Kalır gibi gidişlerini izledim önce,sonra gider gibi kalışlarını..
Ve anladım ki ne sen gidebiliyorsun ne ben kalabiliyorum.

Öyle bir hayat yaşıyoruz ki şimdi;ağlamak gülmenin mahkumu.

gülmek ağlamanın gardiyanı gibi sanki...

My Try:

Before I was tracing outgoings which were like staying, later stays which were like going. And I understood neither you are able to go nor I can stay. That´s the life we are living now: cry is the prisoner of laughter, as if laughter is the guard of cry.

(Very ambiguous, this needs a native English speaker. I wonder why I ever touched it.)

thank you so much^^