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on sunday evening i returned to fethtiye, and went to a bar with the people i had spent the whole week on board the gullet. we went to a bar called the car cemetery. while we were there a young man was stood in a bar door way rocking back and forth , and holding something close to his ear ,which i presumed was a phone, a few people i was with started to laugh at him ,and i said for them to stop because there was obviously something wrong with him,eventually they stopped laughingand continued to carry on drinking and chatting, but for some reason i was very interested in him,and wanted to know why he was stood there rocking back and forth holding his hand to his ear. so i asked the waiter, to my saddness i discovered that it was ,and please forgive me if i say his name wrong,sedat?the waiter then told me about him, i have heard this story but because my turkish is not good i thought it was just a made up love story. all turks will know the story of sedan? and leyla? as the waiter told me about his sad life and the love he had , and still has for leyla i found myself crying, maybe someone else can tell the story better than me ,well its not a story its true. he loved a girl and wanted to marry her, but her family said he wasnt good enough for her ,this sent him crazy, he has to go into hospital every six months,and when he comes out he walks around fethtiye rocking and swaying holding a pretend phone in his hand , and says leyla, i sat down with him and the waiter asked him where is leyla , he replied in istanbul, i shock his hand ,and watched him swaying back and forth, i asked the waiter if he is looked after,he assured me that all the resturants look after him, everybody takes care of him, i could not bear to see him my heart was aching and my eyes were beginning to sting , i bought him a cola, and returned to my friends,
but now at home i cant stop thinking about him ,and how cruel those parents were to this guy
his love for this girl was sooooooooo strong that without it he became crazy, soooooooooooo sad!
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...and a proof of how strong love can be! 
All i seem capable of is crying and getting angry at Kadir because he is studyign for his VERY important exams instead of tlaking to me. I'm just a bitch these days and I don't like it. I just had enough of all of it and i dont want anymore. I just wanna step on a plane and never come back and blahblahblahblah (and some more very unrealistic but panicked dreams).
Sending a text that though he seems an angry rude jerk (those were my words 
), he is dying for me during the day and only studying so hard that he cna enjoy us being together this summer. So right now I'm quite ok again and it's sunny.