Having faced the dilema of which country we will live in after marriage myself, I can tell you the decision is based on many factors. Language was a huge consideration for us. My husband spoke both Turkish and English and it would be very easy for him to get a job in the US whereas, my Turkish is not that strong (and probably never will be) and it would be very difficult for me to work in Turkey.
As far as children are concerned, I think whatever culture they are born in is the one you have to stick with until they can choose for themselves (unless some unavoidable event occurs). So choose wisely. Being uprooted as a child is not fun and moving from an Eastern to Western culture or vice versa can be extremely traumatizing.
As far as Turkish families are concerned, simply put, GET TO KNOW THEM before you decide if you can tolerate living near them. Some Turkish families are pushy and butt into your problems and others are more respectful of boundries. More often than not, your Turkish family is going to show a bit more interest in your personal business than a traditional western family. You have to ask yourself....can I deal with this everyday??? Also, when you are upset about your loves family butting into your business, there is a good chance that your partner will not understand why you are upset.
I had to consider the scary possibility that I may be stuck in a small village with no job, no money, surround by people who frustrate me, a husband who doesn´t understand my frustration, my family and friends 6000 miles away, in a country where I don´t speak the language. I am not the sort of woman to back away from a challenge, but I am not a fool either. I knew in my heart that I would be setting my marriage up for failure.
Ultimately, it is not a decision to be entered into lightly but it is hard to tell someone in love that loving someone doesn´t guarantee happiness.
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