless some unavoidable event occurs).  So choose wisely.  Being uprooted as a child is not fun and moving from an Eastern to Western culture or vice versa can be extremely traumatizing. 


As far as Turkish families are concerned, simply put, GET TO KNOW THEM before you decide if you can tolerate living near them.  Some Turkish families are pushy and butt into your problems and others are more respectful of boundries.  More often than not, your Turkish family is going to show a bit more interest in your personal business than a traditional western family.  You have to ask yourself....can I deal with this everyday???  Also, when you are upset about your loves family butting into your business, there is a good chance that your partner will not understand why you are upset. 


I had to consider the scary possibility that I may be stuck in a small village with no job, no money, surround by people who frustrate me, a husband who doesn´t understand my frustration, my family and friends 6000 miles away, in a country where I don´t speak the language.  I am not the sort of woman to back away from a challenge, but I am not a fool either.  I knew in my heart that I would be setting my marriage up for failure. 


Ultimately, it is not a decision to be entered into lightly but it is hard to tell someone in love that loving someone doesn´t guarantee happiness.  


Laila65, Tulip, Daydreamer and Henry liked this message
6.       AlphaF
5677 posts
 12 Nov 2010 Fri 05:39 am


Quoting Elisabeth

Nice post, Tulip.  We see many posts one this site with members stating that they want to live in Turkey.  Maybe after reading some of these stories they will realize that Turkey isn´t always a picture perfect wonderland. 


The sıtuatıon ıs ındetermınate and can best be explaıned by Quantum Theory whıch recognızes the effect of the observer on whatever the process.

Thus, perhaps life in Turkia is perfect - only when you are not around to observe it.

Elisabeth liked this message
7.       Tulip
106 posts
 12 Nov 2010 Fri 04:23 pm

Yesterday there was a documentary on Dutch TV about a Turkish family who re-emigrate to Turkey after 30 year living in Holland back to a big house in suburb near Ankara with her inlaws close by.

You can see the documentary which is mainly in Turkish with Dutch subtitles at:


barba_mama liked this message
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