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1.       nessah
744 posts
 05 Oct 2016 Wed 06:20 am

yes we have talked. and the first night on whatsapp we had a big fight.
we almost seperated. we cursed at each other.
u know, i hate that he is out at night. and he hates to be at home.
i dont know how to solve it. i just want a normal lover.
that has a job to go to at days. mature. not making me worried.
when he is outside at nights, I beg him to go home.
I feel stupid when I do that. becuz of course i dont want to
pressure him. of course he should be free. but if u love someone u must
do some sacrifices sometimes. dont u agree? if i was outside every night..
he would never accept that. or if i did something that bothers him.
when he is outside very late. i just sit at home and cry and wondering
wwhat he is doing. and i worry. i cant sleep. i wish that he would
understand.but he just get angry at me.
most of the time i just keep quiet and cry instead. it feels like something
is breaking inside of me. i tried to talk with him about it many times.
sometimes he became better. but only for some days. then its the same again.
anyway i dont know why im telling u this. i love him with all of my heart.
but if love is this much hard. then i would rather spend the rest of my life
alone. i cant see myself with someone else other than him. when i love someone,
i really love deeply and it doesnt fade away. sometimes i wish that i was a
cold person who didnt cared. everything would be easier. ok i will be quiet now.

2.       Celile
13 posts
 06 Oct 2016 Thu 04:11 pm

Evet konuştuk ve whatsapptaki ilk gecemizde büyük bir kavgamız oldu. Neredeyse ayrılıyorduk. Birbirimize küfür ettik. Biliyorsun, onun geceleri dışarda geçirmesinden nefret ederim, o da evde durmaktan nefret eder. Nasıl çözeceğimi bilemiyorum. Normal bir sevgili istiyorum. Normal bir işi olan, olgun olan, beni merakta bırakmayan bir sevgili. O geceleri dışaradayken ona eve gel diye yalvarıyorum. Onu yaparken kendimi aptal gibi hissediyorum. Çünkü tabii ki ona baskı yapmak istemiyorum. Elbette özgür olmalı. Ama birini severken bazen fedakarlık yapmak lazım, sence öyle değil mi ? Ben her gece dışarıda geçirseydim o bunu asla kabul etmezdi. Yada onu rahatsız edecek birşey yapsaydım. O geç saatlere kadar dışarıdayken ben evde oturup ağlıyorum, ne yapıyor diye düşünüyorum ve onu merak ediyorum. Uyuyamıyorum da. Keşke beni anlasa. ama sadece kızıyor bana. Çoğu zaman sadece sessiz kalıyorum ve konuşmak yerine ağlıyorum. Bazen içim parçalanıyor gibi hissediyor. Bir çok kez meseleyi konuştum onunla ve biraz daha iyi oluyordu ama bir gün sürüp yine eskisine dönüyordu. Herneyse bunları neden sana anlattığımı bilmiyorum.Tüm kalbimle seviyorum onu. Fakat sevmek bu kadar zorsa eğer, hayatımı yalnız geçirmeyi tercih ederim. Kendimi ondan başkasıyla birlikte hayal edemiyorum. Ben birini severken içten severim ve bu hissler kolayca yol olmaz. Bazen hiç bir şeyi önemsemeyen soğuk kanlı biri olmak isterdim. O zaman herşey daha kolay olurdu. Tamam susacağım şimdi.

Quoting nessah

yes we have talked. and the first night on whatsapp we had a big fight.
we almost seperated. we cursed at each other.
u know, i hate that he is out at night. and he hates to be at home.
i dont know how to solve it. i just want a normal lover.
that has a job to go to at days. mature. not making me worried.
when he is outside at nights, I beg him to go home.
I feel stupid when I do that. becuz of course i dont want to
pressure him. of course he should be free. but if u love someone u must
do some sacrifices sometimes. dont u agree? if i was outside every night..
he would never accept that. or if i did something that bothers him.
when he is outside very late. i just sit at home and cry and wondering
wwhat he is doing. and i worry. i cant sleep. i wish that he would
understand.but he just get angry at me.
most of the time i just keep quiet and cry instead. it feels like something
is breaking inside of me. i tried to talk with him about it many times.
sometimes he became better. but only for some days. then its the same again.
anyway i dont know why im telling u this. i love him with all of my heart.
but if love is this much hard. then i would rather spend the rest of my life
alone. i cant see myself with someone else other than him. when i love someone,
i really love deeply and it doesnt fade away. sometimes i wish that i was a
cold person who didnt cared. everything would be easier. ok i will be quiet now.

 

 

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