My virtual love

My virtual love....

O : Hi
R : Hi..
O : How are you ?
R : I´m good & how about you ?
O : I´m good too, thanks
R : ASL ?
O : 23 / M / Turkey
R : I see...btw, how do you know my ID ?
O : I dont know, but you are in my friend list (YM)

Those conversation that I remember about him once 1st time I know him. Since then we almost everyday meet online & chat everything about us. Its was normal talk or just small talk about our selves & we change our FB address where I can see his activities & the way around he can see mine; YM & FB the only place where we maintained our communications.

By the time & knowing about him, I can feel something growing inside my heart & I can feel something for him. I like him future more it´s could be call "Love" He´s such a nice young man that capture my heart & at that time I feel that he have the same feeling about me & it´s made me very happy.

Even from distance he can make me happy but can make me sad only by his ignorance. I really enjoy the time when he´s being with me even thought I know we have no future to plan as the gap beetwen us is too great but we feel "connect" thus who made me keep on hoping can see him one day in real.

He´s PM me when see me online & I did the same once see he´s online....but one day once I see him online I didn’t PM him nor he didn’t PM me, after few minute I can´t see his online, I thought that he might sign out. Every time I log in, the 1st time I check is if he online or not & this time I didn’t see that he´s online then I check my friend list that he´s not in my list anymore.... He´s deleted me !!

I feel shocked and wondering what might happened why he deleted me without say anything.    Almost everyday I left him messages for asking why he deleted me & left me without saying anything but finally he left message & saying ; " you must understand me ,we arent together, I don´t think bad about you, you and me are different, we cant be at the same side , take care, byee " (these exactly what he wrote since these messages I still kept it until now)

Loosing him it´s made me shattered & I feel it´s even harder then loosing my ex husband. He´s so special to me & I feel touched with his charm & hospitality. I know it´s sound stupid that I manage long distance relationship without any future to plan for but it´s what was happen to me.

Since he left, I´m trying to move on in my life & trying to forget him, But I dig more about Turkey & Turkish.  
For now, I´m enjoying learning about Turkey; the histories under great emperor of Ottoman, the culture, the heritage, the people & the music´s that I playing it almost everyday.
From social networking I made friends with few Turkish and I can say that most of Turkish are sincere & nice people.

Just about 3 months back that he left me messages; saying how´s life are going on to me & feel that there´s nothing wrong between us & I was not asking about the pass except accept him & feel happy that he´s back. Although I´m feeling happy but I feel awkward at the same time as I don’t know what he really want & I notice that we have no future to plan for.

My biggest dream is to meet him in person even for while but after what we have now, I´m doubt my self whether I have to meet him or not.....
I´m planning to go to Turkey next year & hoping that he will meet me or I just will go to Turkey for enjoying the beauty of Turkey and want to prove my own impression about Turkey & Turkish.

I was not know at all about Turkey & Turkish till I met him.....Çok teþþekküler "O" for introducing me about such as A great country with great history with nice people & that´s call "TURKEY / TURKI" you live forever in my heart.....

Lady_Geo, Maryy, emjay and mbadit liked this essay

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