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The word Canim. Help please to understand the situation!
1.       Majsan
7 posts
 21 Oct 2016 Fri 04:25 pm



I begin by warning of a very long text and probably poor English when I use Google translation when I´m bad at spelling. Hope you understand anyway.

 I´m new here and have a couple of questions I hope to get answers to.

Long story short;

I am a women from Sweden and went down to Turkey on vacation in early summer this year and I met the most beautiful man who walks on this earth!

My best friend was with me and it was she who said that he was flirting with me. I do not see that.

He has told me that he thinks I´m cute and he even called me cutie repeatedly.

I went home and we continued to keep in touch. On my initiative.

So I went back down now in august to meet him again.

I was so sure we would have sex with each other when energy between us had been so loaded the last time I was down. But No.


The first day, I sat and drank coffee with my back against the pedestrian area of the hotel when I suddenly feel a hand on my shoulder and there he was. He must have recognized my from behind. 

He said repeatedly that it was nice to see me again. Looked at me up and down with a big smile and wide-open eyes. 

That evening he said, "You are really cute tonight," and stroked my cheek and chin with his thumb.

His whole body language says he is attracted to me.

He is standing near me, inside the comfort zone. Caressing my hair, chin ... Takes me on the shoulder when he does not need to do so.

One night when I was drunk, I got the courage to tell him that I wanted him for one night. His response was "I´m not a fucker" and "I think you´re going to get hurt afterward" And "it will never happen"

The following day he asked me, very inconvenient and looked down, what I thought would happen after we had sex. At first, I dedent heard what he said, so he had to say it again and it sytes that it was hard for him. I answered; I will go home and carry on with my life. He shook his head and said; No, I think you´re going to get hurt.


The last day, we continue our conversation and he said he is not a man who plays with heart, he can not do so. I told him that I see him only as a friend, a friend that I want to spend a night with. Nothing more.

He comes and stands beside me, a little behind, and raised his hand in to my hair and start massaging the back of my head. He hold on to secure five minstes while my legs became softer and softer. 

A moment later, as I sat at the top of a stairs while we were talking, He walks past me, bends down and caresses me with full hands from the neck down to the lower back and walks away.


In my world, you do not do so if you not find the other person attractive or have an interest.

 Especially not after our conversation and our history.

I said; Can you honestly say that it will never happen between us?

He laughed and said, But I have already told you, when you were drunk.

Ok I said. Then I take a step back and leave you alone.

He laughed again and said, but you´re all already done that. He hugged me and kissed me on the head.


When I got home, he had sent a message with the word. "Have a good flight babe."

Now he sometimes call me babe and a few days ago he wrote "Merhaba canim" to me. !?!?

How should I interpret it?  Which English word would you use to translate it?

I understand that it can mean different depend on who you say / write it to.

But given what you have just read, what do you think?

I can not understand him. For he says one thing with his mouth and another with his body and hands.


Please come with opinions.

There had been much appreciated.


2.       Majsan
7 posts
 21 Oct 2016 Fri 04:32 pm

Maybe should add that we both singles and round

3.       Majsan
7 posts
 21 Oct 2016 Fri 04:45 pm


Maybe should add that we both singles and round  30

Adam25 liked this message
4.       dahabre78
1 posts
 29 Oct 2016 Sat 07:18 am

Run away. he is not interested in you. Canim is my dear ... people say it to each other. women to each other. a mom to her kids... even a man to man ... canim doesnt mean anything special in the western culture. he was very clear. he is not attracted to you or maybe he is gay. he said he doesnt want to you sleep with you and lead you to think that he likes you the same way you like him and the same way you are attracted to him. Turks like to flirt and they find this romantic ( for us it is dishonest ) just take the memories of good time you spent with him and move on... I fully understand the turkish culture 

moonblast liked this message
5.       moonblast
3 posts
 31 Oct 2016 Mon 05:56 pm

Canım is just a term of endearment. It is used with relatives, friends and between lovers too. However this word does not have that much weight in comparison to "aşkım" or "bitanem" which are more romantic. My advice to you is to see the word "canım" as a casual term; not really special. If a girl comes to visit my shop and buys a handbag, I can say "Teşekkür ederiz canım".. See? Not so special. It is similar to the term "hun" in English.

6.       moonblast
3 posts
 31 Oct 2016 Mon 05:58 pm

++ The previous person is correct. Turkish people love to flirt and charm. So you should really not think too much of it. Sorry canım for what he did to you...

7.       zeytinne
596 posts
 31 Oct 2016 Mon 06:59 pm


Quoting moonblast

++ The previous person is correct. Turkish people love to flirt and charm. So you should really not think too much of it. Sorry canım for what he did to you...


Let´ s say it! Turkish men will never want something serious with a drunken foreigner who just come to Turkey resorts to drink alcohol and have sex with turkish men. Turkish absolutely hate women who drink alcohol. 

Edited (10/31/2016) by zeytinne

scalpel - - liked this message
8.       scalpel - -
203 posts
 01 Nov 2016 Tue 08:25 pm



good news: the boy is an actor (Özgürcan Çevik)

bad news: The girl is Turkish too (Sümeyra Koç




zeytinne liked this message
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